Don't let it go. That's not cool. Here at GuySpeak, we get tons of variations on the "my boyfriend/husband/guy I'm dating watches porn. How can I get him to stop?," question, and we usually say that you can't stop him, because guys would watch porn even if they were stuck in an igloo in Antarctica with nothing but a dial-up connection and an ancient computer they had to crank with their one free hand.
But this is different. This isn't alone time in the privacy of his own home. This is a public forum where your friends, coworkers, (heck, even your mom) can see that he is a "fan" of a porn star. Unless he actually knows this porn star (which would probably lead to a whole different discussion), and wants to support her adult film career, there is no way that being her fan on Facebook isn't skeevy. Even if he's trying to be cute, it's lame and disrespectful to you. "Dave is a fan of Jenna Jameson." Ha ha. Gross. We don't need to know that, pal.
Definitely say something. It's disrespectful. He's basically showing that he doesn't care how his behavior, online or otherwise, reflects on you. Tell him that seeing "Dave is a fan of Lisa Lipps" in his newsfeed is embarrassing to you. Tell him to keep that behind closed doors, and not where your friends, boss, and Aunt Margaret can see it.
But this is different. This isn't alone time in the privacy of his own home. This is a public forum where your friends, coworkers, (heck, even your mom) can see that he is a "fan" of a porn star. Unless he actually knows this porn star (which would probably lead to a whole different discussion), and wants to support her adult film career, there is no way that being her fan on Facebook isn't skeevy. Even if he's trying to be cute, it's lame and disrespectful to you. "Dave is a fan of Jenna Jameson." Ha ha. Gross. We don't need to know that, pal.
Definitely say something. It's disrespectful. He's basically showing that he doesn't care how his behavior, online or otherwise, reflects on you. Tell him that seeing "Dave is a fan of Lisa Lipps" in his newsfeed is embarrassing to you. Tell him to keep that behind closed doors, and not where your friends, boss, and Aunt Margaret can see it.
Hmmm... I was NOT expecting this answer... Forgot that fan pages are public now... Insightful
I LOVE this answer. +1
I don't think people think that much of being fans of porn stars on facebook. I'd do it. I love Jenna, I think she's a smart and strong woman. I'd totally be her fan (plus she showed me the right way to do a blow job, gotta give the lady props for that).
It's not like he personally knows her. I for one would love to see their staus updates.
I have a feeling it's not Jenna Jameson. "Porn model" sounds like one of those fake profiles that try to get you to sign up for some website.
I disagree with the answer. What's the difference with this or a hot actress or actor? I wouldn't be annoyed by this at all and my boyfriend is a fan of a couple of porn stars. There are bigger things to worry about.
I think it depends on the girlfriend. If she thinks it's disrespectful, don't cause unnecessary trouble by making private stuff like that public. Simple.
YES! Thank you C.Geek. I love when a Man recognizes when something is DISRESPECTFUL towards a woman. You are great. Marry me.
I feel like this could be somewhat of a double-standard. What if he (or she) is a fan of a really hot actor/actress? Is that disrespectful as well?
I guess it is a double standard. Because when I see that a guy is a
"fan" or "friend" of a porn star on Facebook I think, "What a skezzy loser." But when a woman does it, I might think, "That's funny!" or "That's kind of hot." But tough s$$t, dudes. Women deal with double standards all the friggin' time.
Whether he realizes it or not, Facebook is a public forum. Maybe don't be a fan of a porn star. Is that so much to ask?
Pubic forum?
Awww...geez. That was unintentional. Seriously.
to me an actor/actress are different from a porn star who get paid to take his/her clothes off and have sex on camera. i think its just tacky rather than disrespectful. everyone is on facebook now, so his boss and everyone and their momma will now know that he's "lisa lipps" fan.
I totally agree. An actor or actress is paid to act. A porn star is paid to have sex. While inherently there's nothing wrong with that, why does this guy HAVE to show off how much he appreciates it? People don't think about how many other people can see who they list as fans. Before you interview for a job, the company will look at your facebook, not to mention, all of your friends, and the girl's friends will be able to see it, too. Watch porno if you like, but keep it to yourself.
Very good point! A lot employers are checking these things now or using networking to check out future employees, so one should definitely take that into consideration, too.
OR.....you can make your profile so that only your friends could see it...just a thought
I totally did not see this answer coming...thought you were joking actually.
What is wrong with being a "fan" of some porn star on a stupid social networking site? I really don't get it. it's just Facebook for gods sake! lol
I'd rather my BF be a fan of a porn star on FB then flirting with a porn star at a bar!
If it makes her uncomfortable, why do it? Is it that important that the world knows he is a fan of Martha Muff? (Okay, I made that one up.)
And I would like to know where these bars are that porn stars frequent. Purely for research purposes, of course.
I agree with you. It would be different if you made a blog about it, but the fact that you were giving her advice about what she was concerned about is good and people shouldn't be getting their knickers in a twist :P
If it's Bridget the Midget I'd say the problem's not too big.
It's the principle of the matter, he is doing something that makes his girlfriend uncomfortable. Which, by the way, is a form of disrespect. Keep in mind however, that these situations vary to every other person. Not all people care if their significant other is "just" a fan of any porn star. Other people might interpret this situation as vulgar/distasteful. Given the fact that this particular woman is uncomfortable with how her bf in conducting himself on FB, I'd say that she has every right to voice her concerns. Why should she have to tolerate something she's uncomfortable with? I can guarantee if the "shoe was on the other foot" her bf would probably have issue w/ her choices in who she is a "fan' of on FB.
I had a big fight with my boyfriend over this. He has a pornstar wannabe as 1 of his facebook friends. I don't look at his friends' profiles but this girl's profile pic was calling for attention. She had a ton of sleazy comments on her wall and photos posted mostly by men. No surprise there. I told my bf that this was not cool and it felt demeaning to me.
I was shocked by his comment that he was just having fun and that she was kind of like a celebrity. He saw that I was not happy having her there so he reluctantly unfriended her and now, he blames me for it. He even had the nerve to compare that pornstar wannabe to Christian Bale. He said that there was no difference if I friended those guys. It will also be a potential source of insecurity for most men but not him. I told him that Christian is not a pornstar. Besides, I only include people I personally know in my network. I think he was caught in a lie and this was the easiest and lamest argument that he can come up with. He wanted me to apologize to him for this but I refuse. Why apologize for something that I feel is disrespectful to me?
Try "Kim Kardashian's ass" on facebook.
Seriously?
I know this is an old question, but it is so appropriate for me right now. I brought this situation up to my boyfriend and he refuses to stop liking these pages. He says I'm trying to censor/control him and that it really bothers him (especially since his ex was overly controlling and jealous). Also, that facebook is his bs grounds. He wants to be able to say and do whatever he wants on there without question and that nobody is forcing me to look at those pages. I asked him, Facebook aside, if that means he doesn't ever want to have consideration for my feelings....his answer: not when it comes to something he enjoys. I really care about him, but I'm starting to wonder if I should bother anymore.
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hahha I agree