Any number of reasons. Maybe he's ashamed. Maybe he watches some really hardcore porn that he thinks you'd wouldn't be into or would find it disturbing. Maybe he's trying to disprove the recent study that determined that pretty much every man on the planet has at one time or another looked at porn. Or maybe he sees watching porn as his own personal time, and doesn't see it as something that could be a healthy part of his relationship.
For whatever reason (maybe his mom walked in on him in high school taking in a Jenna Jameson flick), he wants you to think he's the only guy in the world who doesn't know who Sasha Grey is. This despite the fact that, according to the aforementioned study, the average guy in a relationship looks at porn 1.7 times a week for at least 20 minutes. (What's the .7? Is that a margin of error to account for when he clicks off a porn site when his girlfriend/wife/mother-in-law walks in the room? Or when his Internet suddenly goes out?) Think about that for a second. Every guy you have ever encountered-- from your dentist to the guy who made your coffee this morning-- has watched porn. (Turns out swine flu isn't the only thing keeping the tissue industry in business.) The point is, he's not fooling anybody.
Look, some guys are comfortable and open with their porn viewing habits. Some still see it as illicit and creepy and secretly wish they weren't drawn to Googling videos and images of porn stars with names that sound like fancy town cars. You basically have two options here. One, let him continue to go about his porn habit and stop asking him about so he doesn't have to lie. Or, and this is what I would recommend, you need to offer to watch it with him and show him that you're okay with it. Actions speak louder than words, and he might not believe you when you say you are okay with him watching tasteful depictions of lovemaking. (Or crazy orgies featuring midgets and a former cast member of Saved by the Bell.) Otherwise this is going to keep happening. He will keep lying, and you will resent him for it.
Let him know that porn can be a part of your relationship, and he won't keep making it this big secret thing and deluding himself into thinking you believe his thin charade.
On a related topic...They really needed a team of scientists to determine that guys watch porn? Couldn't have put that trained team of professionals to better use? I could have told them that for a sandwich and five bucks.
For whatever reason (maybe his mom walked in on him in high school taking in a Jenna Jameson flick), he wants you to think he's the only guy in the world who doesn't know who Sasha Grey is. This despite the fact that, according to the aforementioned study, the average guy in a relationship looks at porn 1.7 times a week for at least 20 minutes. (What's the .7? Is that a margin of error to account for when he clicks off a porn site when his girlfriend/wife/mother-in-law walks in the room? Or when his Internet suddenly goes out?) Think about that for a second. Every guy you have ever encountered-- from your dentist to the guy who made your coffee this morning-- has watched porn. (Turns out swine flu isn't the only thing keeping the tissue industry in business.) The point is, he's not fooling anybody.
Look, some guys are comfortable and open with their porn viewing habits. Some still see it as illicit and creepy and secretly wish they weren't drawn to Googling videos and images of porn stars with names that sound like fancy town cars. You basically have two options here. One, let him continue to go about his porn habit and stop asking him about so he doesn't have to lie. Or, and this is what I would recommend, you need to offer to watch it with him and show him that you're okay with it. Actions speak louder than words, and he might not believe you when you say you are okay with him watching tasteful depictions of lovemaking. (Or crazy orgies featuring midgets and a former cast member of Saved by the Bell.) Otherwise this is going to keep happening. He will keep lying, and you will resent him for it.
Let him know that porn can be a part of your relationship, and he won't keep making it this big secret thing and deluding himself into thinking you believe his thin charade.
On a related topic...They really needed a team of scientists to determine that guys watch porn? Couldn't have put that trained team of professionals to better use? I could have told them that for a sandwich and five bucks.
Well, bravo Nick, now I MUST find out if any Saved by the bell cast members has ever done some porn. This will haunt me until I find out...
Joke aside, I think offering to watch a movie together is a great advice. Porn still has today that "alone and dirty" label while it can be a lot of fun as a couple activity.
Screech produced a sex tape ewwww. He tried to promote it on celebrity fit club ewwww.
Somehow, I had my money on Screech... Thanks!
The title is "Saved by the Smell." That's all you need to know.
My guy didn't want me looking at his porn collection (and whoooeee was it a COLLECTION!) which is fair enough. I said there was nothing that I would find weird (I'm into the erotic asphixiation of japanese girls, for one thing...) or judge him about, but he still kept trying to hide it.
One day when I wanted to watch a movie on his computer, I came across (hehe) all his stuff. Genuine accident. Type words into the search, then deleting them brings up ALL the material ever downloaded. Big wobbly women crushing tiny guys, was some of it. :) I was cool with that, because it's fantasy stuff, it's not real. But he was all embarrassed. Still is.
I think for a lot of people, having other people know what you splurged your manjuice over, alone, in the dark, is a bit embarrassing.
So I advise watching something new together if you don't want to make him uncomfortable!
I wasn't convinced about this Sasha chick, I'm an Ava Rose fan myself. And by fan I mean she's the only pornstar I know the name of (and she's the star of Carolina Jones, which is awesome in its hilarity.)
But then: Whooooo. WOW. (SFW)
You know why people want to take up smoking? Because of pictures like THAT.
I agree with Fembot! Get your own porno and tell him you have a surprise for him. He'll like it, I guarantee you that, and his stash can remain his private business. You have your own private fantasies that you'd rather not share, yes?
Oh, and I've seen parts of the Screech sex tape and trust me... it's a MUST MISS. *retch*
Good idea. Find something you can both enjoy together.
Fembot-- Tiny guys being crushed? That's a thing that exists?
I've always wondered why men feel the need to lie about certain things. It's as though they were taught as long as the reason for it is to spare the other person it's okay. As if even the smallest indescrepency will taint the persona they wish to show their girlfriend/wife. Case in point: My ex chewed tobacco our entire relationship. I asked repeatedly, he lied repeatedly, I knew it, yet he continued to lie about it. Although I hated the habit, I loved him, the lies upset me more than anything. For me, it meant he didnt respect me enough to tell the truth, a lot of women feel that way when lied to, even for something little.
We just don't want you to know that we're all big dirty perverts in human disguise. I mean, we know you all probably have your suspicions, but we don't want to be the ones to confirm it!
Seriously though, since adolescence, we've all developed a certain talent for hiding the evidence of our masturbatory indiscretions, and it's just counter intuitive to start showing it around. Think of a man's porn folder like you would, I don't know, what do women have? Diaries? It contains our dirtiest secrets, stuff we probably wouldn't even admit to our closest mates. You can tell, because it's often a hidden folder, with an obscure name, somewhere deep in the system files; places nobody would ever find even if they were looking.
Except mine; it's sitting on the desktop labelled 'PR0N'. But hey, I've been single a long time now.
Well, I hope you find someone that really rocks your world! Women can be just as obtuse as men when it comes to assessing people. It's a shame.
Or maybe you choose it - I don't know.
Rest assured, though. You sound like a nice guy.
I choose to be, but it's because nobody's rocked my world as yet. Relationships tend to distract me from other goals I'm working towards, so I'm not into having one just for the sake of having one. I'll meet someone eventually, but I'm in no rush.
I have been saying the same thing to myself for years. The person I will choose to be with will only add to my ability to achieve the goals I have set for myself. Not because of what they say to inspire me, but who they are inspires me. There are those who try, and although I appreciate the effort, it isn't what is said that matters.
It's more of a response from one to another chemically-
“I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.” - Roy Croft (only barely makes my point)
More times than not, relationships and negotiating the mine fields of baggage, IS a distraction - how comfortable you are in your own skin and how comfortable they are - sometimes it is easier to just not invest than to find out you invested in the wrong person.
My ex is a perfect example. I had to fight my way out of that one, and I don't want to have to do that again.
So here's to choosing the self! (raise glass)
It can be a great roller coaster ride on it's own.
Mind-blowingly so.
I enjoy a good bout of porn myself occasionally, with or without my man
I have never been into porn, because the men and women present themselves as one-dimensional which is a total turn off for me.
Except - recently I had to do some *research* for a project.
So I got out the discs I confiscated from my ex before the divorce was final.
I practically vomited. I had to turn it off. Dudes ramming their huge thick members down these girls throats - I probably shouldn't have been eating yogurt.
After I regained composure - I gave it another try - for the sake of *research*.
One clip was actually good because the girl looked like she enjoyed herself. Genuinely. That was a turn on.
The only men I have ever been with had a problem with endurance, and would finish before I even got started, so the closest I ever came to being experimental was when my husband took viagra. I had my chance to get a good spanking and hair pulling and change positions and multiple orgasms. But that was it. He complained about his joints hurting from the viagra, and never took it again. And I couldn't climax for him anymore. He seemed fine with that. What a dud.
I hope it's okay if I post a Swaim link - I think it is important to remember humor with regard to porn...
http://thosearentmuskets.com/sketches/porn2.php
I was in my basement with my younger brother and about 6 of his friends... they all decided to watch porn while sitting beside me lol and discussed what was the best turn on.
Is NO ONE going to comment on the "every guy int the world watches porn tag"?!?!?
Hi-larious, Nick. One of the reasons I love you.
That, and you're a geek. Geek is sexy. ;-P
He may be embarassed, doesn't want to disprespect you or for you to judge him. Do like me and just turn on the Playboy channel. This is a great icebreaker and allows him to see that you are ok with it and it can even serve to enhance foreplay. My boyfriend LOVES that I can appreciate porn with him and it only adds to our intimacy.
I can't watch porn. I mean really I just ruin it! I've not found a porn that doesn't make me laugh yet! I guess most of them sound really corny to me.
I was in my basement with my younger brother and about 6 of his friends
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