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My boyfriend told me he had a dream he was having sex with a classmate of his. I asked him about it, even though I really didn't want to know. Then he told me! Why would he do that? Should I be worried about this girl?

Why would he have a dream about having sex with another girl? Because dreams are a magic fantasy world where your wildest urges are played out without regard to taboo or conscious control.

Why would he tell you? Because you asked him.

Is that...do you really not understand those things?

For the most part, guys don't read too much into things. If you ask him to tell you something, he'll shrug and tell you about it. When you get upset later because you wanted him to know that you actually DIDN'T want him to tell you about it, he'll get that weird look on his face and a huge fight will ensue. Hence the plotline of every sitcom ever.

Blaming someone for having a dream isn't just uncool, it's insane, and an invitation to neurosis. I don't know what y'all dream about, but us men dream about having sex with women. Often. And guess what? You are RARELY a featured player. Sometimes the featured players are people we would never want to have sex with in real life, and sometimes they have bees for heads and are covered in mud.

Dreams are dreams; they be crazy. Trying to tie everything that happens in a dream to something real in your relationship is a quick ticket to breakup and the loony bin. Cut it out. If your man is having a sex dream about a classmate, yes, it might mean he's attracted to her sexually. But he's also attracted sexually to at least a dozen women he sees every day. And that's always been true, but he CHOSE you. Be confident in that.

And in the future, if you don't want to hear about your bf's skankalicious odysseys through dream-sylvania, don't ask.

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17 Comments

Mannon

Dreams are just dreams; you fall asleep, some Alice in Wonderland shit happens, followed by scene changes that make David Lynch look like a wood carver. They rarely make sense, and you don't have any control over them.
I'm pretty sure I've had, at some point, a sex dream involving almost every woman I've known, whether I found them attractive or not. I always remember just waking up and thinking 'wow, that was wierd!' It's really not something to be worried about.

meiggs

I agree. Dreams really can't be taken at face value. Anyone who has ever looked in a dream analysis book knows that what we do or see in our dreams has a deep/convoluted/bizarre message from our deep/convoluted/bizarre brains. It's important to remember the the conscious and subconscious brain function in different ways.
For example, I had a dream that I had sex with the white Power Ranger, and then we drove go-carts. Would that be awesome in real life? Probably. Am I going to track him down and do the dirty? No. If you ask some dream analyst they would probably say that I miss my childhood, and that the go-carts symbolize frustration with my work.
Also, don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to. That is particularly irritating and 100% on you if it sparks a fight.

Mannon

Also, don't ask questions that you don't want the answer to.

I really can't stress enough how spot on this, in particular, is. I can't think of a single time this has worked out well, for anyone. It's the elephant in the room, only you let it in.

grayeyeddame

I don't agree with dream books at all... hose things are full of so much BS the pages should be chocolate brown... if someone dreams about a clown, maybe they just think clowns are creepy, or maybe they like them... dream definition books cannot possibly work because nothing means the same thing to everyone... just thought I'd throw my opinion out there on those...

meiggs

Oh, I absolutely agree. I probably should have finished with the fact that I'm fully enjoying adulthood and I love my job.
I do think that our dreams have more than just the superficial meaning, just because our brains our so complex and our unconscious mind is usually up to no good. I also agree that the meaning of what we dream is definitely subjective.

grayeyeddame

lol yeah I had a friend who lived by a dream dictionary in high school and nothing ever made any sence but she tried her best work it into her life... was actually sad lol

user-pic

Well I really. Am digging this boy he flirts with me and tells me he loves me but how do I really know he's feeling me to.

grayeyeddame

even when I really reall really want to I often don't get to have a sexual dream about the guy I want to... it always ends up being someone like Scott Bacula or someone else I am not even remotely attracted to...

Note: I do now find Scott Bacula insanley attractive since I have seen in from an on-my-kitchen-table perspective

IrishRugby2

Sexual dreams dont always mean someone wants to have sex with that person. Go to a dream dictionary. There's different meanings behind dreams... sometimes a pen is not just a pen.

Megan

I have a lot of sex dreams. More like orgy's. Orgy's of a size that would make Caligula blush.

I have issues.

user-pic

Very few people even dream in a lucid manner. Rarely do we control our actions in our dreams. Some dreams may be us living out fantasies while others are just our mind sorting out the junk of the day.

I've fallen asleep after sex thinking about work stuff and end up dreaming about having sex with a co-worker who I don't find remotely attractive (and then avoid them for a few days until the vivid dream memories fade away). Does it mean that secretly I'm attracted to that dude...Nope. Just my mind being weird. Big deal.

If you can't handle the answer, don't ask the question.

Liz

I had a dream once that I was in a bathtub full of bubbles wearing a party dress or a towel or something keeping me from being naked and there were two really hot guys in there with me giving me the hairy eyeball (but nothing happened, le sigh) and then I fell through a waterfall of shampoo and woke up. I tried to tell my sister and she looked at me like I was a complete headcase. I think it's one of the funniest dreams I've ever had. But it's not like I regularly think about having threesomes in my bathtub and swan-diving down a pink waterfall.

So I think Swaim is right. Sexual attraction is this helpless, animal thing. But love is commitment, and he picked you, so don't worry so much. You'll get wrinkles.

Stella

Dont worry about it, its just a dream and We cant be held responsible for what our minds do in REM ! I've had dreams about strangers, even my Ex boyfriend whom I have no desire to have contact with. So don't read too much into it.

user-pic

I NEVER minded him having those dreams....... in fact I think it's healthy and it doesn't hurt anyone. But for God sake please don't tell me them in detail. I don't ask!!!!

user-pic

My boy friend had a dream about fooling around in bed with a co worker of his and I didn't think anything of it because she's nothing to worry about but then I found out he emailed her and told her about it n they were making lol flirty jokes about how it was a good one and she would say it was the best dream he'd ever have....would I be crazy for being upset by that or is it nothing to worry about she used to date my boy friends friend from work

user-pic

My boyfriend told me he dreamed he was haveing sex with my sister..idk what to think!!!

user-pic

My boyfriend told me he dreamed he was haveing sex with my sister..idk what to think!!!

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