His parents will probably take his side......so it's best to just go through the proper legal channels. Sorry you're dealing with this, it's hard- but it's important to have the paper trail.

I don't think it would be a waste of time. My mother did it when my father refused to pay, and my grandfather (who was a lawyer) told him that he'd better pay, since the renegotiated amount would be higher (he had gotten a better job). I absolutely think it's worth a try before bringing the law into it.

i wrote a comment to this last night it looks like the cyber gods ate it for breakfast. anyway, cary is right once again. i actually do have an atypical relationship with my former inlaws, and they still treat me "like the daughter they never had". i feel VERY lucky to be in this atypical situation b/c for a while there, yeah, they were believing everything they heard from him and i was the enemy but they have seen some true colors and are very very supportive of me now. i mean, i have dinners with them and everything, all for my son who has a very wonderful relationship with them that his psycho dad just won't allow to nurture. so, if i was going over there for dinner and bringing up child support issues, court matters, and dad bashing, i can pretty much guarantee you those dinners and our relationship would stop. nobody wants to hear that about their kid no matter how big a dick he is, think of yourself 10-15 years down the road, you wouldn't either. be the bigger person here as far as they are concerned, this is none of their business and they are NOT a last resort. if you have even the slightest resemblance of a relationship with your ex as i do, doing that will only make things much, much worse for you as far as retaliation is concerned, and it is not going to send ANYONE running to the checkbook.

as far as options though? the guy isn't an idiot, he is a deadbeat dickhead and the law is on your side. get a lawyer, that's why god made them, and just go after your support, you WILL get it. a lot of women hesitate to go down that road because they think it is emotionally draining, complicated, and expensive. it isn't any one of those things. having to bust your tail with several jobs working overtime that causes daycare bills and medical bills and gas costs and etc and etc and you never get to see your kids because you have to make up for what he can't MAN UP, THAT is emotionally draining, complicated, and expensive. i don't know where you are, but where i am, legal aid can help you with this, and as well, in my area you don't even need a lawyer if support is all you need. you go to the courthouse, file the papers requesting a support order, you get a court date, he either shows up or doesn't but they will look at his income, set an order, done and done in like, 15 minutes. if he fails to show, prove his income, or doesn't meet his orders, there are punitive consequences (losing driver's license, garnished wages, jail time) in just about every country on the globe that will take care of him. no matter how long he tries to avoid it, he never will be able to avoid this responsibility. again, the law is on your side, it is just a matter of time before you get it. so, the sooner you get that ball rolling the better. good luck!!

I suggest that you file for support NOW!!! If you were being paid and suddenly the support stopped talk to your case worker who is in charge of handling your case. From personal experience since I have a Dead beat Sperm donor, who claims he loves his kids and wants to support them blah blah blah. It takes a lot of time for them to locate him and serve him with the legal paper work of him being charged with child support. For me b/c he has kept moving and not being available to be served, it has been almost a year since i have filed and still i have not seen anything due to his lack of cooperation.

every time that they send paper work about the claim they have 30 days to contact the child support office to appeal what the claim is against them, or the amount that has been set to be paid to you. Also note that if you are a working parent they LOOK at what you make as well as what he makes. Because i have been at my job for almost 9yrs and make a decent amount an hour, his job he finally got which he makes less than me, the support for the two kids i get is 149 a month. Which isn't a lot when you look at it but it will help me out and it is something.

I am still waiting to get regular checks which prolly won't happen until the beginning of this coming year. So the quicker you set it up the sooner you will get the support you need to help you out! Good luck to you!

Hey Op here. thank you so much cary. I do have a good relationship with them so far. so maybe I'll attempt bringing it up. I was thinking of his parents because i KNOW his father has always been on the same side as me when it comes to the kids(that he needs to man up and work with me for their benifit). and to be honest, he;s a complete ma-mas boy..

however you have a point with the lawyers. I'm just dreading court because, not only do we live on oppisite sides of canada, he also works in a third province 2-3 weeks out of the month. I've been really lax about it because he hasn't been holding a job for the past 2.5 years. but It's been 3 years total, and now he has one. so maybe it's just time to start the cat and mouse game.