I'm not sure if it's his health or his looks you're worried about, but let's go with health. Especially since either way, you're still doing the same thing.
The first thing you need to do is sit down with him and explain that you want him healthy and alive. Ask him what's been going on in his life that he's putting on weight. It could be job stress, family problems, any number of things. It can really be as simple as the fact that he doesn't have time to get lunch or breakfast and has to buy crap to get through the day.
Next, it's pretty simple: you go on a diet together and start going on gym dates together after work and on the weekends. It's a lot easier to lose weight when you've got somebody supporting you, and making dates requires you to be there. Similarly, when going places, walk, don't drive, go on dates where you bicycle around your town, and so on. Anything that lets you fit in exercise into your day is good.
Something to remember: as people get older, they're going to put on a little weight. It's just a function of metabolism. Keep that in mind.
Sorry Dan, I’m throwing a bull$h!T card on “…he doesn't have time to get lunch or breakfast and has to buy crap to get through the day.” You don’t have to buy crap, when you are short on time. You can just as easily buy something healthy over crap. It’s possible that he is comfortable in his environment or he is just plain lazy. Sure you can help him.., but make sure it doesn’t come across as nagging. Guys tend to dig their heels in the ground there.
I'm not sure why this has a minus score... It seems pretty spot on to me! I know I'm certainly guilty sometimes of taking the easy route instead of the difficult one with food. I suppose it's because it's aimed solely at men, when really all of us can be guilty of this. It really isn't the hardest thing in the world to shop well and eat right, but it does take a little more effort and sometimes doesn't seem that appealing.
And the nagging thing is so true. When my ex turned into a lardass, I spent countless hours trying to get him to cook something other than pasta and meat, or to go for walks with me, or just take care of himself. Unfortunately, his mother had rung the same tune for years, and it just made him revert to being a teenager and do nothing about it. Now, with my current lovely adult-minded partner, we talk about the issue directly. Nagging about behaviour never works, but talking about it honestly and openly does, if you have the right kind of person to talk about it with in the first place.
"I don't mean to offend you, I love you very much, but I've noticed you've put on a bit of weight. Have you noticed too? Are you happy about that? Or would you like to start swimming with me or keeping our calories a little more in check. I've been meaning to join the gym, how about we do that together?" You know, all that sort of thing. Talking, not nagging, is always the way to go.
Thank you Mouse, most people don’t want to hear the truth. It’s sad we are the heaviest nation in the world & a pocket full of excuses to show for it. In the end it’s about choices. We can choose a bag of Doritos & an Xbox controller or an apple & an evening walk. The choice is ours…
"Healthy" options from many fast food joints barely fit the term. I have plenty of healthy options because I live in a major city and work from home: somebody with a job in an office park may not have nearly as many options.
Ya, I've been there haha. From 5-14 I was very fat, 15-20 I was in amazing shape, playing U21 National Football (Canada, barely the equivalent of Tier 1 Highschool in the US haha.) Then combo of a daughter to raise and working full time I got overweight again. Now, at 27, nearly 28, I am back to great shape after two years of hard exercise. For me I just have an insanely slow metabolism, I eat very well, as little sugar, salt and red meats as I can get away with. I am the kind of guy who can eat a salad and gain two pounds haha, but you just have to exercise, exercise, exercise! Some people have those amazing metabolisms where they look great even though they drink all the time and their idea of dinner is a box of Mac and Cheese and a bag of chips, but most of us are mere mortals. Exercise is necessary for everyone regardless of body fat %. My fiance has a super metabolism, looks amazing but hasn't been to the gym since highschool haha and my physical test results are usually far superior to hers even though I weigh more than two of her combined (yes, another large man with a tiny woman cliche, enjoy).
RP gave wonderful advice.
Just talk to your bf about starting a healthier lifestyle together. That way he won't feel personally attacked. Chances are he's already noticed he's packed on a few extra pounds. (Trust me, I'm always the first to know when I've gained weight.) And he doesn't really need you to point that out.
Just be nice about it...the same way you would want someone to be nice to you if you were struggling.
I think that its important to look good for your partner. Everybody should make some effort to exercise for good health and wellbeing. Just speak to him about it. My bf doesn't hold back!! I've always been skinny but as I am getting older I can't rely on my metabolism and I need to maintain my shape by working at it. He is the first person to tell me my ass is getting flat, that i'm losing my legs, that I need to work on that cellulite or i'm putting a belly. Initially i'm like "what an a**h*le" but then I realise that yea he's right and yea he means well. Knowing that he finds me attractive probably makes it less of a blow that he's SO honest about other things. So maybe keep that in mind when you broach the subject with your man. We go to the same gym - its very motivating to have someone there urging you on..PLUS it makes it harder for you to talk yourself out of going because someone else is depending on you to be there. For me the hardest part is gathering the motivation to GET to the gym - once I'm there it's like I never wanna leave! Going together will make that easier. Find some great recipes for healthy eating, use a healthier method of cooking food - surrounding yourself with good foods means you have no option but to eat those - having bad foods in the house are only a temptation. I always bring a packed lunch to work even though my friends say its geeky - otherwise I would just end up eating crap all day at my desk.
I was not one of those who negatively ranked you but I think it is more the bluntness of your words rather than your message. 'Calling the bullshit card' etc might not be looked upon favorably by people reading your post. What you are saying is partially true, but to find a truly healthy meal on the go is very difficult. Most fast food chains, even most 'healthy' alternatives have loads of carbs, calories, sugars and salts in their food. Low fat is great but if someone lacks exercise the carbs and sugar will become fat anyways. Many fast food places are trying to be a bit healthier but the food is still pretty gross when you get all the details. Vegetables, and natural foods are the best option but nearly impossible to eat properly on the go, I spend probably an hour and a half every day making the food I will eat at work and on the go. Many people just do not have that time, I also don't but am willing to sleep less to exercise more and eat better.
Point is, it is not nearly as easy a choice as you made it out to be, so people who struggle with weight problems or have insanely slow metabolisms like myself but don't have the time to make healthy meals and work out might take offense to how dismissive you are of a real and usually bothersome issue.
I am not trying to make excuses or tell people it's alright to just let yourself go either. It's really hard to start getting in shape, to eat better and stay that way trust me, I know very well the mental and physical toll it takes. Getting healthy is very important for anyone and as I say below, it does not matter if you are skinny or large, if you do not get exercise regularly you will have health problems down the road.
Also, Mouse, no need to call anyone who is slightly overweight a lardass. Extremely disrespectful.
I hit reply to silkysly but it decided not to. Oh well.
It sad, but I think we sometimes need bluntness. I could sugar coat it, but the message gets ignored…, trust me, I’ve tried. I get so frustrated people looking at me, thinking I have a natural high metabolism, like I don’t understand. SO NOT TRUE.
I use to be heavier & made excuses daily for my thickness. I work long hours, I have kids, I don’t have time, It’s too complicated, it’s hard to eat smart, etc. I was just lying to myself & others around me. When I stopped making excuses & started making healthy choices, the weight came off. My exercise was just walking in the neighborhood after dinner. (I had zero support & was also battling depression.)
Today there is a nation of people willing to encourage you. I use MyFitnessPal.com to stay on track. The community support is awesome. I’m sure there are other sites out there with the same support network.
As for fast food chains…, they now have salads on their menu, some even have fruit. I don’t have sugary snacks in the house anymore, I keep apples, pears & cheese sticks on hand. The smart choices are there.., you just have to look a little harder for them.
http://fatthenfitnow.wordpress.com/2011/07/20/getting-older-is-much-better-when-we-are-fitter/