Heavy sigh. I hear you, friend. This is becoming a serious problem. I'm of the opinion that if your son or daughter is on Facebook, or any other social networking tool for that matter, then you should steer clear. If you're a new parent and absolutely have to keep your coworkers and friends you haven't seen since high school abreast of your little bundle of joy's every spit-up and adorable pumpkin outfit, then you are allowed to join. (Just don't make a separate profile for your baby.) But once your child is old enough to combine the words "face" and "book," you must delete said profile immediately.

Unfortunately, the appeal of awkwardly commenting on your son or daughter's status updates and taking "Which Care Bear Are You"? quizzes is just too strong. So how do we stop this epidemic? Luckily, the answer lies in an age-old maxim: Parents are terrible at computers. (Seriously, the first time my mom sent me an e-mail, I deleted it for fear that it was some sort of shady phishing scam.) Eventually your mother will become frustrated with Facebook's extraordinarily simple interface, and quit to go watch Ellen or whatever it is moms do when they're not hounding you to get married or find a better job or do anything with the life they gave you.  

Though, let's be honest about why your mom is really on there. (It isn't to play Farmville with your friend Becky.) She wants another tool for spying on you--something which Facebook makes far, far too easy. Your own so-called friends are probably selling you out right now, tagging you in compromising photos and sending you invites to "pimps and hoes" parties. Lead a boring online life for a while, and she'll probably back off and go back to checking the old LiveJournal you never update. (Well, at least until Good Morning America tells her about Twitter.)
   
Really though, Facebook needs to start enforcing some sort of age limit. It used to be that the site was only available to college students. Maybe we need to go back to those days. It had a good run, nearly putting MySpace out of business and all. At the very least, maybe there should be some sort of age-verification system that redirects anyone over the age of 30 who tries to sign up to a video of a kitten sneezing or an article about the health benefits of green tea. Basically the Internet equivalent of those weird glowing hand clocks from Logan's Run.