He might have the hots for you, he might not. There's something to be said for hunches, so if you suspect he likes you as more than a friend, you could be right. The fact that he hasn't made a move doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have feelings for you. Maybe he decided somewhere along the way that he values your friendship too much to risk ruining it by pushing for more. Maybe he knows that you don't feel the same way about him, so he leaves it alone.
You should learn from his example--leave it alone. If he hasn't made a move on you after several years of friendship, I doubt he ever will. You'll never know his true feelings without asking him, but if you do that, he will deny it. It will also make things weird between you. There's no need to give him the "we're just friends and nothing more" speech if he hasn't pushed for more. That would be presumptuous of you and, again, would make things weird between you and him.
As long as his possible feelings for you aren't complicating the relationship, there's no need to do anything. You seem to have a good thing going, so don't mess with it. He hasn't.
Thanks for the question.
…& if he does decide to profess feelings for you, you can deal with it then. Maybe say, that you truly appreciate his honesty & you value his friendship. Continue by telling him, if the relationship moved in a different direction, you may lose that & that is something YOU do not want to do. Thank him for being honest & let him know he can talk to you at anytime about anything. If he tries to persist, stand your ground & say you aren’t willing to go there, but be nice. :))
What you suggest is reasonable and smart, but most womens need for control makes it a little hard to follow that advice, just sayin' :P
I don't agree with your generalization. I know as many male control freaks as female, if not more.
What about the guy friend who had his heart stomped on a couple of years back and has truly sworn off romantic endeavors completely, he lives like a 21 years old priest, openly admits very strong feelings for me, but does absolutely nothing about them. Devotes so much times to me, and pursues no other women.
To me, it doesn't sound like you and your friend have a healthy relationship. What was your response to him having feelings for you? Do you even feel the same way? He's clearly not going to get over you while you sit there and let him pour affection all over you.
Ok girl, the thing is...if this guy likes you and YOU KNOW IT, it has already become weird, theres no way around that. When you talk, hang out, you will always know hes into you and will sort of hang on to your every word. I think if you want whats best for him, you have to end the relationship. I mean, its kind of like leading him by being friends because maybe hes hoping that in maintaing a friendship with you, it will somehow make you realize hes the one for you. If thats not the case dear, save the guy some face and dump him. You are leading him on if youre trying to hide whats obvious. Dont do it, just end the relationship. So that he can move on and get a real girl.
I disagree with pretty much everything you said. First of all, she doesn't KNOW that he has feelings for her, she suspects it. Who knows, she could be wrong. We don't know these people, so we can't say for sure.
Second, this isn't some guy she just met that she can just "end the relationship" with in order to not lead him on. They've been friends for years. If she just cut off contact with him over a hunch that might not even be true, then, well, that would be stupid and irrational.
Anyway, to the original poster: like WA said, if he hasn't made a move yet, there's a good chance he never will. Maybe he just has a crush on you, or finds you attractive. It doesn't necessarily mean he's planning some elaborate confession of love or something like that. On the other hand, if he ever does, deal with it then. It's like my Mom always told me, "cross that bridge when you get to it." Not before.
Exactly!