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My friend is posting personal ads on Craigslist and I don't know if he's just THAT lonely, or if this is normal? He's a good-looking normal dude and I don't think this is particularly safe. He's only 22, shouldn't he be meeting people in person, not online?

Your concern is laudable, but I don't know that either of us has the right to say what a grown man should or should not be doing in his love life.

I agree with you that Craigslist can be sketchy and at times dangerous--the recent Craigslist murders are a good example of just how dangerous. I agree that he would probably have better luck meeting people in person. But for whatever reason, he has decided to take this path, and that's his business. Maybe he's shy. Maybe he's just looking for random cheap sex. Maybe he's just curious to see what kind of strange people might reply. Who knows? It's his business.

You care about him as a friend, and that's great. You can tell him you think finding dates on Craigslist is dangerous, you can warn him to be careful, you can even tell him that you wish he wouldn't do it. You can fix him up with friends, take him to parties, join a bowling league with him, or suggest other better ways that he can meet people.

In the end, though, it's his choice, not yours. He has a right to find companionship however he chooses, and you have to let him.

Thanks for the question.

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11 Comments

kamakula

Yeah. . . a good looking dude, single, looking to meet someone, but not good enough for you to introduce to your friends. . . yep, you're concern is shining brightly here.

user-pic

So I wasn't the only one who thought she was being condescending to her friend. Smelled that one a mile away.

Erin Marie

It's silly to assume she hasn't already introduced him to her friends. I have lots of friends and guess what? Only like two are single and want to stay that way to get their shit together.

user-pic

At least suggest that he go through a legitimate dating service such as match.com Craigslist is creepsville.

user-pic

You know, I'm with kamakula on this one. If he's that good looking and concerned about him using craigslist, why isn't she setting him up with her friends?

Me thinks she's just saying he's good-looking in a condescending manner. Countless female friends told me I'm "good looking". But none of them ever wanted to date me. Plenty more told me I am definitely not good looking, though not always so nicely. I've come to appreciate their honesty and truthfulness.

That's probably why he's not using match.com

Erin Marie

You know it's a girl asking the question, how? Maybe I'm missing something.

Also, all my female friends are either married, long term dating someone or gay. Not every girl has hordes of hot single women to "set up" their guy friends with. If he's flexible I do know a couple of single gay men however.

user-pic

OK, I assumed female OP because:

1. OP gave a compliment on a man's looks; men normally don't do that usually out of fear of being seen as gay.
2. The manner which the OP expresses concern, most men friends simply tell their buddies "just go get laid, dude!".

Who said the OP's friends need to be hot? If the dude is so desperate and unattractive to troll craigslist, he'd probably be thrilled just to date a trained orangutan LOL.

As for setting up with your gay friends, well the OP will have to chime in on that one.

user-pic

well how do you know she hasn't introduced him to friends? thats a pretty big assumption on your part there. i have plenty of friends I try to set up and it doesn't work, you don't know that she hasn't. critique the situation, not your assumptions of the person asking.

user-pic

well how do you know she hasn't introduced him to friends? thats a pretty big assumption on your part there. i have plenty of friends I try to set up and it doesn't work, you don't know that she hasn't. critique the situation, not your assumptions of the person asking

user-pic

As much as people knock CL (myself included) it can be a great tool. While yes, the majority of posters are looking for cheap hook ups or are just plain desperate, every once in awhile you'll come across a legitimately wonderful person who just doesn't want to waste time on dating sites. Bottom line being no matter what form of online dating you use, there will always be liars and losers. Even if you don't find love you may find a lot of awesome people along the way.

P.s. This is coming from someone who has only replied to one ad ever on there and I'm still with this person and couldn't be happier;). (And yes, I admit it's still quite strange to tell people we met that way.)

Give it a shot. You never know till you try!

SomeEverydayNobody

Yep, CL is defenitely filled with pervos looking for a quick thrill. But much like you I found my girlfriend this way. I actually just went through personal ads out of curiosity and not truly looking for anything and found one girl who seemd honest, I responded to her. SHe told me that I was the only one who wasn't sending here nudes or asking her when she could meet them for sex, and as a result we started talking. We talked like crazy for weeks, then we met, and things have been great ever since. And I didn't get murdered! YAY!

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