Is it weird that you don't want to have anal sex? Nope. A lot of women don't like it in the pooper, and a lot of guys don't want to put it there. It's quite common, actually.
Is it weird that he gets angry when you refuse? No, but it sure is selfish of him. Look, it's your body, and you have the final say about what gets put where. Of course you want to please him in the sack, but there are limits. Every couple has things that are off the table in bed. Anal sex just happens to be one of yours, and there's nothing wrong with that.
What if you decided that biting the hell out of his balls turned you on? Do you think he would go for that? I doubt it. And if you kept biting them anyway, do you think he'd get pissed? I do. That's no different than him trying to get you to take it in the bum. Just because one thing is more socially accepted doesn't mean you have to agree to it.
If the only time you discuss anal sex is when he's trying to do it, I suggest you bring it up outside of the bedroom. Sex is an intense activity, and we aren't always at our most rational or forgiving in the midst of it. Talk to him about it at another time and place when you both can be calm and reasonable, and just tell him that you're sorry, but you aren't interested in anal sex and you'd like him to stop pushing you to do it. No pun intended.
If he loves and respects you, he will honor your wishes. If he doesn't, stop sleeping with him until he can respect you and your body.
I say again -- it's your body. Do with it what you want and don't let anyone guilt you into doing something you don't want. You are allowed to say no to anything you don't like, and homey needs to sac the F up and get over it.
Totally agreed here. I don't care what it is he wants to do, it's about respecting your partner and if he keep harping on the subject and trying to make her feel bad, then he needs to go or STFU.
Maybe his persistance is just a thinly veiled attempt to get you to reciprocate without his having to come out and ask. Next time he suggests it, just reach into your nightstand and get out some toys to use on him. If he is totally turned off by the idea, he should see where you're coming from and back off. If he's into it, the toys should provide ample distraction from your "No Fly Zone" and you're still off the hook. But, I totally agree with Cary, it's all about respect, no matter what you're in to.
It's also a great way to get Hepititus.
It's a gift that keeps on giving!
Indeed.
This just disgusts me...not so much the act, but your boyfriends behavior. That is intolerable - I cannot believe what an insensitive prick he is (being). I agree wholeheartedly with Cary - stop fucking him until he learns some respect.
Thank you.
I would have to break up with him if he can't respect you and your wishes.
"I suggest you bring it up outside of the bedroom. Sex is an intense activity, and we aren't always at our most rational or forgiving in the midst of it."
This is awesome advice, and can be applied to many situations.
Thanks, Swaim.
yes, listen to the wise ass. as he is way more wise than ass...
this is all about your boyfriend's lack of respect - not about you pleasing him and what you will or will not do in the sack.
:)
Waaait a minute!
Is this the same guy who told us that if we don't like giving blow jobs we need to just suck it up? (hilarious pun)
How come when it's anal it's our body, but when it's our mouths it's something we have do out of love for our poor significant others? Did I miss something?
Yes, you missed the part where I said, "No one should have to do anything she hates," be it oral, anal, whatever. I think that refusing oral will be more of a problem for most guys than refusing anal, but that doesn't mean you have to do it. My advice is the same for both: don't do anything you don't want to do.
I agree! You should never do anything you dont want to do when it comes to your body. I also agree if you dont want to give oral you shouldnt have to. At the same time a point that should be made is...you dont like giving oral, but often times with anal it actually hurts. Basically sometimes its nice to do things you dont really like in order to please the others (guys probably dont like spending money on jewelry, but they do it cause they want to please their girl), however if it actually hurts, or you hate it then you shouldnt, and you NEVER should be made to feel guilty or bad for not doing something sexual.
And in this case...the boyfriend sounds like an asshole! Actually getting mad is just ridiculious! I love the line of the 'wise-ass' with talking about if biting his balls turned you on...maybe you should even use that line to make your point. Just saying...
You're right.
The difference here is the tone of the answer (little bit less forgiving to this guy than the oral guy), and the tone is different because this guy knows she doesn't like and tries to get her to do it anyway. The oral question didn't have the "he's trying to make me do it anyway" thing.
I think guys tend to push anal more than oral sex because of the lack of teeth in a girl's butthole.
Trust me if there was ever a possibility of a girl showing her frustration at butt-sex by chomping down with ass teeth like there is with oral, no guy'd ever push the subject again....or "accidentally" miss the right hole ever again either.
Whoa dude, I don't know who you are, but that was the most awesome comment ever.
And just because you haven't been chomped on with butt-teeth doesn't mean they're not there
_>
eww, shove something up him, loser! listen to them above please :-)
What if you decided that biting the hell out of his balls turned you on?
I actually laughed out loud.
Oh my gosh the ball biting comment had me roaring too...how hilarious would that conversation between them be if you were a fly on the wall ...what a way to bring a point home to a man.
In any case whoever suggested you bring it up at a later date when he is less likely to be really emotional about made a verg good suggestion. If he continues to put presssure on you and make you feel bad...he is just not thinking of you at all....time to reassess.
A friend of mine told her ever so insistent husband that she'd let him in her back door after he let her stick a carrot up his poop chute. Last I heard, he hadn't accepted.
Orrr if he buggs you again about it, either tell him "if you ask me one more time, then that obviously means I get to shove an 18in long and 12in in circumfrence sex toy up your bum." or "Are you gay?" (no offense) I promise you he will shut the hell up. Im in the same situation. I hate anal sex sooo much! It is the most uncomfy and most painful feeling I have ever experience! The pain of anal beats vaginal labor to me! Although I am looking for ways to make anal better for me (likely imppossssible!) so I can keep him happy. ( I tried a full 8 oz. Bottle of KY and it still hurts! Even booty plugs don't work for me!)I told him, if I can't find a solution for the pain, then we are sticking to oral and vaj. And that he cant complain. If he does then Im leaving with my baby and hope he finds a hooker that enjoys it.
Next time he tries, take a big dildo and start to shove it up his ass. See how he likes that. I have done all sorts of things to get anal including making anal bets with my girl, waxing my chest, the works. But in the end, it sucked. I had to go slow and then there was shit all over my thing. Too much hassle.
I knew this girl was a freak cos she loved anal and she rode me so hard and didn't hurt at all. She must have done it a lot. Then before I came, she hopped off and started sucking on my dick with her shit still on it. I was so grossed out that I didn't come and threw up a little in my mouth. Then I kicked the freak out of my house. No amount of sex is worth that kind of fucked up shit.
Another girl took a shit on my bed after that. She wasn't used to it, I guess. My mistake for coaxing her into it. I was so grossed out that I puked on her back right there. Then she puked and that made me puke more. I had to throw out the whole shit and vomit covered mattress. That was it for me. No more anal ever.
You are more forgiving that I, sir. In my book, NO means NO. Not "ask me again sometime", not "try to talk me into it," and certainly not, "but feel free to do it anyway." If you say no, the very next thing that happens should be him backing the fuck off. If he doesn't, or if he does anything without your consent... well, we have a word for that, and it rhymes with "grape".
You are more forgiving that I, sir. In my book, NO means NO. Not "ask me again sometime", not "try to talk me into it," and certainly not, "but feel free to do it anyway." If you say no, the very next thing that happens should be him backing the fuck off. If he doesn't, or if he does anything without your consent... well, we have a word for that, and it rhymes with "grape".
OMG MY BOYFRIEND SOES THIS TO ME TOO! YOURE NOT ALONE GIRL!
james!! your whole story made me LOL literally ...i was dying of laughter...sorry that you had to go through those experiences..i guess thats what guys get when they think they want to stick it up your ass....my thing is go fuck a guy up the ass if you want to put it in a butt....i have a vagina for a reasonnnnn