Yes.
Look, I'm not a huge fan of Valentine's Day, either. Most guys aren't, truth be told. We all know that the holiday would have faded away years ago had the sellers of greeting cards, flowers and candy not adopted it as their own Black Friday. But my wife is a fan, and that's what matters. I do it for her because she likes the gesture. I mean, sure, it's nice to have an excuse to send her flowers and a card, but I would just as soon do that on some random day when everyone else in the world isn't doing the same.
Still, the day is important to her, so I do it. She doesn't like me monopolizing the bedroom TV at night playing Call of Duty, but she lets me because I enjoy it. Good relationships are all about compromise. Also, I don't want her to be the only woman in the office who doesn't get flowers. Good or bad, there's a competitive aspect to the holiday, or at least a desire to show the world that you are loved. If that's important to my wife, why would I deprive her of that? She is loved, and I don't mind saying so publicly.
If you tell your guy that celebrating Valentine's Day is important to you, that should be enough for him. How hard is it to send some flowers and a card? It's not, and that's why his refusal to do so is silly. I think he's being selfish, and I don't blame you for being annoyed. He has a lot to learn about accommodating a partner. You're telling him exactly what you want; it doesn't get any easier than that.
Thanks for the question.
Ask your boyfriend if he believes in blow jobs.
I just love this answer....classic!
My boything and I are both cynical old farts, but we've compromised by having our own personal valentines in March. That means chocolate and restaurant tables are much easier to get hold of and it feels like an extra excuse to celebrate our lurve rather than a 'ho hum that time of year again' sorta thing. Maybe you could do that!
I'm not a fan of Valentine's Day. Can't help it; I never was. The whole cheesy, forced aspect of it annoys me a ton. My new guy, however, is somewhat of a romantic and will probably at least get me a box of my favorite chocolate or flowers, despite that I've already told him I don't like Valentine's Day.
Then again, if you're not a very new couple - who doesn't love an excuse for a weekend out or good dinner followed by good sex?!? I'd do it a few days after/before Valentine's though, to avoid the rush of other couples.
Awesome Cary...you are the kind of guy we all hope to have someday, if I may say...
Someone who does what they can to make their partner happy...not holding the holiday hostage when he KNOWS how much it means to her. That's douchey.
But I gotta say that I like Rach's response too....
Thank you!
not a real big fan of the day myself, though my girlfriends are frequently accusing me of being too much like a guy sometimes when it comes to dating. i am the chick who will never get mad if you don't make a big deal out of valentine's day, but if you do something romantic on February 13th or 15th i will be over the moon. last year the guy i was dating was very sweet about it, sent me this beautiful little scottish lament, or something, i don't know. it was nice, and different which stood out in itself to me. my girlfriends were all, awwww and i was like, what is the matter with you people? followed by, oh shit, does that mean i'm supposed to get him something? this is exactly why i don't like this day, too many expectations. some people just aren't that into it, but if he's into you, AND he knows you are into it, i agree, he should do something. i can see how that if you've never been with someone on valentine's day it might feel more important, so just communicate that to him. maybe next year cut him a little bit of slack at least where his slack is concerned, but this year it means something more to you than usual, so i think he should make an effort. and if you let him know that it's important because you want him to be your first official valentine, maybe that will send the message without making him feel too much pressure.
I have come to accept that it's not about my significant other but about me having fun, well in my opinion anyways. My boyfriend thinks that Valentine's day is not important either and he said "why treat a woman special for only one day?" So you know what I do for Valentine's day? I spend it with my friends and go out to all these fun events (plays, burlesque shows, ballroom dancing etc) that are happening around that time. His loss he didn't want to take me out for fun. You should take the day to enjoy yourself and treat yourself well since he doesn't want to celebrate it with you.
I was always a huge fan of Valentines Day, but as I have gotten older, I have to agree with funny....do something nice for your loved on a day that everyone else isn't doing the same thing out of obligation! I also agree with him on the fact that this day means something to you then yes he should make it nice for you!
Price of flowers is always up there right around these sorts of things, the idea of having your own day like Valentines is an awesome one ^_^
I think a guy who avoids Valentines day with a girlfriend just really isn't that into her. Sorry but true. If he's into you he'll get in the spirit of it all no matter how dumb and manufactured it is - because he WANTS TO PLEASE YOU.
Any guy that that disses it as a crummy day for companies to make money is a cheap ass who doesn't care much about you. How friggin hard is it to pick up a tiny flower bouquet from somewhere for cheap? Not very...a guy who displays avoidance and protests it from the hilltops is covering up for the fact that he's just not that into you.
I'd bet the first chance you're bf gets with his next woman (who he falls head over heels for) he'll treat HER to Valentines Day.
If you have to apologise, then it probably doesn't need saying.
I'm really not sure of anyone who LOVES this holiday...clearly the comments show that. Well, except for my best friend who is a florist, LOL. But yes, my boyfriend and I have talked about it, and he will probably send me something. I guess it's pretty important to us, because we are in a long-distance relationship. We both groaned about it being a Hallmark holiday.
FYI: Let him know you can get two cards for a $1 at the Dollar Tree. Hecukva deal. If not, then yeah...he's just not that into you.
Thanks so much for answering my question! After explaining how much it meant to me, he agreed that we could do something. However, over the past few days he's hardly replied to my texts, and when he does reply it's a few words, nothing more. I'm beginning to think he just doesn't care about me all that much. I'm meeting up with him tomorrow and I'm going to see how he acts in person. If he acts weird and dismissive like he has been via phone/internet, then I'm going to ask him what's going on! I am seriously stressing out right now.
I swear to God, I'll post this on my ex boyfriend's FB wall.
We were toghether for 12 years, followed by an on/off period of "just" 3 years more. He didn't believe in Valentine's Day, he dindn't believe in marriage, he didn't believe in having children yet (yet?). At last, it turned out that he didn't believe in me, but was "too scared of not finding anyone who loves him the way I did" to let me go.
Now, this guy I have been dating for just 2 months is planing a whole weekend to celebrate our first Valentine's Day together.
He doesn't answer your texts, well, he is giving you his answer: he doesn't love you that much.
Cary, your answer made me cry you are such a good hb when it comes to this. My bf and I got into a huge fight over V-day and we might even break up because I made the mistake of nagging about it and he made the mistake of not even being open to a comprimise. Whenever he comes over he hogs the TV and I let him cause I love him. He is very flaky but I forgive him 'cause I lovve him. I forgive him for everything and I comprimise for him. But he doesn't want to comprimise for V-day. We've been dating for 10 months and have only been out to dinner (alone) 3 times. And once to the movies. I've had lots of roses and gifts but when it comes to going out togeher it hardly happends. I feel enormously deprived and I feel V-day could have made up for it but this guy feels forced to do something with he resists by not doing anything. I think we might break up over this. I eveb suggested (just an hour ago) to have him come over the saturday following after the 14th, so I could give him a Valentine's day experience. He said he had to think about it because he is done with me. I am a beautiful college student with a job on the side. I really think I deserve better. I need to find a man that thinks like you.
I'm probably the only girl in the world that hates Valentines Day, mostly because it's fueled by greeting card and candy companies. Also love should be shared all the time by couples, not just one day a year and it makes it feel not so special when everyone in the same country does it all at once. Kind of makes it too materialistic too. I rather do an after V-Day type of day instead and make it special with my guy, so that the love is shown as special and not generic like a card.