Unfortunately, it sounds like you are living under the roof of a woman with some real mental illness. I'm no doc, but you tell me she has OCD - a real disorder. A disorder like this, that isn't being treated, will have ramifications and continue to cause havoc for her and those around her. There is no quick fix to your situation, rather you need to work towards creating the kind of boundaries and relationship that works for you.
In other words, you need to protect yourself from her abuses. Don't buy into her perception of reality. Most importantly, develop a life and identity for you that does not involve your mom or this house. I'm not saying abandon this woman, but I am saying don't play every role for her. You are not her doctor. You are not her colleague, or convenient punching bag.
You are her daughter. Yes, not a kid-daughter, but still her child. Don't distort your responsibilities or create unreasonable expectations for yourself in order to "make things right."
Remember: You can encourage a horse to go to therapy. But you can't make it sit.
Great answer!!!
Good answer. If I were in your shoes I'd encourage mom to get professional treatment. OCD is at its core an anxiety disorder and treatable. Don't make your mom feel marginalized or weird for having it, but by the same token don't let it become your issue either.
This is a tough question... I have OCD and being someone with severe anxiety issues I understand her mom's side a lot better than the daughter's... it's hard to deal with people when you have OCD, it's not something that can be cured, only managed and even then her mom is still going to have some pretty rough days. One of my issues is being touched, even by my loved ones, some days are ok and other days I'll snap out like a vicious dog for a slight pat on the arm...
Going to therapy is overrated and over priced and often only helpful slightly, I say this from experience. People think they understand what you're going through but there's no way for someone to understand what it is like to have your own mind seemingly turn against you and be uncontrollable. Most people think of OCD as being a disorder where everything is clean or organized but that often isn't even a symptom and the obsession aspect is so much worse than the compulsive side
I'm not saying the woman shouldn't go to therapy because she should but she needs to find a way to manage herself and stop lashing out, as hard as that might be and a therapyst just doesn't always know how to deal with the situation and can be just as naive even if not ignorant of the disease
Luckily, for me, my husband is very supportive and my 13 year old daughter has learned the signs of the bad days and just knows how to avoid the situations all together... sometime though, in the case of my mom and sister, the "help" or the advice they try to provide is worse than doing nothing at all...