Well, you can tell him that First Lady of California Maria Shriver got busted for doing it, so it’s only a matter of time before they catch him.
Let’s pause for a moment to think about how that probably went down.
Cop: Gov. Schwarzenegger, we caught your wife texting and driving.
Gov. Schwarzenegger: Ja, Ja. Is not problem, right? (Gestures towards the Conan the Barbarian sword he actually keeps in his office.)
Cop: No problem at all! I’ll just be shredding this evidence now, Mr. Governator.
But, yeah, he needs to stop doing that. I’ll give you a for instance: I have an older uncle who refuses to wear seatbelts. He’s lived this long and never worn a seatbelt, and doesn’t want to change. Fine, whatever. But if he’s in the car with me, he wears the seatbelt or he goes nowhere. Tell your husband you won’t be in the car with him, or let the kids be in the car, unless he turns off his phone. Insist on driving (particularly if the kids are in the car). It’s too dangerous. At the very least, he’s going to get a ticket just for “LOLing” to his pals.
What is he texting that is so important he can’t wait until he stops operating a motor vehicle? Unless he’s texting AAA to get a tow truck to pick you all up, there is zero reason to be putting his family and other drivers in danger. If you’re stuck in a traffic jam, fine. But once the car is moving, put it away. Have a family conversation. Mellow out to some NPR. (They can make even the tragedy in Darfur soothing.) Or maybe, I don’t know, focus on driving.
Meanwhile, make sure you’re practicing what you preach. Don’t fix your eyeshadow while driving. Try not to take calls unless it’s an emergency. Don’t reach in the backseat to hand your kids a snack or separate them when they’re fighting. He won’t take you seriously if you’re driving while downing a Frappuccino, talking to your mom on the phone and yelling at the kids all while Lady Gaga warbles about a “disco stick” on the radio.
What do you guys think? Does texting while driving make you want to channel your inner terrible stand-up comedian? “What’s the deal with texting on the road? Am I right, folks?”