Yeah, that's weird. Why does she need to be such a big part of your life together? This is not "yeah, they're cool with each other and when we occasionally bump into her in public they aren't at each others" throats." There's a level of casualness here that is really unfair to you.
Plus, uh, you live together. It's time for him to start phasing her out. Right now, she's getting in the way of your relationship. It's one thing to still be friendly with his ex, but making you hang out with her all the time doesn't seem fair. Why do you need a physical reminder of his past? And joining the same weekly pool league means she wants to still be in his life and circle of friends. Does she still have feelings for him? Why is she always around? I don't see the problem with telling him that you're uncomfortable spending time with her. She's getting in the way of your relationship, plain and simple. He doesn't have to totally cut her out of his life, but he should realize that hanging out with his ex-wife like she's just part of the gang is going to make his girlfriend uncomfortable.
It's not too late to discuss this with your guy. If you keep it to yourself, you'll just grow resentful. He should understand that her constant presence makes you uncomfortable. You've been very tolerant of her so far, so it's only fair that he acknowledge that it's time to totally let her go.
Plus, uh, you live together. It's time for him to start phasing her out. Right now, she's getting in the way of your relationship. It's one thing to still be friendly with his ex, but making you hang out with her all the time doesn't seem fair. Why do you need a physical reminder of his past? And joining the same weekly pool league means she wants to still be in his life and circle of friends. Does she still have feelings for him? Why is she always around? I don't see the problem with telling him that you're uncomfortable spending time with her. She's getting in the way of your relationship, plain and simple. He doesn't have to totally cut her out of his life, but he should realize that hanging out with his ex-wife like she's just part of the gang is going to make his girlfriend uncomfortable.
It's not too late to discuss this with your guy. If you keep it to yourself, you'll just grow resentful. He should understand that her constant presence makes you uncomfortable. You've been very tolerant of her so far, so it's only fair that he acknowledge that it's time to totally let her go.
I might add, pay attention to what he does with the info. My guy did NOTHING about his ex’s over involvement. She went as far as to show up at a family function at his parent’s place. That was the beginning to the end. After our divorce he apologized for not considering my feelings, where she was concerned. Too little too late….
I agree with silkysly above - pay close attention to what he does with the information on how you feel. If he doesn't care how you feel then he simply doesn't care about you. If he makes an effort to understand you're hurt or looking for things to change, then great! If he shrugs it off or makes it seem like you're wrong to feel the way you do then you're wasting your time.