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ok so my bf went to Vegas to a porn convention and took a pic with a porn star...and he put his hands on her butt!!! Kind of upset me, but he was very honest about it! Should I be upset, is this cheating??

This might sound a bit insensitive but he's at a porn convention. Just be glad he's not smanging anything. Putting his hands on a porn star's ass just kind of seems like how you'd take a picture. I mean...what else do you do when you've got a real porn star in front of you. You've got to touch something.

It's like taking a picture with a bronze bull. You've kind of got to get on it and pretend you're riding it right? Point is, don't look at her like a woman he might sleep with, she's just a statue that he's taking a picture with.

At a porn convention. Which, you remember, you must have been okay with him going to.

Basically, getting upset with that is like missing the forest because of the trees. So no, you shouldn't be upset and no it isn't cheating. Hell, he even told you AND showed you pictures I presume. When in Rome, ya know?

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12 Comments

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Maybe you should've talked about boundaries before he went! I mean I think being a bit upset is reasonable - it is kinda disrespectful for a boyfriend to put his hands on another woman's bottom, even if it is a porn star! But I wouldn't say it was cheating for the reasons GBFF said.

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FIRST OFF, ANY MAN WHO GOES TO A PORN CONVENTION IS ALREADY COMPLETELY SUSPICOIUS! And he has a girlfriend? DUMP now before you have a future emphinany and realize you are with a total jerk.

kamakula

Yeah, what man even goes to VEGAS when he has a gf?

user-pic

He went to Vegas not for the convention!!! That was something they just kind of fell into. He was with work related crowd! Yes, it upset me a little to see the picture. But he was totally honest with me! There was no way I would have ever found out if he hadn't been up front with me. We are very open with each other about everything.

chrissie1101

i think you ARE upset otherwise you wouldn't be asking the question. it's okay to be upset, i always say your feelings are your own, nobody can tell you not to have them. you're entitled to them. but, i'm with PJ here. this one may fall into the pick your battles zone. he was in vegas. at a porn convention. he was honest enough to show you a pic of what happened. soooo, maybe next time you'll go to vegas WITH him. let it go. don't rock the boat if the weather's good, you'll be the first one to go overboard.

user-pic

Dump him! That is so gross! Just the fact he went and you were ok with it is messed up!

user-pic

My wife showed me her pics from when she was at the Beijing Olympics where she's touching a male athlete's ripped abs and different male athlete on his butt. Both men were European and I must say very good looking. Still didn't bother me a bit.

user-pic

LOL wow. The Olympics is different from a PORN convention. Incomparable situations. You cant compare an touching an athlete to a porn star. NUH UH.

user-pic

how is it different? It's touching SOMEONE ELSE'S body. Occupation does not matter, it's still someone who isn't the S.O. So what if it was a porn star body, it's still a body.

I agree with Chrissy and PJ, he was upfront and showed you. He didn't hide it, lie or try to downplay it. Let it be. He actually was showing he's more a stand up guy than most. It's not like he scored with said porn star, cause that's drawing the line. But if you two are as open as you say, then take a deep breath, let it out slowly and let it go. You guys are still solid X3

user-pic

I agree. I mean, would have made it a difference in the situation had the OP's BF shown a pic of him touching a waitress's bum?

My only regret was I couldn't make it to the Olympics myself.

kamakula

Actually yes, occupation does in fact matter. If it was a movie star or porn star, in all likelihood, that's all that it would be. His hand on her butt taking a picture, like if it was a statue.

A waitress on the other hand is someone within the realm of hanky panky actually happening. I would be more upset seeing a pic like that of a SO and a "normal person". A pic with a celeb of some sort - to use mere mortals, that's like taking a suggestive picture with a statue of Abraham Lincoln.

user-pic

If you trust him in general and think this was just a thoughtless move on his part then you have every right to be upset for his poor judgement and then move on from there. I certainly wouldnt make this a life sentence or a reason to change your overall relationship, as you said... he was honest and up front enough to share this with you.

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