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My girlfriend told me I'm a terrible kisser. her exact words: "your kissing me like you're eating a goddamn ice cream cone!" Shes not normally that bitchy, but she also said she was frustrated and had been hinting. How do I become a better kisser?

Dear Terrible-Kisser-Fella:

Kissing successfully is the mastery of LISP: Lips, Inside, Speed and Presence.

Study my guidelines below, ignore your instincts, and your lady will be happier then a rabbit with a carrot.
 
Lips: Make sure they're not chapped or dripping with gloss (though, if anything, caution on the side of well-lubed). No one wants to kiss desert lips.

Inside: The tongue is a powerful tool but must be used properly. It's to be used for soft poking and swirling; it is NOT a strep throat tongue depressor.

Speed: Kissing isn't a race but isn't time for a nap, either. Keep it steady and vary your gears. This will keep things dynamic

Presence: This is the final tie-in. All things mentioned above must be adhered to with a sense of being "in the moment." Be alert ,dude: If she's gagging, pull back ; If she's enjoying something, stick with it.

That should cover it. Now put down that ice cream cone and start LISPing.

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6 Comments

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Or, you know, ask her what she likes.

Some girls go for the swirly icecream thing. Clearly not this one. There really isn't a rule for everyone. She says she's been hinting, and you've clearly not been getting it. Upside, that means she's willing to work on things with you. So you say...

"I love you/like you/am into you at the moment. I get that everyone kisses differently and that we're not too compatible right now. Specifically for you, because you love/like/are into me at the moment too, I want you to tell me, in long, lingering, sexy detail whispered softly, exactly what you would like me to do, exactly how you would like to be kissed, and how I can make this work for you."

You know, then you look both sexually giving and mature, instead of terrified that you're getting it wrong and in the process of fear definitely getting it wrong. If she's sexually giving and mature as well, then that whole evening should go very very well for the both of you. ;)

Lena

I had a boyfriend who would kiss me like that. Think slobbery dog kisses. Blech! Finding a kissing style for both people takes practice. Ask her to vocalize what she wants next time you two are kissing and it'll get better with time. :)

user-pic

Wish my bf would read this. He kisses me so furiously, and practically slams his jaw onto mine. Is it better to straight up tell him he's a bad kisser? Or should I hint at it??

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To all the ladies who have bad kissers:

Tell your man to let you kiss him. He does nothing but pay attention. You kiss him the way you want to be kiss. He will get the idea and be able to do better next time.

user-pic

hahaha desert lips

Cute1991

When drunk, do people become bad kissers? Or would they be just as bad when they're sober?

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