I'm confused as to what you're confused about. You are in swoon with a guy going to jail for five years. I'm glad that your family really likes him (obviously despite whatever he did to get himself put into lockup for a nickel). But what are you confused about?
Are you confused about whether you should attempt to have a relationship with somebody who's going to be surrounded by more bars than 100 rappers on Canal Street in New Orleans using Verizon cellphones? Let me tell you, sister, that's not a relationship. That's a situation where two people don't have the opportunity to grow and evolve (no Gatorade) into a fully functioning unit.
What you should do is accept that he will not be your boyfriend and keep in touch with him if you want to. It seems like you really like him and I'm sure he's a great guy (once again, except for whatever he did that got him a 5-year bid) and maybe after his debt is paid, you all can revisit any feelings that exist, assuming they still exist. Do not underestimate how much physical contact plays into the execution (no pun intended) of a real relationship. He can't hug you when you need a hug unless its during the weekly visitation period. Dating a jail-bird is hard work. It requires more commitment than you might realize and it's something you shouldn't walk into blindly. There's no prize for being the "ride-or-die" chick. Plus, you're robbing yourself out of the opportunity of meeting and dating somebody who you can actually hump on Wednesday, i.e. Hump Day.
Basically, you're confused about what has the potential to be the worst kind of long distance relationship: one where you can never full make up. So if your confusion is about a relationship, you might want to put that one on hold. If it's about the fact that you fell for a guy going up north...well, stranger things have happened.
It was written.
don't do it.
hes going for FIVE years, thats more than enough time to stir up problems in jail and maybe even get MORE time.
plus thats a horrible way to start an exclusive relationship
if it were meant to be...he wouldnt be going to jail.
maybe he just came into your life to give you hope and keep you going til you meet the real one?
Do you use Rembrandt or Colgate Strips?
Plus, he might not be the same person when he gets out of jail . . . getting raped by your fellow inmates can really change you, you know, make you angry.
so wednesday is hump day?
no wonder i've always loved wednesdays!
if you're cute I'm available for at least a couple of weeks
i started dating someone who went to jail... a month into our relationship, while he only went for six months or so, it was rough! they are in jail so they dont have regular freedoms that i didnt even realize were freedoms. you cant talk whenever you want, its timed, limited, letters, seeing each other through a computer or whatever is also timed, limited and monitered, along with everything else! it was deffinitely a GREAT amount of work. do not go into it blindly, i thought months was a long time, years is going to be very hard to deal with.
Unless you have a very, very serious relationship I wouldn't even think about it. It would cause so much hurt if you eventually cheated.
My fiance spent 2.5 years in prison. We have been together 5 years now, so it was half of hour relationship. However, we did everything in an odd way and lived together since the first week together.
I will reiterate. IT. IS. TOUGH. You will cry all the time, feel completely alone. He won't always want to be happy and lovey-dovey during calls (which cost you a fortune) because it is MISERABLE in there. Trust me, it is not an easy task. Out of everyone he met in there, I was the only girlfriend that stuck around. It is almost a given in these situations, you really go against the odds.
What the hell kind of a "question" is this?
At least the answer was well-written and helpful.
Hold on. My fiance is facing 5 years. We have been together for 4. I have endured MUCH heartache from the point we met. It is hard. But if you two really love each other, there is no question. You should hang in there. Your man needs you now more than ever. I've even been thinking about cheating. But my heart won't allow me to do it. I love this man. God will see us through.