Volunteer work is a step in the right direction. He needs what the French call "le kick in the pants." There are a few other things to consider:
1. Does he have mental or social issues? Any signs of depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, ADD, etc.? Perhaps he needs to talk to someone (a therapist, counselor, etc.) outside of the family. Sometimes an outside, impartial perspective is needed. Mom and dad are at their wits end. You're concerned, but aren't a trained professional. He might need therapy or medication to get him on track. Not knowing how to take care of himself at a basic level suggests he might be suffering through more than "giant pain in everyone's ass syndrome."
2. Allow him to pursue his interests. Maybe he's having trouble in school because he hasn't found the right fit. Your parents should allow him to choose his school and major. He should also know that the decisions that he makes now could affect him for the rest of his life.
3. Are drugs or booze a problem? Look for bad habits he may be hiding from the family.
4. It's okay for him to make mistakes. Many people who have a hard time in high school and college eventually pull it together. It's a tough time for everyone, and particularly hard for people who lack focus or suffer from mental problems. The best thing you can do is show concern and set a good example. He needs, and probably craves, structure. The more help you can provide with basic things-- time management, eating habits, etc.-- the better off he'll be.
1. Does he have mental or social issues? Any signs of depression, anxiety, learning disabilities, ADD, etc.? Perhaps he needs to talk to someone (a therapist, counselor, etc.) outside of the family. Sometimes an outside, impartial perspective is needed. Mom and dad are at their wits end. You're concerned, but aren't a trained professional. He might need therapy or medication to get him on track. Not knowing how to take care of himself at a basic level suggests he might be suffering through more than "giant pain in everyone's ass syndrome."
2. Allow him to pursue his interests. Maybe he's having trouble in school because he hasn't found the right fit. Your parents should allow him to choose his school and major. He should also know that the decisions that he makes now could affect him for the rest of his life.
3. Are drugs or booze a problem? Look for bad habits he may be hiding from the family.
4. It's okay for him to make mistakes. Many people who have a hard time in high school and college eventually pull it together. It's a tough time for everyone, and particularly hard for people who lack focus or suffer from mental problems. The best thing you can do is show concern and set a good example. He needs, and probably craves, structure. The more help you can provide with basic things-- time management, eating habits, etc.-- the better off he'll be.
Mystery Man's answer was definitely more sensible.
The one good point from this answer is the fact that yes, this guy may have a mental issue or bad habit that should receive attention immediately. Other than that (and especially if that's not the case)...
I really, HIGHLY doubt that him not being able to major in what he wants is why he's acting out to this degree. (Keep in mind the problem started in high school.) That theory is really farfetched and has no basis in logic. This is coming from someone who ended up at a school she did not want to go to (because she was not allowed to explore out-of-state options) and was not allowed to major in what she wanted because her parents though tit was a useless area of study. That is not why people get kicked out of school, unless it is a small part of a much bigger issue. Assuming that is the reason is at best naive and is not going to help this kid. "Setting a good example" is not going to be enough either. Someone needs to be ACTIVELY doing something to help him. "Showing concern" is a given, but it's going to take more than that. It doesn't matter if his sis is helping him structure his life in every way possible - HE has to want to do it first. HIM and NO ONE else. In order for that to happen, he needs a REAL kick in the pants, not a pat on the back!!
The most likely thing going on here is that his family, probably without even realizing it, is enabling his behavior. He needs, as MM said, a lot of tough love starting right now. He will never learn the long-term consequences of his actions otherwise.
Please. MM's answer was his typical self-serving BS. Only a moron thinks he gives good advice. I prefer my answers sans shite, like this one--well done, CG. Ignore the twits.