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My ex-boyfriend and I broke up 2 years ago. During this period he has maintained a sexual relationship with me, even though he has a girlfriend he "really cares about." I have not dated at all, yet he accuses me of being a whore. Why does he say that?

Yeah, you need to stop sleeping with this guy. While you're at it, don't see, talk, or text him. Defriend and unfollow him. Run.

He's a slimewad with a serious case of "Fat Kid And Too Much Cake" syndrome. Maybe he hasn't always been that way, and no one is beyond redemption. But who gives a sh!t. He's not your problem.

Let's talk about you. You're miserable. You're giving this dude everything, and he's not giving any back. He's strip mining your self-esteem. And you are partially responsible for this. Why are you still banging him? What do you hope to gain? What you seem to be trying to hold onto isn't worth it.

He's using you only because you're letting him. Does he "really care" about his girlfriend? Most probably not, and that woman should be pitied. He tells you about his girlfriend as a way to let you know there's a barb-wire topped chain link fence between his sexual organs and his heart. And he absurdly insults your virtue as a way to de-humanize you. If you're a "whore" in his eyes, you're not deserving of common effing decency.

Look, I understand unhealthy relationships. Stay in one long enough, it begins to feel healthy. A comforting pain can be preferable to a terrifying emptiness. But snap out of it, woman. He's never going to come back to you. He's going to keep sleeping with you and emotionally screwing with your head until you make the very difficult decision to banish him from your life.

It won't be easy. It will take some time. And he will move on, human leech that he is.

But it's the right thing to do.

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13 Comments

Bev

GREAT advice here. Hope she takes it.

Molly

Eeek! So disheartening to know I have half a dozen wonderful guy friends who are single & yet this a-hole has found 2 women willing sleep with him. And yes calling a woman a "whore" (unless in the midst of some kind of dirty talk where it was requested) automatically makes you an a-hole!

user-pic

You are 100% correct, She has low self esteem and he is using that to control has. He's a D**K of the highest order (at least), she's Stupid plain and simple! (and a spineless jellyfish ), except you skipped the part about her needing to seek help of a professional, or in the very least take a long break from dating and find herself again. She is in need of serious help finding her self esteem. After this 'fiasco' unless properly guided chances are she will find herself back with the same guy (he may have a new face and different name, but make no mistake it will be the same guy). She needs to learn to break the pattern before it starts.

FYI it would be interesting to hear more of her dating history to see where this all came from or if the ex is the source of all her issues and woes.

CoCo

She's not a 'Stupid... spineless jellyfish', that's rude and unfair. And like the word 'whore', it's uncalled for.

She's a girl allowing herself to be used and abused and she needs sincere advice. Getting professional help, taking a break from dating are good suggestions, but for right now JDV is right, she must get out of this relationship. Go and don't look back!

And stop letting men call you names.

user-pic

She's not Stupid-- that's a rude and unfair judgment to make about some one you don't know. But she is allowing someone to use and abuse her. Seeking help, taking a break..those things may be be something this girl think about. The only thing she must do, right away, is get away from this guy. Now! Go and don't look back.

user-pic

Awesome advice! I've gotta show my friend about this and get her to friggen smarten up!! Guys like these are wonton jerks who don't even deserve a girl in the first place. Though I'll be honest, girls like these need to be slapped upside the head by a good friend while someone screams in their face "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING!!?" Take yourself out of bad situations, and never look back. No regrets... ever!

missxgaia

What I don't get is that she is supposedly the whore and he is not...for some reason, that feels totally backwards.

GrapeJellyGirl

Yeah, to anyone in these comments that wrote that SHE is spineless or has no self esteem...poo bah...

Give the girl a break...she is obviously very into this man/guy...now having said that for sure she needs to find the strength to realize that he is not into her and is only making her feel worse about herself..
Sorry poster...it stinks to be into someone and not have that reciprocated...and I suspect you are waiting for him to have a change of heart...

well as they say you cannot miss something until it is gone. So take a chance on that...take care doll.

GrapeJellyGirl

Yeah, to anyone in these comments that wrote that SHE is spineless or has no self esteem...poo bah...

Give the girl a break...she is obviously very into this man/guy...now having said that for sure she needs to find the strength to realize that he is not into her and is only making her feel worse about herself..
Sorry poster...it stinks to be into someone and not have that reciprocated...and I suspect you are waiting for him to have a change of heart...

well as they say you cannot miss something until it is gone. So take a chance on that...take care doll.

user-pic

Just remember sweetheart if he will do it with you he will do it to you.I wonder how many chicks he was sleeping with when he was yours.
Make no mistake he DID cheat on you too.
I hope you rot you bitch.Just imagine how his girlfriend will feel when she finds out,and she WILL find out.It's women like you that make other women hate women. As for your ex,tut,MORON.Need I say more?
Grow up!

Ms T

GrapeJellyGirl - Sorry, but you're a moron; you need professional help. You use derogatory labels just like the idiot in question; you're not any better than him. You don't know what this woman has gone through in her life; don't judge, just help. Just by your name, you sound ignorant. Women need to help women, you're of NO help. Glad I'm not your friend; if you have any.

missxgaia

I don't think that statement is fair, Ms T. She is not a moron. How can you tell her not to judge and do the same thing to GrapeJellyGirl? Seriously, calm down, she has just as much right to state her opinion as you do yours--whether you agree with it or not.

Lua

Ms T, I think you are mistaking GrapeJellyGirl for C, since she actually gave some good advice. Next time you call someone out and insult them, double check to make sure you got the right person. Or just think twice and take the high road.

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