Highly doubtful. If my eighth grade science teacher taught me anything, it's that opposites attract. The fact that your major is the polar opposite of his is part of why he was drawn to you in the first place. If he wanted to be with a physics geek, he'd walk up to his lab partner and say, "Wanna see what happens when two sexy objects in motion collide, baby?" All day he's surrounded by science nerds discussing quantum mechanics, complex equations, and whether or not you can actually travel through time by getting a DeLorean up to 88 miles per hour. At the end of the day, he wants to veg out out on the couch with you and rip on annoying Project Runway contestants. Your world could not be more different than his right now, and he loves that.
While it's true that people in the same field gravitate towards each other, more often than not we fall for someone who is in a completely different line of work. It keeps things interesting, and makes it easier to separate your work life from your home life. He probably loves that he's a science geek dating a fashion major. It's like the premise for a bad '80s sitcom.
Also, if he had feelings for his friend, he would have made a move already. Clearly he's already decided that she'll be a friend and colleague. And she won't be the last. There will be plenty of women in his field who might seem like competition. Trust that if he tells you that he's happy, he's happy. Hopefully he's a trustworthy guy who isn't a cheat. And if he is, it won't be because one of his friends happens to be in the same profession. Besides, he probably knows that his friend is in love with him. Does she flirt openly with him? If she makes you uncomfortable, tell your boyfriend. Or, better yet, confront her about it. Worry less about whether or not he'll develop feelings for her and more about the fact that she's scamming on your boyfriend. But in all honesty, the fact that you're with him and not in his field means you've already won the battle.
While it's true that people in the same field gravitate towards each other, more often than not we fall for someone who is in a completely different line of work. It keeps things interesting, and makes it easier to separate your work life from your home life. He probably loves that he's a science geek dating a fashion major. It's like the premise for a bad '80s sitcom.
Also, if he had feelings for his friend, he would have made a move already. Clearly he's already decided that she'll be a friend and colleague. And she won't be the last. There will be plenty of women in his field who might seem like competition. Trust that if he tells you that he's happy, he's happy. Hopefully he's a trustworthy guy who isn't a cheat. And if he is, it won't be because one of his friends happens to be in the same profession. Besides, he probably knows that his friend is in love with him. Does she flirt openly with him? If she makes you uncomfortable, tell your boyfriend. Or, better yet, confront her about it. Worry less about whether or not he'll develop feelings for her and more about the fact that she's scamming on your boyfriend. But in all honesty, the fact that you're with him and not in his field means you've already won the battle.
Opposites attract? Technically, sociology says otherwise.
I can understand the argument that having different interests "keeps it interesting", but I feel like that's not usually the case. I find that if anything, it keeps it boring and/or frustrating. How are two people supposed to stay together if they don't have similar interests? What are they supposed to talk about? This may not apply to this relationship, as they could easily have a lot in common besides their majors. But if two people don't have generally the same interests and beliefs, they're not going far. I've never been attracted to someone simply because I'm "fascinated" by their interests that have nothing to do with mine. And I've ESPECIALLY never been attracted to someone just because their major is different. That doesn't really seem like a rock-solid foundation.
i completely agree with nick on this one, my bf and i are complete opposites, but that's a major point of attraction. he's an aerospace engineer and i'm a political science major, but we benefit from our differences. the reason why we mesh well is because our strengths and weaknesses are opposite. there's less competition between us and we have a lot of respect for each other too, so the end result is complementary rather than clashing.
the thing is, two people can have different strengths and interests but can still work together well, as long as they go well with each other.
really, i think that's something people who oppose the "opposites attract" notion fail to consider-complementary personalities. it's like peanut butter and jelly- two very different substances, but when combined, they work out pretty well. you can be very different from someone and still work well together, as long as there is a mutual respect between the two of you and your strong personality traits balance each other out.
fashion major- your boyfriend chose you for a reason. there was a key element, a chemistry between the two of you that drew you together rather than he and the other physics major. keep that in mind. don't view your differences as a weakness, but rather as a unique and individual strength, and if he physics major woman continues to make you uncomfortable, make it known to your boyfriend.
great response, nick!
Thanks. You can have plenty of similarities with your significant other than just career goals. If you have other stuff in common--and that magical, undefinable thing known as chemistry-- the fact that you have divergent careers shouldn't matter.
But don't just take my advice. Heed the words of Paula Abdul and that smooth cartoon rapper MC Skat Kat:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xweiQukBM_k&ob=av2e
See? Opposites do attract. (Did you know that MC Skat Kat released an entire album in 1991? Yep, that's a thing that happened.)
Worst. Pick up line. Ever.
Nick's last bit of advice is great, but I agree with M in that I know lots of teachers that ended up with teachers, lawyers that ended up with lawyers, musicians that ended up with musicians, etc. People with similar interests are often attracted to each other...but it could also be that people with similar interests hang in the same circles and are not only more likely to meet, but are more likely to have similar lifestyles too. So you don't have to have the same career interests, but you also don't have to have different career interests just to keep things "interesting." Some people like their jobs and like being able to talk to their partner about their jobs, and having a similar lifestyle is often essential. In that respect "opposites attract" isn't a guarantee for a happy relationship. I feel that there is always a very real chance that anyone could fall for anyone at any moment...but only if they really aren't happy in their current situation. Best to trust and have faith in yourself, and talk about anything that makes you uncomfortable in your relationships.
"Opposites attract" definitely doesn't always hold true. But will the guy start to develop feelings for his friend just because they're in the same major? Doubtful. If he's going to develop feelings for her, it probably won't have anything to do with the fact that they both study physics. If it did, he would already be dating her.
My bf is in law school and I am in another grad program. In addition to my bf, a lot of my friends are in law school--and NONE of them want anything to do with their classmates. Think about it, if you're in a relationship with someone you see everyday at school, who do you vent to?
"Or, better yet, confront her about it."
Tell me you're joking! There's no better way to convince your bf and his cronies that you're a crazy GF than confronting one of his friends! That's weird. They aren't accountable to you--your bf is!
Those girls who study fashion are usually cuties. He's probably with you because you're a cutie. He'd probably be with his female physics friend, but she's probably not interested in him. Or who knows, maybe he wants babies in the future, but he he knows his physics pal aspires to do research. Everyone knows research and babies don't mix.
Opposites do not attract. I'm working on my Ph.D in psychology, and if there's one thing that I've seen stressed over and over again, it's that opposites do not attract.
Having different careers or majors does not make you opposites, and quite frankly, your college major or job generally has very little to do with relationships. Typically the biggest influence job or major will have is that those are the people you spend a lot of time around, which often leads to friendships or relationships. For example, I am with another psychologist, and I met him in school because we were in the same department. However, we have many similarities and that is why we are together.
Nick himself mentions that you can have plenty of similarities aside from career, but then persists in stating that opposites attract. It seems as if you are implying that job/major defines whether you are "opposites" or not. False. Your personality, likes and dislikes, and the things that you do are what define if you are opposites or similar.
The letter writer is obviously insecure regarding the situation because she wrote to an advice column about it. My advice is, since you are insecure and especially because this girl is "in love" with your boyfriend, you need to discuss the matter with him and perhaps request that he limit contact with her (for example, not seeing her outside of an academic/professional setting). If she is in love with him as you stated, and this fact is known to you and your boyfriend, it is inappropriate for him to be spending time with this girl (especially without you) anyway, especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
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It's not universal, but I am also a physics/math major and have been dating an Art/Psychology major for the past four years. I started to notice this more that I do prefer girls outside of my own arena because to me it keeps things interesting and the focus is much less on school in conversation. I love that I don't have to explain anything I've learned to her unless she truly wants to know it because I would hate to discuss quantum mechanics with my partner.
She had to take calculus when she was doing pre-med and explaining everything to her became a nightmare (definitely not cut out for teaching, seriously trying to improve). She would say "That's not the way the teacher did it"...so annoying. Anyway, never again. I feel like it's one of those things that either works or doesn't. This girl that try as hard as I might to start a conversation with in a class of mine we have literally nothing to talk about and she's a geology major with a huge interest in theatre/arts, but I can get along just fine and keep the conversation flowing with just about anybody else.
The only part that sucks is the selection of grad schools. That is one heated topic between my partner and I at the moment. She wants to go to Kentucky for Art Therapy and I would rather much go to MIT than set foot anywhere near Kentucky as a physics grad student.
Numbers are the Supreme Court of science. However Godel proved that we may not prove everything using numbers. Physics needs numbers. There must be Physics Foibles.