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Not really interested in dating at the moment, as I have many things I want to focus on personally: money, career, etc. I think a break will bolster my chances of making a real connection in the future - or is a self-imposed hiatus a bad idea?

You're just saying this because I asked you out, right? It's okay -- I get that a lot. But don't think I'm giving up, because I'm not.

A self-imposed hiatus from anything is never a bad idea if your mind/soul/good sense is telling you that you need it. Just as we need to listen to our bodies when they tell us things about our health, we should also listen to that still small voice in our gut that's telling us to back off from something, take a breather and regroup. I had to do that in college when I was getting more action from the ladies than I could possibly handle. It was overwhelming. And then I woke up.

If there are areas of your life that need attention, then focusing on yourself is both a smart move and a good investment in your happiness and in future relationships. Partnerships, no matter how casual, work best when you enter them with a better sense of who you are and what you want in life. If you don't know yourself, how can you know what you want in someone else?

Certainly you don't have to stop dating to work on your money or career issues, but if your gut tells you that you should, then I say follow your gut.

Call me when you're back in circulation, mkay? So I can hook you up with one of my single friends. I'm pretty sure our Mystery Man is unattached at the moment.
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4 Comments

Keesto

not to mention the levels of masterbatory-creativity that selp-imposed hiatuses can impart.

Daisy

Sounds like a lonely life to me when career and money are held as such high priorities, but everyone is different. This is good advice. If she's really not interested in dating right now and chooses to focus on other things, not only might SHE be better off in the long run later, but it would be more fair to the men she might have dated otherwise now. After all, why waste their time and lead them on if she's really not interested in being with them at this time anyway.

user-pic

Just make sure to find time in there to take care of Yourself and the best relationships can happen when you least expect it or aren't looking for it. But be honest if there are real underlying issues like you are afraid of intimacy, you were hurt in the past, etc. These fears could lead to a lonely life devoid of Love and Sex !

OlySky

Good for you! I don't see anything wrong w/ wanting....nay needing to do this. It gets frustrating meet the same guy over and over. At least that's how my love life's been going. I'm on a sobbatical right now. I feel no need to put a guy through my trying to define myself better. So, if "he" likes me... "he" can wait. Good Luck to you!

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