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On our final date the boy I was seeing (we were not exclusive) shows up with a hickey the size of Texas. I, disgusted leave the date midway through. He says I am over reacting. I think it is disrespectful and don't plan on seeing him again. Thoughts?

My first thought is: are the two of you fifteen? A hickey? That's the sign of an inexperienced mouth.

Segue!

You kind of answered any question you had. The two of you were not exclusive. Technically, he didn't do anything wrong. You both agreed to see other people. Obviously, he did. You shouldn't have agreed to non-exclusivity if deep down you wanted some kind of commitment.

What he did was tacky. But he did you a favor. If he was serious about you, if he thought of you as potential girlfriend material, he would have, at least, been understanding of your emotions getting away with you. Chances are, if you had shown up with the hickey, he would have had a bro-fit.

But I'd have to say that no real harm was done here. There was no betrayal. He just showed you that he's not worth your time, providing you thought the two of you had a future together.

Not being exclusive isn't always a preamble to a relationship. Such as your case. Don't see him again. Simple. Done. Don't waste any rage on the dude.

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5 Comments

Megan

I haven't had a hickey since high school.

One time I saw one on a coworkers neck and I was like "is that a hickey on your neck?" she grabs her neck and was like "that fucker didn't!" and runs into the bathroom. Then runs over to cosmetics to cover it up. She was so mad hahaha. She's a college student too.

user-pic

i love bite marks... just not on visible areas. they are little souvenirs... or little landmarks for future references, depending on which end are you (receiving or giving).

user-pic

Finally an answer that I actually agree with! Good lord, a hickey is a broken blood vessel! That is buck nasty, you can do better !

Dektora

Am I the only one who associate a visible hickey with territory marking? I tend to see it as a way to tell everyone who would lay eyes on your guy/gal that he/she is already seeing someone. It takes so long to make one (and not in a nice and/or sexy way) that I can't imagine someone doing one just for the "fun" of it.
So the way I see it, that other woman claimed your date in a very territorial way. Move along indeed.

babygirl west

puuurrrrfect answer really.

it's super immature and he def. did you a favor! think of the time you saved :)

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