I vote yes, barring something important that needs to be discussed (i.e. health issues, financial issues, getting your stuff back). Realistically speaking, even the best break-up rarely results in people being able to talk to each other immediately. There's still some pain there.
Over time, getting back in touch can make sense; but that's up to both parties.
Totally agree, but how long?? For me its been almost 3 months and I don't miss the relationship aspect but the friend part. He was one of my closest friends and confidants. I don't want to be the first one to call, but I miss him as my friend a lot. Should I make an exception?? I don't know yet, because that means I'm risking been perceived as desperate or him thinking I may have regreted the reasons leading to the break up or something like that. I can forgive, move on, try to grow and learn from it and be friends but maybe the isn't, because if the wanted to he would have contacted me.Thoughts??
that's the hardest part of breakups, losing that friend and confidante. i know RP is all for clean breaks, i think most of the guys here are, and i see the value in that no doubt. however there are a few schools of thought on it that to me, like other commenters, this is not such a black and white area. if it has been that long, my first thought for you is, what do you have to lose? on the other hand, if you think there is even the slightest chance of being hurt if he isn't thrilled to hear from you or worse, doesnt even reply to an email or phone call, then i would say step away from the phone/email/whatever. it's about self preservation. i wouldn't care less if someone thought i was desperate for contacting them three months later, but thats me, i dont care what other people really think of me that way. i'm a big believer in instinct, if your instinct is saying touch base, then do it, but NOT if your instinct is paired with the hope of reconnecting b/c you increase your chances of getting hurt. go into it no expectations and keep in mind self preservation.
I don't think there's a "one universal answer fits all" to that question. Whether or not there should be contact is going to depend totally on the circumstances of the relationship and the breakup. I have seen breakups where the exes not only maintained normal contact, in one case a guy introduced his ex to her future husband and they've been married for 15 years so far. So, to simply say a blanket yes or a blanket no is not an accurate answer.
Don't do it! Unless you have had a good while (as in 3-6mos) to get over your feelings, it's a bad idea. Trust me. If you can really be JUST friends, more power to you, but staying in contact with exes almost always leads to trouble. The GUYS are right when they say, "An ex is an ex for a reason..."
I totally vote Yay. I just wish my ex and I had been strong enough to follow that advice. I wrote a whole post about it, "The Anatomy of A Break-Up... I Never Want To See You Again... Until I'm Lonely."
http://www.mythirtysense.com/2011/11/06/the-anatomy-of-a-break-up-i-never-want-to-see-you-again…-until-i’m-lonely/