If he is a teenager failing at eating and sleeping, you might want to first check that he actually has a pulse and doesn't sparkle in the sunlight. (damn you Stephanie Meyer, can we PLEASE get back to vampires being predators!)
OK, the kid has no life skills. Has he ever had to learn them? Learned that screwing up costs more than a shouting, a grounding and no TV for two whole days? That for every error is a serious cost?
Dramatic, I know, but if he hasn't clue one about that, volunteering is probably the worst thing you could encourage him to do.
I volunteer every year, going to some of the worst hellholes on the planet. Places where the damned flies are queuing for exit Visas. Where if you blink wrong, you get shot, beaten and robbed - or worse. Places that even the simple stories you hear of what the people have to deal with put you into a rage and panic. Then you live it for yourself, not as someone who lives there, but as an outsider.
That is not a place for a kid who can't handle himself. Even in the relatively gentle surroundings of the Amazon, a kid who can't focus on others is a kid who tends to get beaten or eaten.
Volunteers are there to help and to teach. Honestly, what does he have to teach, as yet? That Americans send their boys away as they can't make them into men themselves? How to hunt down the latest Youtube sensation to people who have never seen a damned computer?
You'd be far, far kinder to shoot him yourself. Got it? Sending him half way round the world, or worse still to Baltimore, is not going to fix him.
Now as to his current behavior -
STOP BAILING HIM OUT OF THE SH*T HE GETS HIMSELF INTO!
You and your parents both. Seriously, he is your brother, not your lover. Why the hell should he bother to learn if someone always fixes things for him? You heard of tough love?
Time to use it, if it isn't too late for the total nancy boy.
(Kid, read this and prove me wrong - not with some internet tough guy shit, but with actions.)
We had a duplicate again. CG answered this - here - and was an aweful lot nicer than I was.
This is so true! I'm fifteen and I totally agree with this. I've been through so much crap, practically raising myself and my three younger brothers, but I'd never give it up because I learned tons of life skills and I wouldn't want to change who I am if not for the better. (aka, go through more crap) Hard times are to strengthen you not to hurt you. Let the kid go through some.
Here's a tip that may help. Stop paying for his college. He'll either start attending/paying attention to classes just to see what he's paying for or he'll drop out altogether and learn the hard way that he should have stayed in. Either way, life will hit him between the eyes, and from the sounds of it, that's what he really needs.
Sorry if it sounds harsh, but sometimes that's the only way to go...
Your bro obviously doesn’t have a vested interest in his life or consequences when he fails at it. When my son got kicked off the school bus in high school. I wasn’t about to rearrange my schedule for his F up. I explain to him there are 4 types of people in the world. While he was walking to school, he needed to figure out which one he was. Those who own a McDonalds & those who work there. Those who eat at McDonalds & those who wished they could afford a burger there. My son is now a VERY productive & responsible member of society. You brother can be too. He may have to face plant in the dirt a few times, but how else is he going to learn?
You can't make him realize he needs to change no matter what far-off mission you send him off to. He CAN ONLY REALIZE THIS BY HIMSELF. As MM and the other commenters have suggested: stop babying him.
Maybe he has some kind of cognitive developmental issue, or perhaps a mental illness. That may be worth checking into also.
I agree it's not worth continuing to pay for an education he doesn't value. Have him take a semester off of college (or as long as it takes) to get his head straight. I agree/disagree with the author in that volunteering/getting a job is probably the best thing for him. Albeit volunteering domestically is what I have in mind, at the local soup kitchen or something. I'm sure there are plenty of people struggling near you. I wouldn't crap out money to send him overseas.
Paying my own way through school made me value it more and want to get the most out of it.
But don't discount the possibility of depression or development issue. I have a cousin who doesn't have the ability to translate short-term memory to long-term. At 18yrs old he can barely read (like 2nd grade level at most). It took until a few years ago before anyone realized. The school just kept passing him along.
This question has bothered me more than it should. I keep thinking about it, instead of moving on to the next. And I believe I have found one place where volunteer work would help him.
Get him working for Habitat for Humanity or a similar charity. A few weekends around construction crews, doing something he can see benefits people immediately will do wonders for his self esteem, and dramatically bad things to his vocabulary.
OMG that Amazon story is priceless. I can't stop laughing. "Where if you blink wrong, you get shot, beaten and robbed - or worse." BAAAHAHAHAHA!
That's some seriously ripe BS, dude. Are you J. Peterman?
Come back when your reading age matches your shoe size.