Quite honestly, that might be one of the strangest things I've ever heard. I'm guessing you do all the initiating when it comes to sex, kissing, hugging, and basically all the activities of daily living.
This sounds like a pretty passive-aggressive statement to me. He's putting the ball in your court-of-affection, always. And who wants to be the one always making the first move. Of course, if you're perfume of choice is something like Sex Panther or something than perhaps it makes sense. However, since that last sentence made no sense, this doesn't either.
This might be one of those times where it's okay to read too much into a statement. What I take from this is that you're boyfriend is indecisive and doesn't like being wrong. Why do I say "being wrong?" Well,if you always decide when you kiss, then he doesn't have to risk going for it when you're not feeling it. I'll bet he's allergic to Vegas, isn't he?
If I were you, and thankfully I'm not, I'd just never kiss him again and see what he does. He's your man so he will want you to pour some sugar on him at some point.
Make him work for it. Walk around naked and do chores and see how long it takes for him to make a move. I mean technically you're making a decision for some lovin', but he might not recognize it as such. Either way, more naked time is better for the environment.
Thank you and good night.
That a really wierd thing for a guy to say, but that might just be me; I personally love making the first move with a girl. Research (and by 'research', I mean women who get me drunk and try to take advantage of me) suggests that assertiveness is damn sexy.
Now, because I'm all about broad generalisations, by the time you're thinking about planting one on the lips, you should already *know* if there's chemistry. There's a sparkling in the eye as you look at each other, flirtatious exchanges, butterflies in the stomach, and (unless you've misjudged the situation horribly) nobody gets maced in the eyes.
In any case, your guy either has a crippling fear of rejection, or he's allergic to making any effort. If it's the latter, you should probably call it a day, unless you enjoy frustrating relationships and indecisive men. If it's the former, it's probably something you can help him through if you're so inclined, which would make you a better woman than I. I'd make a terrible woman; I haven't got the legs for it.
"nobody gets maced in the eyes." lol that'd be a good ending to a night!
I'm not dating this guy but he told me something like this a couple months ago. At the time I was being indecisive about kissing him (forgot the exact circumstances) so he told me I can decide when we kiss and if we kiss. So we haven't kissed yet (his fault) but I really hope he didn't mean that even though it seems that way. And I'd like to point out that my perfume of choice is "Sex Panther" lol (no, not really)
Sex Panther? I've gotta tell you, that smells like pure gasoline!
"nobody gets maced in the eyes." lol that'd be a good ending to a night!
I'm not dating this guy but he told me something like this a couple months ago. At the time I was being indecisive about kissing him (forgot the exact circumstances) so he told me I can decide when we kiss and if we kiss. So we haven't kissed yet (his fault) but I really hope he didn't mean that even though it seems that way. And I'd like to point out that my perfume of choice is "Sex Panther" lol (no, not really)
$20 on him being gay.
haha, make it $30 and you've got yourself a wager! ;)
I can come up with a few reasons why he might have said that.
1) He was burned in the past in a relationship with a girl that he really liked and her complaint was that he was always too aggressive/never let her decide/pushed her into things she wasn't ready for. So now he's trying to be "chivalric" by letting you set the pace of the relationship.
2) It's a religious thing. There is a small movement going on where the couple wait for their first kiss until they're wedding day. My mother did that when she remarried and almost made it. In my step dad's words: "By putting off the intimacy, they were forced to spend more time talking about themselves and less time doing things and therefore they got to know each other better before getting married." I don't know what I think about this, it's kinda odd and yet kinda courageous in a day and age where we feel we have to test out everything before we marry. He might have that kind of a background but is understanding that you might not. So he's letting you set the pace.
3) He just plain old thinks he's being a nice guy by not pushing you into things you aren't ready for.
Essentially, he's trying to let you be comfortable with the pace that your relationship develops; letting you know he's not going to push you until you tell him you are ready from any perspective.
Take it as a good sign and go talk to him about it! You might find out some interesting things about his past.
Peace.
I think Laje Kahr got it right with #1: this guy's advances have been shot down in the past, so he's got a confidence thing. So go ahead and kiss him, making sure to let him know how much you like kissing him. Once that is established, try the 90-10 approach: begin like a hug, make eye contact, get all up in his face, then stop. Let him close the distance. If your intentions are perfectly clear, he won't have anything to worry about.