Why do you even care?
The dude had a life before meeting you - so damned what.
Ain't none of your business unless and until he wants to talk about it, or if he picked up a hitchhiker from one of his old flames. Show some damned respect here. You want him to get all up in your business?
He'll talk when he is ready and no one - not even you - has the right to pressure him.
Live chat with the guys tonight here. Be there and I promise I will bring my best insults.
When I'm dating someone new, I ask about their past relationships, not to pressure them, but because I do not want to make the mistakes his exes did to ruin their relationship. Just my two cents though.
A sweet sentiment. Still, though, if someone doesn't want to talk about their past, then it should be left at that. A good way to ruin the relationship is being nosy, just my point of view.
I ask too, but not to see what the "woman did to ruin it" but to find what happened in general, as theres always two in a relationship, that said, yeah not many guys like to talk about the exes, so let it be.
" Be there and I promise I will bring my best insults." hahaha love it!!
She is probably still in high school, Myst.
Possibly. But I've seen this in much older people too though.
also lets us know if you're still hung up on an ex and how you generally talk about them, are you on good terms or do you call them all crazy - alarm bells!
Alarm bells are potential partners who snoop into your past after you've said you don't want to discuss your exes.
If he never talks about them in the first place, wouldn't the issue already be solved?
OP- you said that he admitted to you about two previous girlfriends. Like were they criminals who you felt he was hiding, or lepers perhaps. Was there some wrong doing that he needed to confess to? Wow. Maybe his definition of what a past girlfriend differs from yours. I have forgotten about guys I once dated. No big deal really... they just never left that big an imprint in my life I guess.
If a guy pulled this snoopy detective shit on me I think I'd lose him.
Yeah - think that is what bugged me the most about this question. It just feels undignified.
I think he should want to tell you everything about his past, present and futuree. I would be sketched out if my boyfriend wouldnt talk to me about his past. Even if its something I disagree with I would still want to hear it. Why can't he just be truthful, what does he have to hide?
How to lose a guy in ten days.
Amen, Jan!!!
Also, by compelling him to spill every little thing about his past, you may cause him to open old wounds that may have been healed a long time ago. If he wants to talk about it, good, if not, respect his wishes, or you'll wonder why he left you...
I grew to appreciate my new man's "the past is the past" perspective because the reality is what we have found together ... the rare and remarkable that we are enjoying is a gift ...a diamond in the gravel. The past simply brought us to our present.
Amen Suzy Q - I totally agree! Talking about one's exes or one's romantic past with a current partner is definitely not the soundest approach available. It has the potential to be a sad path to lingering resentment and heartache. I learned this the hard way. I always believed that by being honest and open about one's past, you could educate your current partner about what relationship pitfalls to avoid. Talk about dumb moves. In exchange for openness about each other's pasts, we inherited a wealth of jealousy and resentment on both our parts. Arguments erupted about not measuring up to whatever ex we were throwing into the mix that day. Foughts were had over why ex so&so was a better listener, a better lover, etc etc. It honestly was awful.
This time around (and even though I'm dating someone who has been a good friend for a long time before it became romantic) I'm glad that he's always reminding me that with us what counts is the here & now along with the future. We both keep each other grounded in today and what we're currently building/developing together. And to his credit, as soon as I even become slightly nostalgic about something in the past, he just changes the subject or kisses me and ...that's the end of that.
I can understand wanting to get a feel for the kind of relationships he's had in the past - how serious they generally were, how long they generally lasted, that type of thing. Hence, if the opportunity comes up you ask him broad questions about that. But why are the exact numbers, people, and stories important, and for that matter why are they any of your business? That just seems stalkerish. The past is the past for a reason. You know he's been around the block a few times; do you really need specific addresses?
There are things you don't wanna know, trust me. My boyfriend and me used to be bestfriends before we started dating and I know WAY TOO MUCH about his exes, their sexlife, generally stuff that now that I'm his girlfriend I wish I never knew...
Yeah, I can see how that would make you feel weird. Sometimes, "what you don't know can't hurt you" really does apply.
It works both ways--I've done some pretty wild shit in the past that I'm sure my current boyfriend would be happier not knowing about.
Now, this may or may not apply to your case, but I recently had a conversation with a guy friend about this particular topic and I thought what he said was quite interesting... him and his gf were having the same fight, but the reason he wasn't forthcoming about previous relationships was because he DID NOT want to know about her previous dating history. He thought by opening up about past lovers would only make her do the same... A bit old-fashioned, yes, but I can see his point. He then said, "I don't want to picture my girlfriend sucking so & so's d*ck. As soon as I hear about an ex that's immediately where my head goes." Just a thought. :)
Well here's my take on this subject my ex and I were together for thirteen years and have a child together who is about to turn eleven. He has a new girlfriend and I found this out through Facebook. I don't have Facebook so it wouldnt be so ready for her to know my business like that. But since they have been together we've had sex a couple times but yesterday he called wanting top get back together....so I brought up how I think his girlfriend had been caking my phone with an unknown number and he told md that was impossible because he had never even told her about me....so tonight it was really bugging me that wd were together for 13 years and he's never even so once as mentioned me to her. it really blows my mind that we were together for that long and he hasn't said a writers about it to but posts pictures of them together all over Facebook. Then sit and claim he don't love her and wants me back. Men are so weird....I just don't get it.
Well here's my take on this subject my ex and I were together for thirteen years and have a child together who is about to turn eleven. He has a new girlfriend and I found this out through Facebook. I don't have Facebook so it wouldnt be so ready for her to know my business like that. But since they have been together we've had sex a couple times but yesterday he called wanting top get back together....so I brought up how I think his girlfriend had been caking my phone with an unknown number and he told md that was impossible because he had never even told her about me....so tonight it was really bugging me that wd were together for 13 years and he's never even so once as mentioned me to her. it really blows my mind that we were together for that long and he hasn't said a writers about it to but posts pictures of them together all over Facebook. Then sit and claim he don't love her and wants me back. Men are so weird....I just don't get it.