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Okay, so I like a guy but he has problems with my gay friends. How do I deal with the balance beam of following my attraction to him, but not relinquishing my awesome buddies who also like other guys?

I wonder why you'd want to pursue something with somebody who has a direct problem with people you consider friends. In order to do one, you're going to have to relinquish the other. You can never bring your gay friends around your boyfriend and your boyfriend will probably have an issue with you hanging out with them.

Now, I'm guessing that in your eternal optimism, you are hoping that perhaps your new beau would eventually come around on them but that's a big risk to take. You have to decide what matters more to you. Is the risk of losing your friends worth it?

Real talk, I think your friends are an extension of you. They help make you who you are. To attempt to figure out a way to have both when dude has made it clear that he has issues with your gay friends sounds like possibly trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

Just think of this too. Say you pursue something with this dude. And you all date and you've alienated your friends. Who is going to be there when you need somebody to talk to? Or if things with the dude go south? What happens then? Then you've lost both. That's no bueno.

I'm not telling you not to pursue anything. I just think that you can't pull off the balancing act the way you think you can and you've got to decide what matters most.

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How would you react if you're friends were of a different ethnicity of the guy you like, and he had a problem with their race?

I don't see that hypothetical situation much different from yours. Stick with your friends. Your friends have been around much longer than this guy; they'll probably be with you long after. There are many men out there, you'll really like some of them, some of them won't have any problem hanging out with your gay friends.

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