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My boyfriend told me that when I'm telling him my problems, he really doesn't care. He told me that it's my problem and I should fix it by myself. I mean, why wouldn't he? That's one point of being in a relationship, right? What does he simply mean by that?

What he's saying is that he's a jerk and that you should dump him.

Not directly, of course, but realistically, if you're in a relationship, one person's problem is the other person's problem as well. Basically he's saying he doesn't care about your life, just what you can do for him.

So find someone who does care. You'll be a whole lot happier.

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3 Comments

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This sounds really generic. Does your bf say that about all your problems or just this one specific one? Honesty hurts, but sometimes, people, regardless of how much they care for you, are not going to actually care about every single issue. So the choice is to either pretend on the ones you don't really care about or be honest. And of course, everyone loves honesty until they hear something they don't like, then you're a horrible person.

Abi Kinsella P

This has less to do with honesty and more to do with INSENSITIVITY, Kamakula. Let's turn it around -- here's a scenario for you: sick boyfriend, horrible patient (no offense guys, but you know who you are -- some of you make horrific patients when you're ill), endless whining about how terrible he feels, needs a steady flow of love/concern in order to feel like someone cares that he's ill, but instead --- candid girlfriend says: "I don't care about YOUR problems, fix this by yourself!" Wouldn't feel too good for the boyfriend in THIS scenario, right? But, according to your logic, who can blame her for being honest.

Truth is -- when you sign up to be a part of a DUO - that means there's an unspoken agreement that you'll have each other's back and offer as much support and wisdom as necessary for your partner to overcome what they may be going through. If it sometimes means biting your tongue because you've heard their endless whining or self-pitying, so be it. Love and even basic care and concern for the person you're committed to is supposed to overcome that sort of pettiness.

RP hit the nail on the head on this one.

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Remind me, how is he your boyfriend? I mean, wow, you're still with him even though he doesn't seem to do anything for you, but sex maybe. Where does one even find such a low maintenance woman? HereI thought I had to be a GOOD boyfriend or a GOOD husband, by listening to her concerns and problems, and maybe even helping her, when all I had to do was find a woman willing to stay with a guy who couldn't give a crap about her life lol.
Okay now that is out of the way, leave him! A good partner is supposed to be supportive. As long as you aren't constantly draining him, he should at least listen. Heck, that's been more helpful than trying to fix the problems. Just sit there and listen, and he won't even do that! You really need to get a better man lol, sure, you probably love him, but his actions say "I don't love you too".

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