This seems to be a matter of trust, or, rather, total lack thereof.
Before you do anything, you need to talk to your boyfriend about the situation and see if there's anything he can do to help you trust him more. Maybe he needs to spend more time with you, maybe he needs to call you more often, steps like that. Try and strike a balance between allowing him some space and reassuring yourself.
But, to be honest, if you can't rebuild that trust, you will wind up breaking up with him. Relationships are built on trust and once that's shot, it's hard to get it back. But you owe to yourself, and to him, to at least try. Even if it doesn't work, it won't be for lack of effort.
there is a trust issue here that he caused, and talking to him no matter what the outcome will relieve this angst for you. you DO owe it to yourself. and do it to his face, because you will want to see the look on his face when he hears that you don't trust him. if he looks/acts devastated, he will do what he needs to do to bring that back and you guys have a shot. if he looks/acts defensive, give yourself one point for standing up for yourself and move on. does he know you can't get over it? If you can't get over it, you can't get over it and he can't change that about you, that's yours and you are entitled to those feelings. HE hurt YOU. It's his job to fix it at this point, and yours to make sure he does, or you will continue not getting over it and the longer this goes the worse will be the heartbreak if you don't deal with it now. because amit is right, you WILL break up at some point over this trust issue if you don't nip it in the bud right now. Sorry you are going through this.
I meant Dan is right, my apologies RP :)
I have told him to his face... and he felt really bad about it in the beginning but now he is just annoyed that I'm not over it. He thinks he has done more than enough to fix it.
I just realized my question actually got answered!!
I've tried for a year now to learn how to trust him again, and he definitely knows how hurt I am and that I can't get over it. The topic comes up... almost daily.
The thing is he is actually a great boyfriend, he is sweet and does all of the little things that every girl dreams of. I just can't get over the other girls and the cheating. I constantly think he's doing something behind my back... and I think I might be right.
Someone tell me what to do... do I need to break up with him? I realize that's probably what everyone would advise me to do.. but it's so hard. We've been together almost two years. Is there any way I am actually going to get over this? Or will it just always be between us....
I am going through this same situation now. My boyfriend and I have been together almost two years, and he cheated on me about a year ago. I still don't trust him, even though he's done his best to gain that trust back. Honestly, I feel like he can't do much more to help me trust him again, but I'm still not over it. I just stumbled upon pics of him making out with girls on facebook from a couple years ago (prior to us going out). Although I know I can't be mad at him for this, it reenforces my fears that he's a player and that he won't ever change. WIll I ever get over this?
hard question that, try and try again you get there