Ah, yes, the Great Size Question, a favorite of insecure men around the globe. Nothing like being put on the spot, huh? It's the male equivalent of, "Does my ass look fat?"
It's an annoying question, I know, but not uncommon. A recent study found that almost half (45%) of men questioned were dissatisfied with the size of their penises. But the same study also showed that a majority of women (85%) are content with their partners' penis size, so clearly much of the problem is in men's own heads, if you will forgive the pun. Like many things with guys, it comes down to ego.
That discrepancy brings us to the real question: are you satisfied with/by his penis? If so, then that's your answer to him: his schlong is perfect for you and gets the job done. Take the emphasis off size and address the real issue, which is sexual satisfaction. Big, small, who really knows the diff, you can say (not a lie; see next paragraph). All you know is that he gets you off. He might suspect that you are dodging his question, but too bad. He shouldn't ask it if he already knows the answer.
The whole penis size issue is a murky one, anyway. There's flaccid versus erect; some guys are showers, others are growers. There's width versus length. There's cut versus uncut, and varying sizes of women's vaginas. One woman's "small" is another woman's "huge." And then there's the old saying about how "it's not the size, it's how you use it." The only thing that really matters is whether or not you are both satisfied with your sex lives.
Some people would advise you to lie and tell him he's big when he's not, but I think that's unfair to both of you. If he fits you just right and satisfies you in bed, then you can tell the truth and make him feel better about himself at the same time. Everybody wins.
If he doesn't satisfy you in bed, then you have bigger issues to address than a wee winkie.
(A big shout-out to all my Facebook friends, male and female alike, who helped me decide how to answer this question. Thanks, everyone.)
hahaha @ the tag "is it in yet?"
Oh my!
My recent ex pulled this on me!
He was getting down over himself and blamed his penis size on his inability to give me an orgasm. Truth be told, I have never received an orgasm from vaginal intercourse, much like a high percent of women. When I explained this to him, he retorted "Well maybe if I were bigger!"
In fact, he was the smallest I had ever been with. But I never thought it was small. It was average. And even if he didn't get me off, he was my best sexual partner I had ever had. My previous sexual encouters were always painful because my partners were TOO big for me.
He kept egging me on and on about it, how if he was bigger he could give me an orgasm, until I finally blerted out "I've had bigger! And it hurt. And the sex was terrible. I have had the best sex with you."
Unfortunately, I had not thought about what I said. I was so irritated by the fact that he couldn't get over his penis size. He was crushed. He took it personally, even though before this conversation, I had told him how much my past sex life had sucked because of all the pain I had experienced. I never told him he was small, or he was the smallest (which was true but I never was going to let that on). He could not accept that size wise, we were a perfect fit.
I believe his obsession with his penis size accounted for his own personal misery. He broke up with 3-4 months later, claiming that he thought I 'deserved better'. I only wish he had realized that his insecurity was false, and I thought he was a fanastic lover.
The best way to handle this is to shriek and begin to run away when you see it. Let him catch you, though.
Tell him that you used to date Jonah Falcon, so all penises seem small to you.
If he's asking this, I think he is just feeling insecure and in need of a bit of reassurance. He has eyes (I assume!). He can see how big he is or isn't, as the case may be. I agree with Cary. Say he's just right for you---that is the best answer to this question.
haha, I love that one of the tags is, "is it in yet?". Very good advice!!
Thanks, Reesie.
Her boyfriend might find this interesting. Posted, appropriately enough, by Peggy Wang.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/peggy/the-authentic-womens-penis-size-preference-chart
Man, I wish I hadn't looked at that. :-(
Interesting. Where's my ruler?
I'd like to see where the information for that chart came from. It seems slightly ridiculous. 7 1/4 inches in circumference and 11 inches in length is enjoyable? I know I'm a small girl, but holy... I'd run and hide if I saw that.
Okay who ever wrote that chart is either totally full of shit, or has no idea how to measure.
One of those wrist cuff blood pressure monitors only goes up to 8 1/2 inches around for fucks sake! I even Googled it: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FK1V2Q
Durable pre-formed wrist cuff; fits 5-1/4 inches to 8-1/2 inches in circumference.
And that's for a wrist, there can't be that many guys out there packing a pecker thicker than a wrist.
OMGoodness, what a totally selfish question. Because no matter what you answer, it's going to result in a LOT of ego padding/healing.
If you said, "Meh, I've had bigger..." you get a pouty, moody guy for weeks, and he'd NEVER get over it. That sort of truth would cut him to the bone, and for the rest of the relationship he'd be trying to compensate. You could be sitting in a restaurant weeks later, enjoying a meal, and say something innocuous like, "Do you want to get dessert?" and he'd spit out, "I don't know...do guys with small dicks GET dessert??" followed by a dramatic throwing down of the napkin and a flouncing out, possibly with slammed doors and shouted arguments in the parking lot. Yeah. It happens.
If you said, "Oh, sweet Jeebus, it's sooooo big!" then every time you orgasm (or just partake of a little slap and tickle), he'll puff up like red breasted robin and do an end zone dance with a "That's what *I'm* talkin' bout!" thrown in for good measure.
Because he's not just asking about the size. He's asking about his WHOLE manliness. You hear, "Is it big?" . In his head, the question is, "Am I man enough to satisfy you so you'll moan with pleasure every time The Little General salutes? Because clearly I have MANY issues with insecurity, and this is the only way I know how to bring them to the fore, by asking about my dick."
Remember: a guy's doodad is not just another body part to be coped with, like our boobs or our bajingos. It's a representation of Who He Is, How He Is Seen, and How Manly He Can Be With Da Chicks. It is his Little Me, so to critique it is to critique him in total.
If someone said something unsavoury about my tits, I wouldn't take it personally because I can't control their size or shape. And my tits don't reflect my soul or character. It's just not the same with a guy's pecker, and therein lies the difference.
I solved the problem VERY early in my relationship with my man: the first time I ever saw The Little General, I said, "Damn, that's a big cock!" Smooth sailing ever since.
Yorkie, you're awesome.
An amusing answer for sure, sweeping generalizations and unsubtle misandry notwithstanding. I laughed.
If someone said something unsavoury about my tits, I wouldn't take it personally because I can't control their size or shape. And my tits don't reflect my soul or character. It's just not the same with a guy's pecker, and therein lies the difference.
Fair enough Yorkie, but what if guy after guy said he needed to tie a 2x4 across his ass to keep from falling in when he was with you?
You'd be pissed and rightfully so.
That's how dudes are with our cocks. We don't want you you to tell us it's the hugest thing you've seen other than the Space Needle, but don't be fricking heartless about it either.
Everybody is self-conscious, and the person we are with sexually is someone with the power to hurt us deeply.
If she gives him the truth and makes him feel badly, he can always retort back to her a saying that i heard recently on a radio show.
"when I am inside you, I feel nothing."
He's obviously insecure about it, so I agree - why make it worse by admitting that he's below-average or lying and saying he's big? He knows he's not huge; he has been in locker rooms and has seen porn.
What he is really asking is, "Is my penis big enough for you?" Your answer is always yes! Is it a dealbreaker? Are you going to break up with him over his small peen? If not, why feed his insecurities and foster a complex? You want him to feel secure and appreciated in your relationship, right?
He needs reassurance, so give it to him. Tell him he's big enough for you and that's all that matters. Don't humor him if he wants to know how he stacks up with your former lovers. It is perfectly acceptable (and preferable) to laugh it off and say, "Sorry, that's classified!" if he asks.
i had a man who was like this, totally insecure. he wasn't the largest but a good size and perfect for me. he totally rocked my world, but no amount of me saying that would satisfy him. now if any man asks me that, its outsville for his insecure ass. i do not want any man that has to even ask that. and vice versa i will never ask a man if my but looks too big. i already know that it is!
guys, there IS such a thing as too big so effin get over it already!!!!
Confidence people. THAT is what is sexy. Not apologizing or worrying. Just lovin' it.
I want to be facebook friends!
I find the more I look at pornography the smaller I think my penis is. I think porn has given men a very unrealistic idea of what will satisfy a woman, much like it has with women and big breasts. If your man is insecure it's probably because when he had his penis in your mouth it clearly wasn't causing you to gag. If you're giving him a bj, pretend that your mouth is too small for his massive member. When he puts it inside you, maybe complain a little about how it's too big. Beleive me, he won't question you. Men will beleive the lie if it's about the size of their penises.
Although my guy has never outright asked me if I think he is big I can tell he is self-conscious about his size bc he is kinda on the smaller side. However, he ALWAYS more than satisfies me. So, I do what I can to build up his ego by telling him how amazing he is, how perfect he is, and how much i like exactly what he is doing at the time. I constantly let him know I appreciate what he does, without bringing up what he has. I even call him "The Man" when when we are getting in the mood. :) He may not be the biggest of guys, but he really is good ;)
Yorkie,
Your answer is the best yet...and so true.
"I don't know...do guys with small dicks GET dessert??"
That cracked me up.. freakin' hilarious !!
You're assuming that she is satisfied by him. What if she isn't? What if it is a tad too small for her? What does she say then?
Oh, did I? Shucks. Perhaps I should've said something like:
"That discrepancy brings us to the real question: are you satisfied with/by his penis? If so, then that's your answer to him: his schlong is perfect for you and gets the job done. Take the emphasis off size and address the real issue, which is sexual satisfaction."
Or...
"The only thing that really matters is whether or not you are both satisfied with your sex lives."
Or even...
"If he doesn't satisfy you in bed, then you have bigger issues to address than a wee winkie."
I have the same problem and to be honest telling him a lie you'll regret it for the rest of your life but if you tell him the trust he'll feel alot better that your being honest with him .. trust me it works :) ♥
There are no small dicks. There are only loose vaginas.
Ok People,
This is an age-old question that has been addressed many hundreds of years ago. If you read the ancient texts of Kama Sutra they talk about the three "types" of men and women.
Men: hare, bull, horse.
Women: deer, mare, elephant.
Yes, this is what you think it is: the size of our genitalia.
So the man should be equal or greater in size than the woman. That's what this whole debate is about my friends. Even in the Kama Sutra, they say that if you marry a partner that is not the right size for you, it will result in a disastrous relationship.
So it's not a big deal if you have a small penis. You just find a grl with a small vagina!
I dated a girl that hated sex with me because I caused her vagina pain. (I actually loved this, but she dumped me anyway.)
But girls that are dissatisfied with their partners lack of size, you need to find a "horse man". You simply have a larger vagina and you need a corresponding penis.
Lying to your partner will not do anything. I have heard over and over from girls "oh, you are huuuuuuge!" I smell that bullshit every single time. I don't mention it, but it annoys the hell out of me and it really makes me despise the girl. You can be sure your guy is going to know when you're full of it too....EVEN IF WE DON'T MENTION IT TO YOU.
When you are inside her, you can feel the friction. This is the only way to determine "is it big enough."
And when it feels good and tight, the man will feel great about himself. You won't have to say a damn thing. He's going to see and feel and know.
And if it's a loose fit, then part ways and find the right girl for you.
I know that sounds harsh, but GUYS, you are going to be a lot happier with a woman that makes you feel big because she is small.
And GIRLS, you are going to be a lot happier with a guy that makes you feel small because he is bigger than you.
There are other categories too: PASSION (how turned on you get and vigorous you are in the sack) and TIME (how long you like to do it).
It really does suck to be with a person that doesn't match you in all these categories. The American idea of "well we love each other so we'll figure it out" does not satisfy the desires we have.
I have had sex with close to 50 girls and I have only once or twice found a girl that matched well with me. Unfortunately those girls weren't my "fit" outside of the bedroom.
But the point is this: You don't have to worry about your being small or big or whatever the difference is.. You just have to find someone that "fits" you in all areas. And then you better worship that person like a god or goddess.
Or you can be dissatisfied and miserable with someone else's person.
The Choice Is Yours!
Ask him if he would rather be ur best at sex or the biggest dick. Fake some pain when u have sex make him feel big
1
He's asking if she's ever had bigger n better. It happens. It's tough to be compared with another guy and be in second place. Guys can tell by the answer. Most of the time size isn't really an issue until a guy's been compared by a woman and lost. Big doesn't mean huge. Big is just fulfilling and better than what she's had before. Women don't realize this initially because they're the ones being persued and the guy is trying to impress.
if this lets me answer a post, i came here randomly...boring night at my place.
i have not read all the comments to this post, only the main question and first answer from the size doctor guy (sorry for not quoting ur name, you know who you are homey!)
my advise is, of course don't lie, no one likes lyers.
but seriously, throw a little lie out there, tell him its a one eyed cyclopiean monster in your dreams, you think its amazing
and the reason i say this is because, itll make him feel like the coolest best most accomplished dood there is. you might have the best sex for the next couple of days, just because you told him its huge.
it doesnt have to be, but if you pretend and do it well im sure he'll find your answer just as alluring...if not more so, as the way you "TRIED" to make him feel big.
i think that guys ask this question in hope that they will feel bigger, not because they really care. most often times u gotta realize, ur stuck with ur size no matter how big...its ur dick! your not going to chop it off cuz its small haha.
so something like a "size" question, i think its more for you to take advantage of the opportunity, make him feel good because he loves you and you love him (if thats true) and im sure he will reward your effortFULL answer with some passion and love and maybe even some new found adventures, in your sexual place.
he knows how big he is every time he gets a boner, he's just looking for you to give him a little boost of confidence.
just like the homey said "does my ass look big?" question, how many times do you ask this and get a nice answer.... and how many times - when u get the nice answer, do you have a nice rest of your day ... maybe even week! because of whoever you asked the question "does my ass look big" answered it nicely and perfect for your satisfaction...
so if you enjoy his size, let him know and call him big hunky thick doofus or something.
i just hope that with my response, any man you attempt this trick on - does not become some greedy power hungry scum and turn it into a .. weird place instead of a happy place (my word "place" pertaining to the sexual experiences ONE would have in the bedroom).
anyways, thanks for listening to my response, i hope it helps!
imagine asking your lover "does my ass look big?" and then imagine a few different answers
a) no it looks fine honey dont worry
b) your ass is perfect, it looks so hot right now, please dont make me think about it any more than i am already?
c) yeah but its only the pants
SOMETHING to that extent, and just imagine which response you prefer the best to your question....if he asks you about his size again, sit back and think about it for 2 minutes, put some heart in it and see if it affects your bedroom experience or lust with him in general.
might as well give that a shot then rather saying, sorry honey, the guy that i got it on with when i just turned 18 makes you look like a baby carrott!
yorkie nice job on that smooth sailing trick, now thats some pure genius. if i had a girl say that when i took my pants off throbbing...id so remember to give it to her wayyy better than any other girl i know