It means he's a jealous, controlling douchebag. Who doesn't want their lady to look like the kind of smoking hot mega-fox who turns heads in '80s teen comedies? He hates when you wear makeup? That's crazy. Clearly he wants to de-sexify you to the point where absolutely no other man would ever find you attractive. Is he Amish or something? Does he want you to be covered head-to-toe in a burka? Or maybe he'd prefer you wear a Snuggie in public? This guy is a grade-a nutbag.
Obviously there are jealousy issues at play here. He's insecure, and can't stand the idea of another man even looking at you. Why isn't proud to show off his girlfriend? Not wanting you wear makeup is insane. And you showing a little cleavage shouldn't turn him into Mark Wahlberg's crazy stalker boyfriend in Fear. He sounds like the type of guy who will destroy your confidence in an effort to keep you under his thumb.
Don't let any guy hold back your beauty. Your guy should want you to feel confident and sexy. A guy who gets angry about how you dress is likely to be controlling and abusive in other ways. Dump this loser immediately.
Obviously there are jealousy issues at play here. He's insecure, and can't stand the idea of another man even looking at you. Why isn't proud to show off his girlfriend? Not wanting you wear makeup is insane. And you showing a little cleavage shouldn't turn him into Mark Wahlberg's crazy stalker boyfriend in Fear. He sounds like the type of guy who will destroy your confidence in an effort to keep you under his thumb.
Don't let any guy hold back your beauty. Your guy should want you to feel confident and sexy. A guy who gets angry about how you dress is likely to be controlling and abusive in other ways. Dump this loser immediately.
I agree 100% It is obvious that he is very insecure. I think you should be able to wear make up and show some cleavage...whenever the mood suits you. If you have it flaunt it. We don't have perky breasts forever...You should be able to wear make up and clothes that make you feel good about yourself, without getting a guilt trip from your boyfriend.
Personally I like it a girl doesn't wear make-up. I understand that there are some flaws that girl would like to cover up. I get that they may be embarrassing, so I don't mind it then. Just don't clown yourself up.
As for the cleavage part, as long as you're not one step away from being a stripper, there shouldn't be a problem.
Sometimes it does mean he's insecure, but sometimes it could mean that he just doesn't like make up and prefers a more natural look and finds that showing too much skin is tasteless. Believe me, there are guys out there like that that aren't Amish/insecure douches. I live with one now.
I disapprove strongly with the claim that the guy must be insecure. Some guys just don't think that makeup, excessive cleavage, etc, are attractive. Calling it insecurity is overanalyzing to the extreme.
Furthermore: "Don't let any guy hold back your beauty." Really? Materialist ideology at its purest. Makeup and whatever can certainly look good, but these things aren't intrinsic parts of physical beauty.
A more accurate conclusion, for the asker: You should be flattered that he thinks you're attractive without makeup instead of worked up over the thought of some kind of hidden agenda.
No one's saying she has to wear makeup. But there's a difference between a guy preferring when you don't wear makeup, and him outright hating it. She should be able to dress however she wishes. Makeup, natural look, whatever. "My guy hates it when I wear makeup and show cleavage" sounds to me like she's dating someone with jealousy issues.
I'm sorry, but there's doubt that when the asker used the word "hate," she meant it in the extreme sense of the word. How many times does someone say they "hate" something and sincerely mean that it is pure anathema to them and they seek to have it purged from every corner of the world? Rarely, unless you rule out basically all of casual discourse. Furthermore, the asker doesn't say that her boyfriend "doesn't let" her wear makeup, show cleavage, or whatever. You're putting words in her mouth and it's bringing you to a potentially erroneous conclusion. Calling someone a "jealous, controlling douchebag" because he at least dislikes for his girlfriend to wear makeup and there might be a chance he actually doesn't let her do so is just a tad presumptuous, no?
I'm not saying you're wrong in general. If your assumptions were correct (that the asker's boyfriend actually does hate for her to wear makeup and show cleavage and that the asker's boyfriend doesn't let her do what she wants) then your answer would probably be the right way to go. But those are incredibly strong assumptions to make. All I'm saying is that there's a degree of uncertainty that you don't seem to acknowledge and the failure to recognize that makes your response far too severe.
Maybe the assumption comes from the fact that, judging by her wording, he has said "I don't like it" or "I hate it" about her wearing makeup and showing her cleavage. From the information she gave, it wouldn't be much of a stretch of the imagination to assume that he didn't say "I like how you look when you go natural; you should do it more often," but that instead he said "I hate it when you wear makeup."
Of course there's room for ambiguity in the question. There's no way we can know the full story. However, if she wrote, "My boyfriend prefers when I don't wear makeup" I would've had a different reaction. And, honestly, it's the not wanting her to show off cleavage that set off my douchebag alarm. That sounds like someone with jealousy issues who doesn't want anyone checking out his girlfriend.
I'm assuming she wants to wear makeup and show off her cleavage from time to time. Otherwise, why would she ask the question? Of course we both could be right. Or I could be completely off-base. But I stand by my answer, and don't feel like I am jumping to any major conclusion.
Nik! Get a a grip, what a load of trivial yawn. Nick is right.. a man who passes remark on how much skin a girl can show can only mean that HE has the problem. There is no other way to interpret this.
Oh for goodness sake.
Unless he is Tom Ford, Karl Largerfeld or either you are going out dressed like trampszilla... then WHO does this man think he is to tell you how to dress yourself. A suggestion here and there doesn't go amiss but a dictation on your personal style? Tell him to get lost. This irritates me beyond belief when I see my very gorgeous lady friends turn up looking like a less sparkly shadow of their former selves wearing tracks, hair unwashed and no make up and being all "oh ya know but my boyfriend hates it when I wear make up.. oh but my boyfriend prefers it when I don't wear skirts/dresses he much prefers it when I cover up my long amazon toned bronzed legs in these fugly jeans..".. and do you know what i say? I say Darling you look hideous. Your boyfriend might not care what you look like but the rest of us have to look at you - now go make yourself decent.
Don't forget who you are are, and unless it is for the better you shouldn't have to change for anyone.
Grade-A nutbag is right, Nick. It will only get worse the longer you date this twat waffle.
Ya, I agree with Nick. Hate implies anger and contempt, or at the least that this guy does more than just claim she's already beautiful without makeup. And the cleavage thing, definatley implies he expect control over her body. I like a more natural look. It's what i'm comfortable with, but I also love my boobs, and a little cleavage goes along way in making outfit just right. If he just expressed that he liked you without makeup or said you were just as beautiful in the morning in sweats or dressed like a school teacer to go to church than it would be different, but no guy should ever tell you what to do with your body!
all i am gonna say is that everything nick said is exactly my EX husband. who...among many other things...HATED...when i wore makeup.
If he wants a woman who doesn't wear makeup or show cleavage, he should go out with one, but he chose a woman who does both.
If he wants something different, maybe she should suggest he go find it elsewhere.
I agree with Nick that his comments/behavior could be read as insecure. Why else would he insult his girlfriend into NOT doing something?
And btw, BRAVO Nick for the comment "Don't let any guy hold back your beauty." That was inspiring!
I had a friend and a coach (back when I was a serious figure skater) who have both been through this same problem. Ultimately, dumping the controlling douchebag was the best thing they could have done for themselves!
I, Myself, am male. I agree with most of what has been said here. For starters, yes, I have jealousy issues, and I dislike when my fiance wears make up and shows a fair amount of cleavage, but on the same token, I much rather her natural look. That being said, has the question ever crossed anyones mind, "why does the boyfriend dislike this view"? Like many of you said, a little cleavage goes along way to making a female looking good and attractive and sexy which will boost her self esteem, completly true, and I really don't mind the look when presented right. The thing I extremly dislike about make up and cleavage is that it attracts other men (unavoidable), but its when the female acts on these advances by males that gets me furious. I'm not talking about cheating, I just mean when a women thourougly enjoys and lives off the energy given off by another male when your standing right beside her or in view. Everyone seemed to take the OP's side here, and I'm not dissing her, but what if?
all the comments about this guy being a douchebag are RIDICULOUS!.. This probably a great guy that loves the way his girlfriend looks NATURALLY... where beauty is supposed to be, he's trying to save her money and make her comfortable in her own body without supporting the bullshit examples set by thew rest of the world about what is truly beautiful... he's saying he doesn't want his girlfriend that probably looks unique without make up, to look like every other woman.. he doesn't want the cookie cutter woman that looks like every other woman... if he did he'd date one of THOSE women...
He doesn't want you dto show cleavage because cleavage induces lust, Lust is a sin... Have you ever wanted something you couldn't have? It's a respectful thing to do for OTHER MEN to ask his girlfriend not to show cleavage... women walk around so immodestly these days. I read an article about the dissatisfaction in a man's heart due to unsettled and unresolved sexual desires.... it can shorten his life span due to the unhealthy stress level spikes. ... Seriously women, I know men say they want to see sexy women, but the place for sex is in a marriage, not at a public place where other people can see.