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Wise-Ass

 
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Oh wisest of all asses, I need your guidance in knowing what is right. I have been dating this guy for a little over six months, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. If I date other guys, do I have to tell him? Why or not?

No, you don't have to tell him anything, but I think you should. If the relationship isn't progressing the way you would like, it's only fair that you tell him so. Who knows, he might be feeling the same way. You both might want more without realizing that the other feels the same. A little communication can solve a lot of problems, and it may be all your relationship needs to get on the right track.

Even if things don't play out that way, I still think that telling him you want to see other people is the right thing to do. What's the alternative? To do it on the sly and risk being found out? Then you will look guilty of something that you shouldn't feel guilty doing. I say be on the up-and-up from the get-go and let the chips fall where they may.

He probably won't like it, but that's a risk you have to take unless you want to be stuck in a stagnant relationship.

Thanks for the question.

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11 Comments

user-pic

After 6 months I think you'd owe it to him to let him know. I mean wouldn't you want to know if the situation was reversed?

silkysly

Are you exclusive?

user-pic

Funny though...when I have seen this situation reversed, the guy usually says nothing and pulls the whole "but we were never official" card and then just starts hooking up with another girl like it's nothing. Who knows though. Do what makes you happy.

user-pic

Thanks for the advice. I have been unsure of whether I am obligated to tell him or not. The advice from friends is not unless it is agreed that we are in a relationship... As far as we both know, we are not currently seeing others, but it is just the way it is. He said he isn't ready to label us, which is fine, but it leaves me confused :(

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There are some guys who are so great at leaving us feeling confused. At this point it depends how much you like him and if you're sure of what you want. He's "not ready" for the label after 6 months? Woah

Cary McNeal

If he's not ready to label you, then by all means, date around. I still don't think it will hurt to tell him ahead of time, not because you must, but because you are considerate. Communication rarely hurts.

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As long as you agree he doesn't have to tell you he's dating other women, then I agree you don't need tell him you're dating other men.

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And if I suddenly ask him if he wants me to tell him if I begin dating other people, I think things will get awkward

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I think you should let him know. Wise-Ass made a good point- what if he wants more out of the relationship and you two are misreading each other. If you go ahead and date other guys while he thinks you two are exclusive, he might feel betrayed. This might ruin an opportunity of having something more serious with him, if this is what you want.

It is simple to discuss this with him so you are both aware of each others' intentions. If he doesn't want an exclusive relationship, I say date anyone you like.

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I have nothing constructive to add, but I just wanted to say that "Oh wisest of all asses" made me laugh REALLY hard. XD

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Both are free agents. Just dating with no commitment yet. Agreeing with Cary the OP should mention she is thinking of dating others. Awkward or not, how the guy reacts will let her know where she stands with him. (The OP didn't say this but if she wants more out of the relationship - maybe she should say so instead.)

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