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My boyfriend is a very funny man, but for some reason he has been very quiet around me. Why is this?

I think a lot of guys (and humans, for that matter) see romance as very serious business. We all saw The Notebook. We all saw and loved A Walk To Remember. In our minds, that's love: longing looks, poignant sighs, and inevitable terminal disease.

Being funny--to some funny guys--is something you do with friends, in a group, or to flirt. It's putting on a show; being an entertaining sumbitch so everyone will like you and give you things for free (or at least at a generous discount).

After you've been dating for a while, a guy can feel like it's okay to relax a bit, or even worse, that it's somehow inappropriate to make light of the tender flower that is your blossoming love.

Which is lame, because nothing takes the edge off like sharing a laugh--in bed, around the house, over the phone, at the expense of people uglier than yourselves. You know, all the classics. Try cracking a joke of your own the next time you feel like laughing. Nothing encourages funny like more funny. It's contagious, like poignant sighs and inevitable terminal illness.

There's no end of options for you. Watch a funny movie together. Quote South Park at him. Tickle him in bed (assuming he doesn't fly into a homicidal rage when tickled, which is sometimes the case with dudes). Compliment his sense of humor. Go to a comedy club for date night. Pump nitrous oxide into his room. All fine options, and most legal!

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7 Comments

user-pic

How hilariously fantastic that you say to quote South Park at him. I adore South Park and am not opposed to quoting it. Good thing it's not looked down upon.

nightantics75

Poignant sighs and inevitable terminal illnesses are always what I pursue in love. Oh yeah and the prospect of a homicidal rage whence tickled, another one as well. lol

VKnoxville

zomg you DO look like Ellen Page!

user-pic

So how does this jive with your "girls, try not to upstage your funny guy" post? I was kind of wondering how serious you were about that anyway.

Michael Swaim

Honestly, I feel like a lot of folks missed the point of that one. Everyone read the first half and glossed over the end bit where I say "OR don't do this, because the key to making a relationship last in the long term is to be yourself, no matter how challenging it makes the dating process." The point I was trying clumsily to make is that changing your behavior to please others will always have quick results, but doesn't make for a lot of stability. Being true to yourself makes it harder to find a match, but the matches you find tend to be healthier, and last longer.

user-pic

*raises hand* I kept reading and I got it!

user-pic

You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be really something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complicated and very broad for me. I am looking forward for your next post, I will try to get the hang of it!

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