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My boyfriend IM'd me, asking me to call him. I did, only to be ignored in favor of a game. Was I right to get mad at him for ignoring me when he asked me to call, or was that me just being a hard-ass bitch?

My gut reaction is to say that if "game" referred to sports game, then dump the asshole, but if it referred to Red Dead Redemption or something equally appropriate, then back off my boy, bitch. But upon further reflection, it occurs to me that my gut can be a tad biased.

Sure, your boyfriend sounds like a douchebag. Or at least, contacting someone to get them to contact you so you can ignore them is certainly something a sentient bag of douche might do. But that's only your side of the story, and I'll try and take into account the natural exaggerations inherent to both online communications and passionate talk about a partner.

The more pertinent point here, as I see it, is that you're asking me if you were "right to get mad," as if that were an externally verifiable thing, and my answer would make a difference in your relationship one way or the other. That says something about the way you think of the relationship, and what it's saying you might want to listen to.

It can be the hardest thing in the world to remember, but believe me, dating is not on a point-based system, nor does turning it into a competition guarantee a winner. Make it about who was right to be mad about what, and all you'll end up with is a "participation" trophy stuffed in the abandoned attic of your heart and a lame pizza party in the flooded basement of your regret (apparently some pipes burst in your regret basement).

Honestly, this one can be handled with a conversation. Just make sure to initiate said conversation at a time he doesn't have access to anything distracting, or he just might get wrapped up in a flash game or something and never fini

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37 Comments

jude

Not to play devil's advocate here, but the question I asked myself is, "When did he IM you, and when did you answer?" If he IM'd you and you called within 10 minutes and he didn't answer, then he's an ass. But if he IM'd you and you took a while to answer, it's very possible that the game he was planning on seeing started in the interim. Cause, ya knows, girlfriend/boyfriend will be there but the playoffs have to be seen at the time they're aired or it's not as fun. Ok, that was a load of BS, but still.
When it comes to sports, a lot of men are just like cavemen, whacking around frozen mammoth poop with their clubs, or sitting around with their clay bowls of popcorn incoherently screaming at their favorite teams. LOL

Dovey

It really depends on how much time had passed between the message he sent and the call you placed. Though I'd be pissed if I got ignored for sports. Not so much for video games, seeing as I can easily lose 8 hours to a good one.

No

I'd actually be MORE pissed if he ignored me for a video game. He can do that anytime...not to mention he could also just pause it and continue later! (This is coming from someone who likes video games infinitely more than sports, except college football.)

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I just don't feel like this is a big deal at all. You need to stop overanalyzing... but I guess this site wouldn't have any readers if girls didn't overanalyze...

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Agreed; if he was playing Red Dead, it's really all your fault, cause that game is THE SHIT. You're lucky he didn't dump you for interupting him while he was mounting his trusty stead. (/innuendo)

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I very much agree that it's not about what's right or what's wrong; it's more about being open enough with each other that it doesn't matter who has more rights or wrongs because you stopped counting.

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I feel that this comment will never be read at this point because it is sooo at the last threadline....But here it is. Your BF was wrong. He is playing a game. It's called a MIND GAME. He Im'ed you to call him and then he ignored you. Welcome to the game....he's got tons more too.

Most boys do stupid things when they are young.
Ex: I watched a young boy say to this cute blond young girl in the pool to "Come over here...I want to play with you"....she swam over and then he said "what do you want?" she said "You asked me to come to play!" and he said "No I didn't". He looked pretty smug until... her mother yelled at him, scared him and then he swam away with his head down. Good move on her part. He didn't get away with it.

Well that is essentially what you BF did to you. Sooo....do you have the right to be mad? No. Get Even. Next time he IM's you...(go offline) do that three times until he yells..."HEY YOU ARE INVISABLE AGAIN!!!"

Yep. That's right. That will make him mad that you are Ignoring him.

Later say "How does THAT feel?" and laugh.
Let him know that you are onto his "Games" and that he better stop playing around or you will press "GAME OVER" and DUMP HIM.

As for most of these comments...they just hope their girls don't dump them for playing RED DEAD whatever...tell em "You want a Real Man..thank you very much".

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