Absolutely. What a tool. It's not just the rude comment that's a problem, but the fact that he would ever think that insulting you is an acceptable way to express himself or motivate you. He sounds either very young or very dumb. Or both.
Your weight is none of his business; commenting on it makes him sound like a condescending, dominating jerk who thinks he deserves a say in how you look. If you had gained an extreme amount of weight in a short time (which you haven't), then maybe--maybe--he might have reason to mention it to you, but even then, how about a little tact for the woman you claim to love?
People who have gained weight don't need to be told they've gained weight--they are acutely aware and dislike it even more than you do. A boyfriend chiming in with the obvious--"Hmm, you've gained weight"--makes him look like a jerk trying to bully and guilt you into doing something about it. Which you were already planning to do anyway, but hey, thanks for the insult, jackhole.
To have an issue with your partner's looks is almost always driven by selfishness. It's about you, not them. You want them to change something so that they will be more pleasing to you. Is your guy concerned about your health or just how you look on his arm? Is he afraid someone might think he's--gasp!--dating a fat chick? (Not that you are one; it's just an example.)
We all want our mates to look good, and we want to look good for them, but other concerns trump that. Your partner's self-esteem should be infinitely more important to you than the fact that she might have gained 5-7 pounds over the holidays. If you aren't mature enough to understand that, maybe you shouldn't be dating.
No one would blame you if you dumped the guy, but what you decide to do is your choice and your business. At the very least, I think you should make it crystal clear to Cap'n Dumfuk that comments like that are disrespectful and unacceptable.
Don't stand for it.
This answer is absolutely on-target. The pie tag made me giggle. :-D
Plus, 125 lbs at 5'7"? That sounds pretty bang-on to me. I'm about 5'7" myself, maybe a little less even, and have weighed more than that. Even at my heaviest, I was still told that my curvy bod was hot. There is no way 125lbs could be considered unattractively obese (unless you're dating someone with a severe anorexia fetish or something)
Haha I'm the submitter and the pie tag is soooo true! Today I just looked at him and informed him he'd lost about two inches of bicep since we've started to date. He shut right up.
I'm the submitter and the tag line about wanting to eat a whole pie is so true!
Things have been bad for awhile between us, so I showed him the door yesterday. He got pissy and told me "good luck finding someone else with those thighs!" I informed him that he'd lost a good four inches of biceps since I started dating him. He shut up.
Good riddance. That parting shot just proves he's an asshole. But we knew that already.
I'm 5'7 and I have been at 170. I am in no way fat since most of it is in my ass and bra. But still, good for you for dumping that trash. What the fuck is wrong with people?
Seriously, who does this guy think he is? It's never okay to pick on physical attributes like that -- never. You think he's bad now? Imagine getting pregnant and listening to what he has to say about your body then.
"Good luck finding someone with those thighs?" GRRRR! Makes my blood boil! So glad you dumped that loser.
Great advice, Cary!
Trash! good on you for dumping him. I was once told exactly that -- 'I really like you but I'm afraid that my friends would laugh at me for dating a fat chick'. Never talked to him again. Asshole. The parting shot was tres nasty. Good luck to *him* finding someone again with that attitude
So glad to see this question/response - I've had two guys in the past year I dated pat me on the stomach and make pregnancy jokes. Sure, even my Mom later noticed I had a pooch, but these guys were just getting to know me. It made me even MORE self-conscious about my weight. It was horrible, and it is absolutely no wonder things didn't work out down the line. Also, I thought I was the only person to use "jackhole" outside of a production company I saw for the Man Show. Thank you. :-)
Honesty is always the best policy. Yes, the truth may hurt, and can be an eye-opener (and maybe sometimes unnecessarily spoken), but at the end of the day, if it's having an impact upon the relationship, then it needs to come out. Holding it in, no matter your take on the matter, can not be good for the long-term success of things.
If weight is a priority for him, and this does not excuse his behavior as noted above, then you need to know it! Would you prefer to live a lie?
Now, ask yourself honestly, are you overweight? How is your lifestyle? I'm not asking if you're a beanpole, and skinny in some unhealthy manner, but is your height-to-weight ratio something that would be considered the norm in the 70's (I discount anything since the late 70's and early 80's, as that's when high fructose corn syrup came on the scene and Americans started plumping up (need proof? just look in your old yearbooks))? If you can honestly say that you're not... then so be it. Tell him he's being unreasonable, and that he needs to go find some skinny-minny somewhere else.
But if you can't honestly say that you're a healthy-eating, physically fit person... (I'll let it hang at that)
You're boyfriend should be telling you he sees you as the most beautiful girl in the world. You deserve to treated with respect and love and if he won't do that you deserve better.