Now you probably take getting rejected with grace and humor.
I chose this one to run on Valentine's Day specifically because a lot of single guys and gals will find themselves at the bar, and the person serving them drinks is going to look mighty appealing on this, the loneliest of holidays.
Picking up a woman (or a man, for that matter) who works at a bar is possible, just incredibly unlikely. You've got to understand a few salient points:
- What you know about her could likely fill a thimble. She's served you beer, you think she's hot, that's about it. Have you ever had a one-night stand where you bought a woman a drink, nodded at her, and then got laid? No? Yeah, there's a reason for that.
- She spends a lot of her time dealing with drunken douchebags who want to get into her pants and think all it takes is an extra 5% on the bill to do so. So you've already got that against you.
- Even if she is interested, her bar may have strict rules about going home with customers, or she may personally have done it before and gotten burned.
There's even a possibility that she's married: sad to say, if you don't have a ring on your finger, you get better tips.
So, what are your next steps?
- Never, ever ask her when her shift ends. That's cute in movies. In real life, that's what stalkers ask.
- Don't get drunk. Order a beer and get some food.
- Go on a slow night and try to engage her in conversation. The menu's a good place to start.
- If the bar's more than half-full, don't even waste your time. She's on the clock, and keeping her from doing her job will ruin your chances.
- If the words "boyfriend", "girlfriend" or "significant other" come up, let it go.
- Once you've got a rapport going, and you're finishing up for the night, pay the bill, leave a generous but not excessive tip, and do one of two things: write your number on the check, or politely ask her out.
- Leave the ball firmly in her court. If she says no, smile, say it was worth a shot, and wish her a good night. If she doesn't call you back, just forget about it and move on.
That last is especially important: this should be a zero-pressure situation for her in absolutely every sense. That's your best shot.
Good luck, you'll need it.
This question was answered a few days ago. Come on guys.
Hey, just like you go to a doctor for a second opinion, you go to multiple guys for a different perspective from each one. Besides, I'm doing a solid to all the waitresses and bartenders I have known; if I can reduce the number of sleazy pickups by just one, I have done the proud members of the food service industry a solid.
I want to hear how the dude did!
Does the same go for a girl trying to get the handsome bartender?
Yep. Keep in mind barstaff are at their jobs. Male bartenders may be a little more open-minded, but in the end, they're still a server and you're still a customer, and any bartender has had lots of women flirt with him in an effort to get free drinks, then see that turn into hostility when the free beer their boobies entitled them to doesn't magically show up, or be given numbers from girls that aren't interested when the liquor wears off.
They can also be in a nasty legal spot, depending on the situation, so there's that to consider.
It might take a little less effort for a woman to pick up a guy, but she's still going to have to work at it.
If the words girlfriend come up.... slap her in the face.
This is ineffective when trying to convince a lesbian to sleep with you?
You know what does work? Applying glitter to your penis and showing it to her.
Go on, try it, it works! You can trust me! I'm a professional!
Great advice, RP!
Also keep in mind: even if you THINK she's flirting with you, remember that it's her job to be nice. Putting yourself aside and pretending to be something you're not in order to make some total stranger happy is just a little something we call "customer service". To her, you're just another nameless customer (and they're usually assholes), and when she's not dealing directly with you, you stop existing. She's so used to hearing lame compliments and pick-up lines that she probably doesn't even register them anymore- that's just the noise people make when she walks by.
The bartender?!? Oh B Gosh..., I think you need to hang some where else.
Excellent advice although I would advise against writing your number on the check. Always ask for the number. In some cases, it works to just give the girl your number and ask her to call you (but add that if she's not interested, that's okay too). Find something you both like and use that as a reason for getting together. I've done it before.
Honestly, for any guy who wants a girl, whether he's just looking for action or trying to have a relationship with a girl he really pines for, read Neil Strauss' The Game.