I agree with you. The marital bed is important, and you both should be sleeping in it. Call me old-fashioned. It’s not even so much about sex, but about togetherness. The marital bed is a symbol of your marriage: are you in it together or living apart?
I’m curious, though–if it “has always been that way,” why is it suddenly an issue now? You’ve let him do it all along, so it will be harder to change your mind–and his. Not that you shouldn’t try; like I said, I agree with you.
What does he do, fall asleep on the couch watching TV, or sleep in another bedroom altogether?
I just read that more and more couples are sleeping apart, and part of me gets that. There have been times when I wished I had my own bed, usually around 1:37 a.m. when my wife or child or dog is tossing and turning or snoring or telling me to turn down the TV (not the dog–she doesn’t talk, at least not to me.). But I stay put because it would be unhealthy for my marriage. If other couples can pull it off, more power to them. Every marriage is different. I had one set of grandparents who slept in separate rooms throughout my childhood, and another set who not only slept in the same bed but were all lovey-kissy-grabby all the time and went to bed before the sun had completely set so they could get their paws on each other, presumably. Yeah, I know–gross. You didn’t have to see it.
My take, then, is that I agree with you, and I think that if you want Mister Man back in your bed, you should ask him. He is your husband, and he should honor that request. It is important. Also–I skimmed over this before–sex is important, obviously. Sexual relations are the most basic and literal expression of marriage, and the cornerstone of marital intimacy. When you stop having sex, other areas of your relationship will begin to wither, like a piece of fruit that rots from the inside out.
So, yeah, he needs to come back to bed. For the togetherness, for the sex, and because you want and need him there. Any one of those is reason enough; all three together should be a compelling case.
Thanks for the question.