Is it ever casual? That depends on who you ask. One man's casual is another man's "I'm gonna marry this woman." "Casual" is a subjective description, and the differences in people's interpretations have been causing problems between men and women for thousands of years.
To your friend, your relationship was casual, obviously. To you it was not. Neither of you is right or wrong; you just saw things differently. It's all about perspective, and perspective is not a banana. Bananas are yellow. The end.* Perspectives are whatever they are to the person who has them. You can't convince him that his perspective is wrong because it isn't wrong. It just is.
I'm sorry it didn't work out. I wish I could say that you'll just go back to being friends, but dating has a way of ruining friendships. Maybe you two can be one of the few exceptions.
* Until they rot and turn black, but those don't count.
Very amusing tags. Those tags show just how confusing relationships like this can be when the expectations of the two people involved are different. So often someone ends up getting hurt. Great answer, Cary.
I really hate it when bananas rot and turn black, by the way. :-)
Of course, when bananas turn black they are perfect for making banana cake ...
Banana bread and banana cupcakes (with honey-cinnamon frosting, of course) both is probably the best food in existence. Strawberry mentos being the second best.
See here: http://www.marthastewart.com/recipe/desserts_E0308WELD_T
Kind of makes me wonder - he doesn't sound much like a friend to me. But if you're into black rotten bananas . . .
I know, we were super close friends for 6 years. We were doing the whole "families out to dinner" thing. To me, that equals serious. To me, risking a friendship of many years over a relationship is serious. I don't understand males!
Sounds to me like you two had some communication issues, since each of you saw the r'ship in a completely different way.
I once had a bf who insisted that if he thought the ocean was purple, and said it was purple, then it was purple, no matter what anyone else said. I'm all for perspectives and letting people have their view, but another person's interpretation of what seems clear to me does not have to be *my* interpretation. Needless to say, that relationship is in the past.
what you might do, if you were feeling brave, and calling on the strength of your previous friendship - is to have a moment with him where you tell him that to you it didn't feel casual, and that you feel surprised (or whatever your feelings are). You don't have to get overly upset or emotional, or talk about anything that he did. But you might just let him know that you saw things differently - without arguing or denying his view.
Then see what he thinks.
It may not change his view, but at least you can let him know you were on a different page. While being ready to move on at the same time. Because anyone who values the relationship less than you do is probably someone that you don't need to be with long-term - even if he was a really great friend.