Right. Time for a wee heart to heart chat with you.
First up -
Attraction just is.
You can no more control who you attracted to than you can stop the sunrise. Don't even try, it is just a waste of time and energy. Pretty much every guy gets attracted to a guy at some stage, every gal gets attracted to another gal. Totally normal.
Second up -
Love is.
It is there, always. If you are totally honest with yourself, you'll admit that you love people of both sexes. No sin there - to borrow one of the wiser bible phrases, we are actually commanded to love one another.
Third up -
You are who you are, and screw anyone else.
Not what others want you to be, not even what you want to be. You are you. Sure, you have faults, habits that drive your close friends nuts, and some truly admirable characteristics. You are human. A mix of the great and the bad. And while faults should be fixed, being attracted to a member of the same sex doesn't even make the list.
Bases loaded, time to bring them all home.
At the risk of upsetting a hell of a lot of good friends, it is easy to be an advocate for something you don't feel personally. Working for justice as an abstract concept is akin to sitting and watching the evening news. You have the outrage, but no real connection. It is a way of showing your empathy without being personally involved.
Now, suddenly, you are involved, in something you never expected to be. Your entire self image has been flipped upside down. You are looking at yourself in total horror, finding out there are bits of you that you never even suspected existed.
That will happen several times throughout your life. The person you think you know best turning out to be a stranger sharing your skin. It is scary as hell and kicks in a panic reaction. But, you know what?
You are still you.
Now I am not going to tell you to act on this or to ignore it. That is not my place or my job. The ultimate arrogance, to me, is assuming one person has the right to decide for another.
I will suggest, from an outsiders perspective, that you are making an entire mountain range out of something that is a perfectly normal part of life. This happens all the damned time. Accepting or rejecting it is up to you.
Be totally honest with yourself. That is all I ask.
Mystery Man, if I knew who you were, I'd track you down and give you the biggest hug. I don't care how you feel about displays of affection. I'd force it on you.
Because that was beautiful and so well said. As close to perfect as advice can get. Feel good about yourself today, because that was one goddamn good deed.
Damn straight! No pun intended. Great advice, MM. Kisses and kudos.
Bisexuality carries a hell of a lot of stigma in the gay community, unfortunately. It's partly from girls trying to win guys over by being a naughty little bit lesbian (and vice versa), and it's partly from the fact that it keeps being referred to as greediness. I explain, all the time, it's not that I'm attracted to MORE people, or to everyone, it's just that the outside of a person doesn't make much of a difference to how attracted I am to the inside of that person. And by that I mean personality and mind, not innards. :D
If you've been involved in the LGBTQ community, then chances are, you'll have heard a lot of these bisexual jokes. They're often not meant to hurt, but they can give a negative vibe to bisexuality itself, making it difficult to come out as bisexual instead of straight. This could be where your negative emotions are coming from.
Also, everything that MM said. :)
Just be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
I am a huge gay rights activist myself and I am straight. It really doesn't matter what your orientation is, it matters that you support equal rights, no matter the orientation.
I'm straight but damn there are some really hot women out there.
KNow what you mean Megan. The thing is, sometimes you may just be confused. Follow your heart, SOMETIMES. not all the times, but good luck!