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my step daughter is a senior in college. Her boyfriend is also a senior in college. they are both from wealthy parents. She has been paying for some/all of his airfares for his vacation holidays. any suggestions on how to tell her to get rid of this freeloader?.

You don't.

I don't blame you for being concerned, but I've got two points to make here:

1) Just because his parents have money doesn't mean he himself has money. They may not give him any, maybe he's choosing to pay his way through college, there are dozens of possible reasons.

2) They're both adults, and they're not going to appreciate your attempts to meddle in their business. How would you feel if your parents lectured you about your husband and what a freeloader he is in their minds?

Some lessons just have to be learned, no matter how unhappy they are. Leave them be.

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5 Comments

user-pic

I would also add, he she's choosing to pay for these things with her money, that's her right, her decision. If she is a senior in college, she's at least 21 years old she's a full adult, she's fully capable of making her choices and accepting responsibility for her actions.

silkysly

True.., but not so true. You’re a grown @$$ adult when you buy the toilet paper to wipe that grown @$$ of yours.The OP said she was in college with wealthy parents; not in college with an awesome job. If the person who giving her an allowance is ok with it..., the OP should walk away from it. It’s a minute of her life, she’ll figure it out.

user-pic

But either way then, it's not the OP's business, since she did not indicate it was her money the stepdaughter is spending. The parent giving the money has the right to decide if its an issue if their daughter floats her BF.

Also it was not specified if the stepdaughter did or didn't have a job. It's just an assumption she didn't because the OP mentioned wealthy parents. I've known many college students who had wealthy parents, given huge allowances, but still insisted on having a menial job. They seemed to be the ones who turned out much better later on...

user-pic

Well...if the wealthy parents are subsidizing the daughter...so, she can in turn subsidize him....I guess they have to make a decision.

Maybe if the daughter can afford to subsidize him, maybe the parent should realize the daughter doesn't need to their money to live...

Where in the world does it say that if your PARENTS have money, that YOU have money?

chrissie1101

just gonna throw this out there, she's also your step child, not your child. being a woman whose son has a step mother, and a woman who is dating a wealthy guy with four college aged children, i'm just gonna go out on a limb and say if i started making scenes about one of his daughters and how she was spending her money i am pretty sure i would NOT come out looking like the good guy. i think dan's last sentence pretty much nails it.

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