You asked a man to choose between you and his own child? And how did that work out for you?
Ultimatums are bad enough, but to try to force a father to give up his own child for you isn't just dumb, it's incredibly selfish, too. I would have put you out the door so fast, your head would spin for weeks afterward. I don't care how problematic the girl is; she's a child and you are an adult. You should be the bigger person. Of course she's going to rebel against sharing her father with you. She's 14!
Yes, you should end the relationship--if your boyfriend hasn't already. You don't have the maturity required to date a man with children. A mature woman would be working to find common ground and coexist instead of trying to make a man kick his own daughter to the curb.
Grow up, honey. Seriously.
I hope he kicks your butt to the street. offering an ultimatum between you and his daughter,,, as long as he's a good man, he'll choose his daughter. she;s 14! seriously, were you drunk? if my kids dad ever chose some women over our kids I'd skin him.
Why did you date him if you don't like kids and he has one? You want him to stop being a dad so he can cater to your needs in dating? Grow up!
Wow, I hope he leaves you. That is very cold hearted of you. Imagine if you had a 14 year old daughter and a man wanted you to choose your own blood, or a relationship. If you can't handle his daughter then he doesn't need to be with you, and you don't deserve him. Shame on you.
Not just coldhearted and selfish, but damned stupid and entitled to think you even stand a chance against his daughter.
She's his daughter. You're a whiny bitch. She can't be replaced. You can. Do the math.
You will ALWAYS loose if you ask that question of anyone man or woman about giving up their child for you. What an imature, selfish tramp! WTH were you thinking?
Being a single father...this is why I only date women with children.
Yes, please do us a favor a grow up...
Girl how can you ask a man to choose between u or his child?.....Really???.....That's eally f***** up on your part. You need to leave this man alone and move on cause you sure ain't worth it!!
WOW you are a giant asshole, question asker. You are more immature than your boyfriend's daughter.
I'm guessing and hoping it's just a typo- that the OP meant that SHE (as in the daughter) is asking him to choose. The rest of the question reads that way: the daughter asked him to choose so should I just end it to save him trouble with his daughter.
How the hell did you conclude that? " I told him he had to choose between her or me." Note the "I".
I noticed the "I" which is why I pointed out that it might be a typo and she mistakenly wrote "I" instead of "She" or instead of "and". If she meant "I", like she wrote, then the rest of the post, including the question, does not really make sense.
If she already asked him to choose then she would not need to ask if she should end their relationship. And then she said she likes the daughter and has no issues with her. It makes more sense for her to be asking if she should end her relationship because the daughter wants her dad to choose.
Please...
Strange...when I first read the question I thought immediately of a bratty 14 year old who either didn't the OP or didn't like daddy being in a relationship, and the OP had initially been patient then decided to issue this ultimatum. Asking if she should end the relationship she's wondering if it's even worth keeping even if dear old dad does ditch the daughter.
But then I am a freakin weirdo...
This question really bums me out because I've been the daughter in that situation. My dad did not choose me. It sucks that there are people like that in this world.
Im sorry you had to go through that. That is just wrong. Hopefully you got stronger from it. People are crazy
Here's my take someone who would ask such a question may have had that happen to him or her. For some people it's a way of life and have the attitude it happened to me so it should happen to her or him. If you grew up that way you have a hard time seeing it as something wrong. I and many others did not grow up that way. We see at as something wrong. I would never in a million years ask someone to chose between me or their child and vice versa. If a man asked me to chose between me and my boys (even if he is the most handsome, wealthiest) it would never happen and he would be shown the door.
My ex-stepmother made a similar ultimatum to my father several years ago, when my little sister was still in highschool. Key word "ex".
Unless the 14 yr old is trying to murder you in your sleep then maybe...actually, scratch that I dont get it even then. THEN it means you are dating a man who has to focus on his very troubled CHILD and get her help.And as his partner, you signed up to, at the very LEAST, be there for him while he deals with it- otherwise YOU should be the one to hit the road. I was step parent to my ex-es 2 teenage boys and my ex would bring them up in arguments saying he felt they were the reason we were having problems!? Not only is that offside, it patently was not true and never could be from my point of view. One of the reasons he is now my EX. I hope he makes the right choice here - anyone who would ask a parent to choose them over their child is, as TWA says - too immature for a relationship.
You deserve a kick in the ass out the door
How can you ask a man to make a choice between you and his daughter? ITS HIS DAUGHTER! HELLO!
Asking him to choose between you or his daughter is going to be bad for you because his daughter will always come first in his life. Unless he's douchbag whose willing to put any woman before his own daughter.
You know, when I was 12 and wanted my dad to break up with his girlfriend, it was because she treated me and my sister like we were a total inconvenience to her, and competition for her own kids. They got special treatment while we got treated like unwanted little orphans when dad wasn't around to see it. They never got in trouble, but we got slapped and spanked and sent to our rooms hungry. If we asked for anything, or actually did anything wrong, she acted like it was the biggest pain in the arse ever for her to even acknowledge us. Like our mere existence had gate-crashed her Happy Ever After party. Total evil stepmother material. I started telling my dad flat out that I hated her and not only that he deserved better, but *I* did, too. So yeah...
You sounds like you were a very smart and level headed child. what happened? x