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My friend keeps making jokes around our guy friends about me being a slut. I do wear more cleavage-y clothes than her but I'm not a slut. I know she's just joking but I don't like it. How do I get her to stop?

There's really only one way to make her stop. That's right: you have to kill her.

Yeah, okay, bad idea. Stupid question: Have you asked her to stop yet? If not, that would be step one. Tell her you don't like it and ask her to stop. She's your friend, right?

You say she's kidding. I say she's jealous. Many a truth is told in jest. You're getting more attention from these guys because of the way you dress, and she's trying to offset that by calling you a slut. It may or may not be intentional on her part, but it doesn't matter. It's wrong.

You should be able to dress any damn way you want without someone calling you a slut. Okay, maybe if you were wearing nothing but tassels on your nipples, it would be different, but cleavage? Contrary to what some people think, cleavage isn't a flashing neon sign that reads, "Penis wanted, apply inside." Your friend should know this. She does know this. She's just jealous.

Ask her to stop. If you've already asked her, tell her to stop. If she's your friend, she will. If she won't, stop hanging out with her. Then kill her.* Or vice-versa, although once she's dead, not hanging out anymore just sort of happens on its own.

(*Don't kill her. I am kidding.)

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14 Comments

user-pic

True that. Your friend stinks of jealousy. I agree completely with Cary's answer.

Elyne

i lollled @ rack envy ==> totally true, she's just jealous.

user-pic

Maybe it's not jealousy, maybe you need to lighten up. If people really know that you arent a slut well then why would they take her seriously? I once had a friend who was the least sluttiest girl - ever - But we used to call her 'slut' to wind her up. We were joking and we knew she hated it, but that just made us call her it more, for badness. I used to get called Vagina for goodness sake. Vagina. By my best friends. So count yourself lucky.

LifeAin't

Even if her friend doesn't mean it (though i'm with Cary on this one, I think she does) she shouldn't say it. It's really not that funny, and obviously bothers this girl, so her friend should stop.

Dovey

Haha, you rock Cary! Good lord, who calls their friend "vagina"? You have some weird friends, lady.

user-pic

you knew your friend hated it but you kept on calling her that anyway just because you thought it was hilarious or for so-called "badness"? how about stop trying to be a bad-ass and trying to be a good friend who doesn't INTENTIONALLY hurt people's feelings? WTF seriously...

Daisy

Personally, I wouldn't consider someone who calls me a slut much of a friend, but that's just me.

jude

A true friend wouldn't try to hurt someone by calling them names. Not that I live in The World of Pollyanna or anything, but isn't there enough backstabbing among women as it is?
Granted, I don't know these friends' history. Maybe the poster did something her friend got mad about, and now she's calling her a slut in a passive-aggressive way. Or maybe the friend's just jealous. Who knows. But I stand by my first assertation. A real friend does not hurt their friends on purpose.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think Leave it to Beaver is coming on now.

user-pic

My best friend told a guy that she liked that I was a slut. I wasn't. However, he asked me out. We fell in love and have been married for 22 years. Karma, Baby!

Rosebud

This happened to me ALL of high school. My advice is DON'T play the self-deprecating "oh yeah, I'm suuuch a slut" card. I did that to seem like it didn't bother me, and it just made it more and more normal until all of my friends thought it was funny to call me a slut. It stopped being funny when I started to believe it. I'm with Cary on this one. I absolutely think she's jealous. Tell her to stop, stat. If she doesn't, she's not worth your time and your potentially damaged self-esteem.

Chantelle

I agree with Cary, something certainly needs to be said. You could even take it to another level and, in a calm/private manner, ask her why she feels it's necessary to say something you find hurtful and inappropriate. It's unlikely she'll have an answer but it will embarrass her and make her think. It becomes such a knee jerk response that they don't even know they are doing it.

I had one girlfriend, whom I love dearly, constantly point out the fact that I'm shy, dress too "pretty/flirty" and that I wear heels even though I'm 6ft. It was all caste in such a negative light. I love teasing and can certainly be teased to no end but I started to see a deeper issue so I asked her "Why do you have to make fun of my differences to build your confidence? I really like how I am and see no issue with it." She didn't have an answer and I didn't expect one, but she stopped.

Good luck, hopefully there isn't any sort of friend-splosion

user-pic

She's jealous and she's not really your friend.

Imagine what she's not saying to your face.....!

Dump her pronto. Steal her boyfriend (hey, she already thinks you're a slut!).

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yo mama

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