You're not alone in your quest for more affection. Many women complain of the same thing.
The good news is that yes, it can be learned. It just might take a little bit of training and programming. And while that sounds wrong, its in his best interest too. A happy woman means a happy home.
First, you probably need to have that conversation. While I'm sure you've mentioned it to him before, actually sit down and talk to him about how it makes you feel. Don't accuse, just let him know how you feel when he is affectionate and how you'd love it if he would do that type of stuff more. If he loves you, he'll try. If he resorts to, well I'm just not affectionate, then you have a problem because he isn't even acknowledging that there is an issue.
Once you talk, then show him what you want him to do. It might sound stupid, but a lot of men didn't grow up receiving a lot of affection. Many of us simply don't know how to do it. Show him what it feels like to be affectionate by being affectionate towards him as much as possible. You never know, he might like it.
Point is, it's not a total lost cause. Most men are results oriented, so we're affectionate when there is a need (i.e. sex). Women are generally more affectionate by nature, just as a rule. Men just need a little help in this regard. But don't write him off, give him a chance. If he sucks at it then or refuses to give it a whirl...THEN you need to assess if you need to move on. He probably doesn't even realize it though. Open his eyes a wee bit.
Oh, and put some stank on it.
Some people are touchy people and some people are not touchy people. Im a woman and Im not touchy/affectionate at all unless to children. I dont like to touch others nor do I like it when others touch me. It can actually be repulsive at times. He just may those types you know. If you cant deal with it, you may need to reconsider and find yourself a guy who is exactly like you (touchy/feely).
"A happy woman means a happy home." - I love you for this GBFF!
glad to be of service!
It took over a year before my man and I held hands on a regular basis in public.. Neither of us are super touchy people, and neither of us like to see people snogging in public; it's just disrespectful of others!
Anyways,.. being around guys I had thought they were all supposed to be all over you and was a bit worried at first. But now, dating for two years, he regularly initiates hand holding and hugs (even when I don't care!)
So, no worries, he's probably not come from a very 'in touch' kind of home!
Thanks Amanda. What changed for you guys, to make him suddenly initiate more?
The letter writer indicated that this was a new bf... it could just be that he isn't comfortable showing much affection just yet, and really only time can change that. She can show him what she wants by hugging him and by holding his hand or sitting close when watching TV or a movie. As the relationship grows and as they get closer/ more comfortable with each other then the touchy feely part will grow too.