My feelings on this topic vary widely and depend on whether your boyfriend's a young man late in cutting the ties of adolescence, or a thirty-year-old stay-at-home who sleeps on a cot in Mama's room.
Whichever the case, know that navigating the web of your significant others' family is unavoidable. If your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife are still talking to their parents, you're going to be doing so as well. And what's worse, your mate probably LOVES the hapless sons of bitches.
I'm not suggesting that love for your partner can't help you overcome friction you might have with someone on their side of the tree, but I think people often underestimate the impact marrying into a family has on your social connections.
If your man has serious, Psycho-level mommy issues, don't think that those will go away quickly, or that you pushing won't make him instantly and unshakable defensive, because it certainly will.
Things change, and so do people, but don't count on someone cutting ties with their family for you. Much better to find a way to understand his mom or relate to her in some fashion, even if that's just an uneasy truce. Then ambush the bitch when she least expects it.
People need to figure out that they're marrying into a family that will fight over the right to see them during the holidays for the rest of the marriage. You will have to put up with these people for a long, long time.
Good advice, Swaim. Hope they listen to you!
I feel so sorry for my poor sister in law. My mom can be a real bitch. But my sis-in-law knows that if my mom starts getting too crazy, I'll jump in and tell my mom to lay off. I'm already the black sheep of the family, it can't get any worse! :)
My boyfriend is the greatest guy in the world. His mother is the worst person i've ever met. She has been "sick" for 6 years now and he lives with her and takes care of her 24/7. She can do everything on her own but prefers for him to do it. She barks out orders and berates him every 5 minutes. It sux to watch. He will not stand up to her because he has no self worth at all because of living with a narcissistic bitch for the last 43 years. I dont know what to do. I love him very much but can't stand the thought that she could live for another 20 years. He cant work because she says she needs him to help her but doesnt compensate him at all. To boot, she has a million dollars in the bank that her deceased husband left her. The tight wad.
I have a similar problem with my boyfriend...he's 20 and I'm 17...she ALWAYS wants him home, and I'm lucky if I see him 2 hours a week...she's a JERK to him if she's in a bad mood, and it's SO frustrating. I'm sick of it. He won't stand up to her at all...and she refuses to be reasoned with.
I do have another question to add on to this one...what is considered "psycho-level" mommy issues?
I live wit ma mother in law, and its hell kuz everytime me and ma boyfriend fight she jumps in like if its her problem. Obviously she favors him. She doesn't even knw wat the problem is. I'm so tired of that. To top it all, she doesn't keep it to herself, she tells all her friends and her family in mexico.so like always, I'm the bad person. She talks soooooo much shit, I feel like... PUNCHING HER!!!!!!! Not to be mean but damn she deserve it.
I live wit ma mother in law, and its hell kuz everytime me and ma boyfriend fight she jumps in like if its her problem. Obviously she favors him. She doesn't even knw wat the problem is. I'm so tired of that. To top it all, she doesn't keep it to herself, she tells all her friends and her family in mexico.so like always, I'm the bad person. She talks soooooo much shit, I feel like... PUNCHING HER!!!!!!! Not to be mean but damn she deserve it.
my boyfriend jsut turned 18 and i jsut turned 17. and his mom is so controlling its unbelievable. like he actually got grounded because of a text message i sent him and his 18. she has been trying so hard for months to break us up and i told her to give her little head a shake.. because no matter what she says or does.. i am not going anywhere. I love my boyfriend, i jsut can't stand his mother.
I hate my boyfriends christian mother, She's always got an opinion based on religion. I'm pregnant right now and deciding whether or not I should keep the baby and raise it or do the dun dun. I'm 20 years old, and hes 23 however I still don't feel ready for a child. I have plans for med school. He wants to be a vet. Anyways the bitch had enough nerve to question are capability. I figure I'm damned if I do damned if I don't. Its already a sin to have sex before marriage and of course an absolute abomination to abort. Either way I face a hurricane of judgments from the very opinionated mother. Did I mention she offered to adopt my unborn child. Yeah, she says of course you could play a part in his life. That bothered me, It be different if we offered but..uh...we didn't. so, NO THANKS. God help me.
Wow that was strange. I just wrote an incredibly long comment but after I clicked submit my comment didn't show up. Grrrr... well I'm not writing all that over again. Anyways, just wanted to say great blog!
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i have been dating my boyfriend for, four years now and his mother won't give us a break. everyday she reminds him that "theres other fish in the sea" who does that?..it really upsets me because she tries her best to break us up and whenever my boyfriend and i have plans to go out we have to delay it and always says "maybe next week" the three words i've grown to hate because either something comes up at the last minute or his mother has some reason why he can't go! i just cant't stand this anymore i thought it would change after he turned 18 but nothing has. We talked about it the other day and he said hes "putting his foot down" but i hope he puts his money where his mouth is and does what he says!
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My boyfriend's mum uses him as a supplement for a husband. She keeps him close so he can fill the void of her not having a man and calls on him to do EVERYTHING for her even though she is quite capable to do most things herself. He jumps at the crack of a whip; he is constantly in contact with her even when we go away for the weekend; he drops everything for her and I have had enough. She depends on him WAY TOO MUCH and it is really starting to get on my nerves. I feel like I am in a three-way relationship and I am sharing him with another woman. One day she just dropped by and said (in a baby voice) "I need a cuddle, I have a sore neck and it hurts." She kept saying in a stupid baby voice "I need a a cuddle, my neck hurts." I thought it was so pathetic! We are not married yet but I am afraid it will get worse when we do; especially when we start a family. She also is very unintelligent. She says REALLY stupid things but I just bite my tongue.
I took my man away for s few days for his birthday and she was CONSTANTLY ringing him, and when he told her he was going to go "scuba diving" she said in an overly-concerned voice "Oh Chrissy don't tell me that. Well, you be careful". HE IS 37 YEARS OLD!!!!! She needs to P*SS OFF!
It annoys me also when I will say something to either her or my b'friend and they won't bother listening to me. They go get advice elsewhere only to find out I was right. eg: She was stung by a wasp one day. All I heard was her screaming out to my b'friend over and over (like someone was maiming her or something). He then called me out frantically (completely over exaggerated) - I told her what she should do to help with the sting (I had done my first aid), but did she listen? NOOOO! She went to the doctor a couple of days later only for him to tell her to do precisely what I told her.
I told my b'friend to cut the umbilical chord. Things did improve - for a moment - but slowly slowly I think it is going back to the way it was. She is a nice lady but extremely irritating and I have no idea what to do. I have no patience for her in the slightest.
Anyway I better stop - I would be here forever ranting about how annoying she is! Hope you all sort out your MIL issues - they truly are irritating.
omg I'm in the same situation. In fact I do not relate much with her because the most of the time i cant stand her. I would also like that my boyfriend was more untied to her, but when I try something I feel bad because I think it would keep them away or damaging the strong relationship they have. I mean, anyway is his mother and could not fight with it, but she is an annoying person.
OMG there must be an epidemic of mama's boys out there, and the numbers are growing!!:( What I don't get is the hold that these old miserable woman have on these little boys who are masquerading as grown men. Are they so damaged from years of abuse and tryanny that they can't see that these old hags are destroying every ounce of happiness from their pathetic lives...What has happened to strong, capable, men? Do they even exist anymore in this post -feminist world we have created!!
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I am losing my mind. My boyfriend's mom hates me! She stalks my facebook, and I'm not even friends with her! My profile is set to private. I have no idea what is going on with her. The other night, he left his facebook on my computer and his mom sent him a message that popped up basically bitching at him for not responding to her messages for an hour and a half..she's like I see you were out with "her"..aka me..We've only been dating for a few months now. His parents barely know me. We both go to a military college together..and both pursuing military careers. We're mature young adults who have goals and aspirations, but she just sees me as a complete distraction to him and detrimental to his success in life. He's 19 years old..and his mom still hasn't cut the chord. She tells him when to go to bed at night....seriously?! She wrote some pretty nasty things about me to him on facebook..and he shares our relationship problems with her when I've asked him not to...I know how she is, but he still does it. I asked him the other night if he talks to his mom about our relationship problems and he said no...but I definitely caught him in a lie and called him out on it because I saw the message. It's just frustrating. She has him brainwashed..every time I mention how she makes me feel, he gets mad at me....
My boyfriend is 35 years old, lives with his mother and her 3 cats. He claims he hates her and he always has to ask for permission to stay the night with me!!!! I am 36 years old! She constantly calls him, makes him come home to eat dinner, and always calls me to get involved in our fights - which are usually about him not being a man and move out of his mama's house!!! Playing video games all day, and not working! I need to dump this loser and get rid of him and his psycho mother! Just writing this out makes me sick.
I couldn't agree more with everyone. My boyfriend and I together have a toddler and we all still lives with his mom which i don't care because it helps us save more $. but every time my boyfriend and I fight, she jumps in and defend her little perfect angel as if she knows what the problem is. and later call her other kids who doesn't live with her and tells them everything. and she just doesn't do that to my boyfriend and my fights, but to her other son as well whenever he fight with his girlfriend. this old hag need to let her "perfect angels" grow into a MAN!!
i'm so glad i am not the only one feeling this way towards their boyfriend's mom!!!!!
Hello I'm 27 years. Old and me and my boyfriend have a home together not too long ago his mother came to.stay with us its very obvious she hates me and dosent like me but we disagree on everything I can't stand her she tries to tell.me how to raise my kids and tell me how to clean my house she even called me lazy which I'm not.I mean all she can do is run her mouth all the time and everytime I.say something to him he takes up for her I don't know wat the hell I'm going to do we have been together for ten years and I'm ready to end it now.:(
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I'm 18 have a 10month old with my boyfriend and live with his mother...she's crazy she babies him and thinks she knows everything about god ,she thinks my child is her's..she talks too much bs..likes to get involde in our relationship..got into it with her crazy ass a few times..I feel depress, and iirrated with her....there's so muchh I'm holding back to say to her and tell her to bud out of MY relationship but cant what do I do?any advise anyone I feel like I'm bout to loose it....
(sorry if I miss spelled word)
Hey everyone. Im 22 years old and my boyfriend is 21. He has one of the worst controlling mothers ive ever me. Here is my delimma. I live an hour from him and i only get to see him on the weekends since school has started back. When i am in town, his mother keeps him at the house making him basically do a little work and then nothing. He has to lie in order to sneak away for a little bit. He works out for 2 hours a day and then goes to practice for 2 hours a day and on certain days has his games. He has a curfew of 12 and is not allowed to stay with me AT ALL. When he does stay with me he has to lie and say he is staying with the guys, which to me makes me laugh. I get to see him maybe 30% of the time while i am in town to see HIM, and the other 70% of the time he's at home with his mom. He is not allowed to go on vacation with my family and I but i can go with his family out of town. When i do his mom gets me him AND HER a room and makes me sleep on the couch while he has to sleep with her. Also he is NOT allowed to sit next to me while i am lying down in my pajamas. Also, the iphone just got a new update and his mother has found an app called FIND MY IPHONE which allows you to keep track of where everyone is if you are their friend on that app. My boyfriend had to accept his mom so now he can no longer sneak around. Someonoe PLEASE HELP ME. He has gotten into so many arguments with his mom about this but she says she will back off and instead of backing off things get worse!!! We almost broke up the other night because im to the point to where i no longer know what to do!!!!!!!!!
I completely understand, me and my fiance live with his insane pathetic mother. She has to always b right. Nd always has to tell everyone our business. And I hate her guts!!!! She has to always control everything he does. Plus to add it all on, I work multiple jobs and she wants me to clean 24/7. She has not worked a day in her life!!! And acts like she rules the world. Nd everyone must bow b4 her!!!
Okay I've been with this guy for about 6 months now & his mom is soooooo controllive and touuchy feely. She tried playing footsie with him and always touches his legs and cuddles with him . I've told him many times i feel uncomfortable with it & he always says "Its my mom" . I feel ;like she's attracted to him & wanting more from him than she can have.
My boyfriend's mums is a mass bitch, problems with all her children's relationships, she conspires about our relationship and makes stupid patronising comments. Getting told your a stupid girl when your trying to keep a relationship happy and get on with the rest of life is harsh, having every move you make that gets back to her analysed with the rest of his family. Its ridiculous.
My boyfriend's mums is a mass bitch, problems with all her children's relationships because hers were bad, she conspires about our relationship and makes stupid patronising comments. Getting told your a stupid girl when your trying to keep a relationship happy and get on with the rest of life is harsh, having every move you make that gets back to her analysed with the rest of his family. Its ridiculous.
A mum wanting her child s fine, her making his relationships difficult because she is attached to her children is screwed!
My boyfriend's mums is a mass bitch, problems with all her children's relationships because hers were bad, she conspires about our relationship and makes stupid patronising comments. Getting told your a stupid girl when your trying to keep a relationship happy and get on with the rest of life is harsh, having every move you make that gets back to her analysed with the rest of his family. Its ridiculous.
A mum wanting her child s fine, her making his relationships difficult because she is attached to her children is screwed!
Lol I was starting to think I was the only 1 who hard that problem.
I thought about punching her in the face a few times I dnt like my bf mom shes a nosey miserable lonely bitch always in our relationship .We've had our words believe me.I hate her she needs to get a man.IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!
Lol I was starting to think I was the only 1 who hard that problem.
I thought about punching her in the face a few times I dnt like my bf mom shes a nosey miserable lonely bitch always in our relationship .We've had our words believe me.I hate her she needs to get a man.IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!!!
Oh boy crazy moms.....I certainly know a lot about that. I don't even know where to begin with my boyfriends mother. When we first started dating she was fine, actually a plesant lady to be around. Now she is just a straight up PSYCHO. She had a tracker on his phone for a year reading all of our text messages and pictures. Oh and a tracker on his car too. She hacked into my email and saw an email from a guy I met on vacation 2 years before I even met her son and labeled me a whore ever since. She contacted my family in Germany to tell them all her son is a drug addict so they would tell me to leave him. After my boyfriend andand I both moved back home she burnt a table of mine that has been in my family for 150 years. She just recently took our dog to the vet, got its rabies shots in her name so she can register my dog under her name for god only knows what reason! At one point we became friends and I was in a fight with my sister and was bad mouthing my sister to her (bad idea) she recorded everything and played it for my sister. God I hate her. And I hate that I'm considering breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years (whom I wanted to marry) because I don't want her to me my kids grandma if we ever have kids!!!!!!