He messes around with you because his girlfriend hasn't caught him. Also, for the record, you two aren't "friends with benefits." You're the other woman. Own it or bail. This dude is cheating on his girlfriend with you. It's probably hot; if cheating weren't hot, no one would do it. But this is the truth.
I don't really believe in "friends with benefits" anyway. It's never a 50/50 arrangement One person always wants the relationship to be more than what it is. "Friends with benefits" is just a mutually-agreed upon lie: one person gets to pretend the other person isn't totally in love with him or her, and the other gets to pretend that any day, their "friend" will realize what a great couple they'd be.
But as I said, you're not in that situation. You're in something slightly more twisted.
My guess is that he is a supremely unhappy person stuck in a rut, who doesn't quite have the spine to break-up with the girlfriend he loves... but not enough to stay committed.
Now, he could very well have feelings for you. It is possible to love more than one person. The human is complex. There's alot of room in there for alot of feelings. For instance, I don't believe old relationships ever end; they're abandoned and left to wander. We don't get to choose our feelings. We don't get to choose who we love. But we do get to choose how we treat the people in our life. You wouldn't like to be cheated on, would you?
I'll bet this guy isn't complex. He's just a selfish little fat kid who wants to eat all of the cake. If you take your cake away, he will just find more cake. Are you feeling my metaphor here? Now I am hungry.
And you know what's worse? If she does find out, and she dumps him, he'll either find a way to blame you, or he'll become a weeping, needy human leech, his entire body covered in tiny, wet suckers.
Do you really want him to like or have feelings for you now?
Its all fun & games til somebodys penis is on fire,or the "jump off" (its what we call the other person with no status) is in court trying to tell the judge why "main lady" should have a restraining order against her because she found out jump off was a skank & from then on made it her mission to see to it that her life was interrupted the way she took it upon herself to share in the task with her EX boo to take away main ladys choices WHEN THEY WERE NOT HERS TO TAKE!!!!!......or something like that.✿◕‿◕✿✿◕‿◕✿
WHOA! I think my head is still kind of spinning from AngelBabyGirl's response! LOL! But I get where you are coming from.
Seriously, and if you think and/or want this douche to have feelings for you, If he can cheat with you he WILL cheat on you! C'mon ladies it isn't that hard to find a decent guy who isn't already taken (in which case if he is taken and willing to hook up w/ you, it negates the decent factor). Buy a battery powered friend until you find the right guy and quit trying to have something that isn't yours.
see??...thats kinda what i said....teehee
Just remember when this happens to you karma is a b![@#.Find your own man and leave this other unsuspecting womens alone.When this happens to you someday never say you didnt have it coming.Ive obviously been in the other girls postition.But also been on the other end before it happened to me.Once it does you realize you would never want to do that to another women.Because then you recognize the pain it brings.This guy is obviously just doing it cause he can.Would you ever be fully able to trust him even if you did end up with him.I know I wouldnt.I'm not passing judgement either just saying I learned this the hard way through my own experiances.It hurts.
thanks for that answer because im going through the same thing! except i told him nothing could happen no hooking up becuz i WONT be the other woman
Being the "other" woman can't be great for your self-esteem, either.