Well I think you suck it up and realize that your boyfriend is not his family. If he's a good dude, he'll make sure to do what it takes to make you as comfortable as possible in front of his parents.
Here's the other thing, you don't know for sure if his parents won't like you simply because you are not white. It's altogether possible they'll hate you for something you do or say while you're there. Don't sell yourself short yet. All jokes aside, I think you have to give them a chance to like you. If you go in with your defenses up, they will be able to tell that instantly. And your interaction will suffer as a result in which case they might not hate you but they won't think favorably of you, not because of your race, but because of your standoffish nature.
I got this little mantra I carry around with me in my pocket. It states: Don't give anybody a reason to not like you.
The reason that's important is because if you approach the situation with positive vibes and a good spirit, if they don't like you, it's a choice they are making that they'll have to live with. As long as you do what you're supposed to do and are nice to your boyfriend's parents, then your time with them will be a success. And if things are going well with the BF, well, you might need to make sure you attempt to be on good terms with the future in-laws anyway, right?
So what you do is be yourself and be nice, cordial, and friendly. For decent folks, race only matters so long before they start seeing the person behind it.
It was written.
brilliantly stated! i'm indian and my fiance's white, and i was terrified...so the first time i kinda acted weird when i met his family. we do get along now, but i always had this feeling in the beginning that they didn't like me. so now that we get along, i finally asked them about why at first it seemed as though they didn't like me...they said it was because I was the one who acted like i didnt want to be there!
Yes, I felt the same way when I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. He's white, I'm black, and I wasn't at all sure how they would respond to me. In the end, we get along fine, so the best thing for you to do would be to relax and just be yourself. They can't ask anymore of you. The biggest mistake I made was acting like a nervous git when there really was nothing to be nervous about.
Speaking as a white-trash Caucasoid, I know some white people hold race against others, but a lot don't. Like PJ said, it's going to be your actions and your attitude that they remember, not if you're green like Kermit the Frog.
If you go in there with a chip on your shoulder, thinking all they'll do is judge you, then that's all you'll see. Have a little faith in people. But even if Grandma doesn't like you, it doesn't really matter anyway; you're going out with him, not her.
This is just my personal observation, but it seems that the worse the racist, the more insecure and inadequate he or she believes they are. It also has to do with the way some people are raised. Just like there are some blacks and Hispanics who don't like me because of how they were raised. It does hurt, but that's their personal hang-up, and it has nothing to do with me or who I am. If they choose not to get to know me because of my skin tone, well, then, that's their loss.
So just be your charming self. They'll see why their son was so attracted to you. :)
hahha I agree