I suggest that you support him no matter what and don't let on that you think he doesn't have what it takes. I realize that's not being completely honest, but hear me out.
If you tell him that he sucks and he gives up on his dream because of that, he will always wonder "what if?"--and you will forever be the person who killed his dream. You don't want that. If he's not superstar material, he will find out soon enough. In a creative field like music, just about everyone he meets will tell him he doesn't have what it takes. He will be discouraged at every turn. Let the bad news come from someone he doesn't love.
Also, are you a music talent scout? You say he's not great and you're probably right, but you never know who might see something in him that you don't. Musical talent isn't always necessary for stardom--just ask Ke$ha or T-Pain. So you never know. The odds are slim, but you never know.
He might get better, too. If he's serious about pursuing a career in music and throws himself into it, he could improve more than you think. Some performers are born, but many are made.
I say step back and let him pursue his dream. Even if he fails, he will have the satisfaction of knowing he gave it his best shot. Don't take that away from him.
Thanks for the question.
You don't seem to be in love with him, if you were, you'd truly believe he's a really talented artist and you'd believe in him a lot more he believes in himself. I think it is a little mean on your part to say that 'he's ok, but not the next R&B super star'. Life's all about about working to make your dreams come true and you should be supportive no matter what your idea of talent is. Don't be mean, we all have the right to pursue our happiness.
Dude, have you seen those episodes of music talent shows where a person comes in with ridiculous self confidence only to be crushingly humiliated on national tv?
Yeah... that's where the 'if you don't think their music is the most amazing thing ever then you can't love them' attitude gets you.
Different relationships work in different ways, for instance I value honesty from my partner way more than ego rubs if he feels strongly enough about something. Sure he's there in my corner and giving me encouragement whether I succeed or fail but that doesn't involve deluding himself about how likely either is to happen.
Sometimes the difference between success and failure is just having someone in your corner who fully supports your dream. Everything Cary said is true and there will plenty of people along the way to make him doubt himself and his dream. As the person he loves, you sure don't want to be one of them.
(I don't doubt your love for the man just because you probably have a realistic idea of his talent. but keep that to yourself!)
The answer is you support him by being there SMILING at his performances. Tell him what you do like. Help him meet people in the business.
Encourage the things his is good at... there is more to the biz than being the performer!
Be his muse. :)
Great answer, as usual, Cary! I have to agree that you do not want to be the dream-crusher. He will find out soon enough what it takes to be successful in the music business, and as Cary pointed out, sometimes it's not talent!
Support, but don't lie. You can support his dream, but you have to do it from a place that feels honest to you.