Two years with a nice guy and no fights? That is one of the more unusual complaints we have ever received.
Ever been in a high place, looked down, and had the momentary urge to jump? Just to see what the fall would feel like?
Or sitting and talking with good friends and had the brief urge just to haul off and hit one of them for no reason at all? Just to see what would happen? - Eh, probably not, in this case.
Most people have had these impulses from time to time, and there is always a reason behind them. A little wistful mental testing of the status quo.
You are bored.
One or the other of you gives in to the others wishes. You subconciously feel that you know what he is going to say or do in any situation. The battery is a bit flat and can't give you the spark it used to. Either that or you both come from Midwich.
This is totally normal. One attribute both sexes share equally is to be able to take something, or some one, for granted after a while. It causes flat spots in every relationship, and they do seem to come along about every two years.
Some conflict in a stable relationship is healthy. A bit of nervousness. The little surprises that remind you (and him) that "Hey, there is another real person here!" But you both have to get slightly out of your comfort zone to do it.
Holidays together work, but are not essential. Do something different together. Something that one of you is a bit reluctant to do. Tickle him until he can hardly breath while he is watching TV. Have him give you a foot massage while you sing to him.
Rediscover the fun parts of both of you.
Not a fight in two years? Really? Is he in a coma?
Thanks to the questioner! I have the same thoughts often, and it's been weighing on my mind (especially since we've been talking about marriage)... I'm glad to hear that the answer wasn't "dump him."
I had the same problem- I was dating a guy and we never fought, never even bickered. Soon I realized it was because we never really had any emotional conversations and weren't passionate about each other.
You can't have anything to fight about if you don't communicate.
I noticed that you didn't mention if you love him or not. I was in a similar situation with my ex. We never fought in nearly 3 years. Things weren't a problem, but I soon realized that I didn't want my life to be that way. I ended it and it was a good thing since we both discovered that although it was nice to hang out, we are better off as friends. I hope things work out for you.
If you're bored, try doing new things together. I mean things neither of you have ever done. It releases dopamine. And oxytocin.
OMG I can't believe the comments! You all are SURPRISED they haven't fought in two years? You think a lack of fighting means a lack of passion? I've only ever been in ONE fight in all of my relationships, and when that happened, I knew it was time to end it. I don't tolerate drama. A serious discussion is one thing, even a heated debate is fine. But fighting and bickering is so petty.
I can't believe anyone would use a lack of fighting as a symptom for bad news in a relationship. Wanting to leave for no particular reason is definitely a symptom of boredom. But are you all so used to fighting all the time that you think it's a GOOD thing??
Thank you! I always here people saying that all healthy relationships include some fighting but I am like you, I never fight in relationships. Everything you said was spot on I'm glad to find someone who agrees :)
I think "fighting" is a broad term. Disagreements are more than fine, even heated ones.
For me, fighting, I guess, is an immature way of disagreeing: yelling, "the cold shoulder", and/or contempt. I'd accept a petty fight, but NOT if it lasted longer than a few minutes or involved physical violence. And definitely dump him if the fighting is constant (for me, that would be *about* twice a year, esp in the early stage!), lasts too long, gets too disrespectful, and/or is always about the same things. I think a willingness and ability to work things out & willingness to accept fault is extremely important, and a fight can show you these things.
I suggest you spice it up a bit (take ballroom dance lessons together or a romantic trip) and marry him.
Lol, are you advertising in your tags?
Felt like having a play on the holiday idea, since that is always recommended for spicing up the flat spots.
Umm.. I actually do get the urge to jump.. and I hit friends for no reason a lot... and I keep wanting to break up with my boyfriend like the girl who posted this question. I laughed when I read the first few lines of Mystery Man's reply. Is there a disorder for this or something? What's wrong with me?
No disorder - we all get it sometimes. Just part and parcel of being human.