I hate to say it, but the kid was right: that f**king guy was making too much f**king noise. I could hear that motherf**ker all the way from here!
Ok, I'm probably the wrong guy to ask about this, as I have a pretty foul mouth at times. I tried to tone it down once my child was born, but it's easy to forget they're around. When my kid was about three, her mom asked her not to do something, and my sweet little daughter replied, "Kiss my ass." Naturally, I was blamed as the source of this phrase, and rightfully so, except I wasn't sure where she heard it. I certainly don't go around the house telling my wife to kiss my ass; if I did, I wouldn't be here today to write this answer.
Not long after this I was in the car with my kid when another driver did something to piss me off -- not hard to do -- and I said, without thinking, "Kiss my ass!" Mystery solved. I forget the kid is there sometimes.
Maybe your husband forgets, or maybe he isn't trying at all. I'll assume you've asked him to tone it down. That's step one. If he can't, or won't, remind him that while he might find it amusing to hear a toddler utter the F bomb, your child won't be laughing when he ends up in time out at school or day care for simply repeating words he heard his father say. The kid's the one who will suffer, not you, and that's not fair, because most of the time, he has no idea what the word even means.
You can also tell hubby that having a three-year-old with a salty tongue will make grown-ups think he comes from a white-trash hillbilly home where chickens roam the yard and Ma and Pa take turns cussin' each other up and down in between chugs from a Schlitz Malt Liquor 40. Do you really want to be that family? I didn't, so I cleaned up my act, at least around my child. He can, too.
If not, let him be the one to take the kid to and from school and attend parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings so that he, not you, can feel the judging adult eyes burn a hole in his back.
Oh, and it's your fault for reacting? Horse shit.
Good luck.
a cursing 3 year old? Hate to say it, but you're fucked.
Honestly, if I reacted everytime my husband swore I'd look like I was having a seizure!
I agree with your answer. Our kids learn the most by the example we set for them. If they hear a constant stream of foul language coming from us, they will see it as appropriate behavior. A parent's use of swear words condones those words as "OK" for the child to use.
Your kids will hear those words, anyway, at some point from other adults, from their friends, from TV, and from song lyrics. You won't be able to shield them from that. However, they will know that language like that is not approved of or used on a regular basis in their home if you can keep it in check.
When pushed to their limits, nearly everyone utters a swear word or two at times. I don't think this is a cause for concern. A steady stream of these words used in daily conversation, however, sets the wrong example for kids who are exposed to it.
Whenever I slip up and swear in front of my kid now, she scolds me.
There is something the mom can do. When she hears the kid drop the bomb, pull him aside (a little extra jerk on the arm to get his attention and underscore the seriousness of the offense doesn't hurt) and say 'Hey, that word is a grown-up word. They're not for kids. They're very rude and hurt people's feelings.'
Sounds stupid, but if you've got a kid who cares, it works. Although it may take a few tries. I was lucky -- both my kids bought it. Although my daughter, now 26, swears like I do.
Try it on the husband, too. The asshole deserves it.
I agree with this answer -- dad needs to clean up his act -- but depending on the child's age there is something to be said for ignoring it. When my son was 2 somebody (*cough*myhusband*cough*) dropped the F bomb in front of him. He turned and looked at me with a typically mischievious gleam in his eye and tried it out slowly, studying my face for a reaction. I immediately scolded him and told him it was a grown-up word and not a word for little mouths, which lead to a very dark peroid of time in our family's history. My little prince used it every chance he got; it became almost a mantra. He'd just be wandering around, playing with his toys, muttering "F*ck, F*ck, F*ck" under his breath and giggling when we scolded him.
Eventually we got wise, started ignoring it, and he stopped and forgot all about it. Now that he's older, he understands the concept of "grown-up words" and what is "inappropriate" for a child to say, but that sort of thing takes time.
Good points both, DD and Biggirl. Ignoring it is probably better when they're smaller, and jerking a knot in their tail likely has more effect when they're a bit older and can understand. Or you can just beat them all the time, like I do.
Not really. Save your hate mail. I'm kidding.
I agree with Cary. Also, my kids have known since they were old enough to talk that there are some words that big people are allowed to say and words that kids are not allowed to say. They are allowed to ask about words they have any questions about and if it's forbidden, they don't say it. I can count on one hand the number of times I have had to punish one of my kids for saying a word they weren't supposed to. I have good kids:)
I try really hard not to swear around my daughter. I'm actually worse at dropping the F-bombs than my husband.
My daughter had never dropped an F-bomb yet (she's 5), but she's said "sh*t" before.
As the same as most parents here, we just told her that's not an appropriate word and when I swear, I correct myself and say "don't say what I just said. It's rude and not appropriate." And now my daughter keeps me in check.
We never made it a huge deal or punished her for swearing. We just made her understand that swear words not a nice words and are not appropriate.
My three yr old currently says "Fucking dammit!"
I really couldn't say *where* he heard that.....
Children are like parrots: they repeat what they hear(and what they see too, most times, but I don't have an animal reference for that).
Growing up(ok, I'm only in high school, but up until I was almost ten) it was my mom, me, our dogs, and my mom's parents who my cousins and I referred to as Grammy and Papa.
Papa said "sonovabitch" at least four times a day, in respose to various things, in a tone of voice that one would use to sigh and say "what the hell is the world comming to." When I was about three years old(could've been younger, dont remember exactly) I repeated this while sitting on the dining room floor(dont remember why or what exactly I was doing, but I think I remember having some toys in front of me). My mom was in the kitchen, which was only separated from the dining room by a change of flooring, talking with Papa who was sitting at the kitchen table. She looked at me and said "Lynnie, that's a bad word, don't say it." I looked at her with slight confusion and a good amout of curiosity and said, "But Papa says it all the time." She glared at him and said pointedly "Papa's not supposed to say it."
"Like he's not supposed to feed Rocko salt&vinegar chips?" "Exactly." "Oh. Okay, mommy."
I still don't say that, even though I say many, many more things that Mom would've scolded me for like that when I was small(hey, I only use the ones she does. Her vocabulary slowly expanded after I hit middle school.)
what the heck ???? can you post ur daughter saying bad words on youtube ? i know there might be some harmful comments but try it k ? okay i cant comment cuz im not logged in but try it BITCH
I'm sorry but I don't really understand why you would say to a child they're grown up words when I can't name one instance when it would be appropriate for an adult to swear. How confusing for a child!
It starts and finishes with the parent. I have a daughter who has only just started talking and I no if she was to swear the blame would fall on me or here father. That said I guess if the child is older there maybe other sources. But I struggle constantly with her father and his mouth. I have asked my partner not to swear infront of the kids but he has a nasty habit. I do also accidentally swear too. It has to be hard work from both people for this to stop. It's leading by example.