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My roommate won't stop having shower sex in the bathroom we share. I've spoken to her about it before and she promised me she won't do it again, but she keeps doing it, and I find it disgusting! How do I get her to stop?

Can you blame her? Shower sex is fun. Some people also think it's more private since the sound of their dirty business is drowned out by the water, though in your case they must be mistaken, since you always seem to know when they're doing the deed in there.

Just out of curiosity, what exactly grosses you out about it? Do they leave behind evidence of their activities? I would think hot running water would take care of that kind of thing, no?

Maybe it's just the guy in me, but I don't see the big deal unless you step in something every time you shower after they've had sex. I know what they're doing isn't 100% sanitary, but neither is the dirt and sweat and funk that washes off your body and onto the shower floor as you bathe. Are you grossed out by the fact that she washes her armpits and lady bits and butt crack in there, too? I guess I'm not sure I see the diff. Do you share a toilet with this woman? Is that any different?

I don't know how you can get her to stop. It's her shower, too, and she obviously feels like she has the right to diddle in it despite your protests. You can, however, ask her to scrub and sanitize the shower after every tryst. Would that be a reasonable compromise? If not, you might need to look for a new roommate. Sounds like they are having a good old time in there and have no intentions of stopping.

Thanks for the question.

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11 Comments

user-pic

HA! The second tag made me both laugh and recoil at the same time. :-D

Sherri

are you 100% sure they're having sex? maybe they're just showering together without the sex part. it saves on water and time, and it's still fun :p

user-pic

My first roommate out of college used to do this all the time with her boyfriend. I got annoyed not so much that they were having sex, but that they would be in the bathroom for an hour or more and if I had to go I had to hold it, or if I needed to shower before going out or to work I'd be late. I could care less what they did when I wasn't there, but if your roommate is home you should be courteous that she might need the bathroom, or kitchen or living room (also some of their favorite spots). It's just being a decent roommate.

Cary McNeal

Very good point, Dominique. I didn't even think of that.

sinsin

Perhaps the problem is more that your roommate is having hot shower sex and you are not. I could be wrong, that happens.

Brooke

Original question asker here. Thanks for answering, Cary!

I'm grossed out by the idea of bodily fluids remaining behind after sexual trysts in the shower, but I see your point about it being the same thing as washing sweat and dirt off of your body, Cary. While I haven't encountered any left over evidence after the shower sex has taken place, I know for a fact that they don't use a condom when engaging in said sex and that he doesn't cum inside her either, so the possibility of encountering the remains is very real. (Hopefully that wasn't too graphic of a description. Feel free to edit if deemed necessary.)

I would be totally fine with the shower sex if my roomie cleaned the shower afterwards each time; that, to me, is a fair compromise. I've asked her before, though, if she can clean the shower afterward and she's said she will, but she never does. So I guess I'm struggling with where to go from here / what to do next, if anything.

Cary McNeal

If you've asked her to clean up after herself and she won't, then she's just another typical inconsiderate roommate who doesn't give a flip about your wishes and never will. It might be time to start looking for a new roomie... or at least wearing flip-flops in the shower.

SimplyLaurel

If you simply asked her to "clean the shower," to her, that might mean something as simple as spraying down the walls/floor if the shower with the shower head. If you had something more in mind, like scrub brushes and Lysol, you might have to specify.

mindybindy

We need to get mythbusters in on this one. I like to think any nasty unsanitary residue will wash down the drain with the soap. I wonder what legit lab tests would say!

Luna

Wow...can you see the eviction proceedings using THAT as the reasoning? Seriously, it's not wrong to expect your roommate to clean up after herself, no matter what (or WHO) she is doing where....if she won't, then I'd try a "roommate meeting", or maybe telling her partner to clean the shower...or even a "overnight guest freeze". Or as was suggested, find a new roommate. But you might be in for a worse situation...what if the next roommate likes sex on the dining room table????

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The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same. -Henri B. Stendhal

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