How can this chick be with a married man?
He obviously is not leaving him wife for her.
He would have done it already if he really wanted to, no matter what.

He's not gonna leave her.
If he wanted to, he would have already, no matter what.

If all you know about the wife is what he told you....then you know nothing.
She "seems horrible" and you've only "met" her? Then you are not in a position to make any judgement about what she is really like. Yes...perhaps she knows something about your real involvement here, OR he has done this before and it has changed her. In any case...re-evaluate your need to be with an attached man, especially one with FOUR children. He obviously has NO character OR morals. And you still want to pursue a relationship with him??

Something has damaged you in life and you have NO self esteem. Keep going down this road....and well, Karma is a bitch.

Therapy is a good thing.

I don't know why you would waste your time on a married man anyways! Obviously that man is the sort who would cheat, and who needs that kind of drama?

A married man? Oh goodness you can't be serious? You need to get away from that creep-o for all you know you could be one of many other girls on the side. If he is willing to cheat on the woman he is married to, he is more than willing to cheat on you

I would seriously dump him now. If he does leave his wife for you he will always be in a financial bind with 4 kids. He obviously have no morals, respect for his vows, is a cheat and a liar.. Not really what I would call a catch, now is he? Besides what women is really ever satisfied with another woman's leftovers?

But I doubt you would take my advice. You most likely think that he would NEVER cheat on you, if you were married because he really LUUUUV's you.. The wife is horrible? Wow, small wonder. I'm sure she has guess the nature of your "friendship" - I give his WIFE kudos for not knocking you flat on your face..

is that all you think your worth is someones second why would you disrespect yourself like that come on this is a married man that is the type of things they do when they cheat on their wife talk about the wife to the other woman to make her feel good about herself but i bet you one thing he will never leave his wife for you come have you ever heard the saying why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free

I don't see a problem with a woman being involved with a married man. You don't have to respect his wedding vows, that's his responsibility. You don't hold any blame for him cheating, that's a choice that he made.

That being said, I don't trust anybody that talks behind other people's backs. If he's trash-talking about his wife to you, he's putting all of his pettiness and spite on display and that is the biggest warning sign. He may be saying it to justify his actions to you or make you feel more important to him, but if he is showing this kind of disrespect to his wife and the mother of his kids, he will definitely be doing the same thing to you (if he isn't already).

Mystery nailed this advice, there's nothing good in this guy's future so get out as soon as you can.

if he talks that way abut the woman who is his wife and the mother of his children, then sweetie imagine the way he talks about you, the side p*ssy

how would you feel if you found out your husband was doing this? and if he did it once..what makes you think he'll change?

LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE HE'S PLAYING YOU FOR A FOOL HE WILL NEVER I AND I MEAN NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEAVE YOU FOR HIS WIFE so get over yourself goodbye.

Wow need you ask really lets pull our head out of our asses now
HES MARRIED AND HAS 4 KIDS he doesnt want you!!
he wants the freedom from marriage and his kids you will never be more then a booty call!!! chances are she knows and that is why she is so horrible per say who wouldnt be with a husband who cheats and has four kids what you wnat him to leave her and then you can be the step mom of four kids?
come on now get a SINGLE guy and kick his ass to the curb

You need to get out of there, he is not worth it ,The wife and the children don't decerve that.

leave that man is not worth it.

my exhusband had an affair but before I even knew about his affair he would put me down in front of people, come home angry, he would swear(he was never like this before) all of this was going on in time not all at once, I couldn't figure out why he was so hurtful to me..we have four children that he didn't spend much time with as a father should......well turns out he was having an affair with a younger women and was putting me down and making me look like the bad guy in front of people he also was chipping away at my self esteem, breaking me....you know setting the stage so if and when his affair became known he would be justified...well it eventually blew up in his face, because the people that knew me knew i was a nice woman, a good mom and good wife, but I eventually divorced him and left him with his affair partner and after six years divorced he still hasn't married her!!! If I was you I would go find yourself a single man that man is taken!!!!

Maybe you should go to church or reevaluate your morals. If he talks about his wife behind her back he probably talks about you to someone also. Your not special & he could care less about you. As much as he hates his wife she is doing something right because obviously they are still married. Think about it & MOVE ON.

I understand where you are coming from.. I am currently in the same situation. I am dating a married guy who has 3 children. Everyone else can talk trash about how horrible it is for women to be with a married man but we didnt take the vows he did. If he didnt want to honor them then thats his fault. I understand how you feel so dont feel like you are alone out there! I hope everything works out for you :)

My story probably isn't unique. But, I have a friend who is married with a set of 6 yr old twins. He caught his wife cheating in their house while the children were home, and has video footage to prove it. We have become really close, he just needed someone to talk to. It's been 2 yrs since this happened, and he decided to stay in order to see his children every day. Keep in mind they had these babies late in life. He is now 43. His reason for staying is " I don't know what she would drag home", and wants his kids to have both parents. I completely understand his thinking. But, as the time has passed my feelings for him have grown so that I am in love with him. It is frustrating, and I have values, and was raised in church. I have watched and listened and believe him. Just last week she told him she just wished he would go ahead and die, and I could tell that hurt him. Which of us wouldn't that hurt. He really likes me and tells me he wishes we had crossed paths 20 years ago, we would have made a good team. (We went to high school together) And unknown to me, he said he had a big crush on me then. We talk all the time, and spend hardly any physical time together. But he sends me pictures of his children and himself late into the night, and shows me where he's sleeping. And he appears to be alone. He has called and left his phone open so I could hear her yelling at him. At first he said he would divorce her when the kids graduate, that's 12 yrs from now, and then yesterday he said 7 yrs. I am so happy with him, he makes my day, and he says I make him happy too. He tells me I would never be just a booty call, that he respects me, he has my back. And yesterday for the first time he tells me he loves me, "really". I think he is so hungry for love, that I am convenient since I have been there as a friend for so long. My question is How can I wait for 7 to 12 years? And any comments from this group would be appreciated since I obviously cant see the forest for the trees. Thanks.

Been there, done that (4 kids and bitchy wife). To make a long story short: I am good friends with the then wife now, and he is my X-husband. You may want to look into why the wife was bitchy to begin with. I guarantee from past experience that there is another side to the story. The sad thing is that he had also been married to his bitchy wife for 7 years. Ever heard of the 7 year itch? It does exist. If you do get him, you may be sorry that you did. He is using you for a safety net so he will not be alone when he leaves the wife. If he is anything like my x (and he seems like it) he will not go away and leave you alone when you do decide to dump his ass until a new safety net is in place. I have a restraining order and a no contact order out on mine. Take my advice, get to know the wife a little better before you judge her. Eating crow sucks and I was lucky that my exes' x wife forgave me.

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I understand how you feel since I myself also involved in this kind of relationship. My advice is, if you can put a stop and get out of the system then you better do so. Hope it is not to late to do so. I know this married man for a year. At first time I saw him I already like him even until now i still love him. But now only i really feel the suffering of waiting for the call or sms that he could rarely do. And now I can feel how bitter and hurt being involved with married man. I m muslim and same as him so he can have more than one wife but he keep telling me that he cant marry me for some reasons. I realize that he is not sincere. In conclusion, married man just want to have fun with outside affair but never willing to take responsibility. Think about it.

A single mom of 2 boys , my 3yr is son of the married man I have been seeing for 12yrs. He is married with 3 children and supposly not happy......he has told me he loves me. Snice he's wife found out 2yrs. we have broken up so many times , he will wait 2-3 weeks and he will call me or come over to see his son. She (wife) has caught him talking to me, text forgets to clear his messages . I love him so much but I'm getting tried of this game or what ever its called.I'm 42 and his 35 ,we could stay out late talking, laughing and the best part is sex don't have a problem there . What do I do ?

A single mom of 2 boys , my 3yr is son of the married man I have been seeing for 12yrs. He is married with 3 children and supposly not happy......he has told me he loves me. Snice he's wife found out 2yrs. we have broken up so many times , he will wait 2-3 weeks and he will call me or come over to see his son. She (wife) has caught him talking to me, text forgets to clear his messages . I love him so much but I'm getting tried of this game or what ever its called.I'm 42 and his 35 ,we could stay out late talking, laughing and the best part is sex don't have a problem there . What do I do ?

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Glad I'm not the only one!! I guess the difference is I haven't had sexual intercourse .. When he initially approached me I had no plans on developing any kind of relationship with this man.. He is 20 years older than I am.. Has been married for 32 years and ...get this when his wife discovers the text in his phone her response was "we have two grand boys".. Wow grandpa !! Anyway her finding out didnt stop his advances so I guess I felt momentarily special .. Like he is choosing me over everything he has established with this woman. Who I feel really sorry for.. She begins to cry out to me and starts to reveal that she has been sharing this man over the past 27 years with various woman.. I was taken aback ... "And You stayed?", I asked. Obviously she and I both are suffering from some sort of self esteem issue because she asks me if I was willing to share him with her in a weird sort of freaky ménage.. Wait this story gets better... He has an 8 year old child he conceived outside of his marriage by his 28 year old daughter's best friend!! How I got all tangled up in this shit I'm still unsure of ... But I let him know I'm not interested In having this sort of relationship that I want, however he just won't stop calling or coming. It's been 6months and the wife claimed that this time she was leaving him.. I believe that he hoped he would have already had sex with me by now and his mission would have been done. But since I haven't given up the goods there is an emotional attachment and this predator is still seeking his prey! Im trying to escape with dignity and self respect...